Saturday, June 25, 2016

Decisions and consequences

We’ve all done it at least once in our life (many of us done it a few times): made a *very bad decision*.
We’ve done it because we didn’t see any other way or because it seemed the fastest way out of a situation or because we thought we could get away with it.
Sometimes we did it without giving it much thought, other times we did a great deal of thinking.
Either way-the decision was bad.

While we knew that the decision wasn’t the best while we were making it, we all hoped it would fix the immediate problem and once that is done, we could straighten things out and just carry on out merry way.
But it never works this way, does it?
The problem with a *very bad decision* is it never exists in a vacuum, all by itself. It loves company and brings all it’s friends to party: the original *very bad decision* is usually followed by a series of other *bad decisions*, some bigger than others.
*Very bad decision* also has a family, which it’s inseparable with: the consequences. And those just love to breed (almost at the same speed as rabbits): there are consequences born out of the original consequences. In order to deal with those (usually to cover them up), we end up making more bad decisions. It’s a catch 22 and a slippery slope.

The one and only way out of the mess is to bite down, own your bad decision and take responsibility.
Sounds simple, but in reality it could be an insurmountable task for a lot of people. Because it inevitably make you look bad (sometimes very bad). You risk losing friends, lovers, partners, family members forever.
BUT… More often than not laying it all out (no excuses, just naked truth) will make you vulnerable.
While most people don’t like the feeling, it makes others feel empathy and as a result you are more likely to be forgiven (provided your repentance is genuine and you are willing to make amends).
Let’s face it: none of us are demi-Gods. We are just human-shortcomings and all. More to the point, we realize that. So I the back of our minds we generally tend to be forgiving, because we hope that the same  would be extended to us, should we find ourselves in a predicament.
However, when faced with more lies to cover previous lies and attempts to play us, we experience another emotion-resentment (often coupled with it’s good mate disappointment).
No one likes to be taken for a fool. And so we go to the opposite side of the spectrum: revenge, desire to punish. I don’t recommend to ever underestimate what people are capable of when they find themselves lied to, betrayed, swindled, taken advantage of. You might think you know the person and bet on the fact that he/she “is not like that” or “will never do this”, but you shouldn’t. You might find yourself faced with shit raining down your head and no way to stop it.

I’ve made my share of bad decisions in the past. But as I grow older, I’d like to believe I’ve learned from them.
These days I think long and hard before deciding on a course of action (whether it has to do with business, personal or professional life). Partly because I really do believe in Karma (what goes around, comes around, sometimes tri-fold) and have seen her in action too many times throughout my life to ever discount her existence. And partly because I want to consider all the possible outcomes (especially the worst-case scenario) and how they might affect me.
I think about long-term consequences vs. short-term benefits. And I am brutally honest with myself as to whether or not I will be able to live with them.

Fact is, we always have a choice. Always and always. It’s just sometimes we don’t like our choices. But it doesn’t mean they are not there.
Sometimes in order to achieve something (or simply to go forward), we need to step over our pride, or give up some comforts, or things. Or we could chose to scheme and swindle. The choice is there. Think hard before you make it.