Pages

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Cynical/jaded or cautious/realistic?

Last week someone made a comment to me. It was along the lines of “We should approach the world from a standpoint that everyone is basically good and decent”.
I think the person was hinting that not doing so indicates a degree of cynicism and jaded-ness.
While I agree with the sentiment in general and apply it in regular day-to-day life, I will be amiss not to point out that sex industry is very different in that regard.
While majority of the clients ARE, in fact, good and decent people just looking for a bit of fun and stress relief, there is a significant percentage of those who partake in the industry for very dark reasons.
These people deliberately target sex industry and sex workers-and as a result the balance of bad/good here is very different from the same balance in real life. The percentage of “bad” people is significantly higher.
Below are screenshots of some comments on #reddit. I will let these people speak for themselves- I don’t think any editorial comments are needed here.







2






So for sex workers a cautious approach to every and each client is a must. It is a simple matter of self-preservation. We cannot afford the luxury of assuming that every person who contacts us is a lovely happy-go-lucky guy.

Please don’t misunderstand me: I am not calling for demonizing all clients. All I am saying that screening procedures are necessary and certain degree of caution is a must.

Clients need to understand that we use screening/verification in order to protect ourselves. Because the alternative for us is a possibility of getting hurt, assaulted, robbed or, in some extreme cases, killed. Not to mention other unpleasant things, like being stalked, blackmailed, evicted from your premises, etc.

The people whose posts you see above is our reality. They are *very real* part of the client pool. Not an insignificant/negligible part, either. But at any rate, it is a cold comfort to know the guy who literally ripped you apart was one in a thousand (or whatever).
And we have to deal with reality as we find it, not how we wish it was.
So, gents, please don’t get offended when we ask questions, or require you to follow a certain booking protocol. Believe me, more than anything, we wish every client was a kind, gentle person who simply wanted a bit of company. But it’s just not the world we live in.

This is a good opportunity to thank from the bottom of my heart all the truly amazing clients out there: you are the ones who keep our faith in humanity, you are the ones who make our job worthwhile, you are the ones who put the smile on or faces and make us feel good about what we do.

Thank you! XXX

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Amy Schumer on losing her virginity. From her book "The Girl With A Lower Back Tattoo"

I really liked the book. The raw honesty and complete lack of pretence with which Amy approaches everything is refreshing.

http://www.amyschumer.com/

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/sitb/B01HR3GH2C?ref=sib_dp_aw_kd_udp

I liked Amy's work before, but now I am a huge fan of Amy as a person.

The following chapter is something I feel should be read by as many people as possible, hence the re-blog








Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Few thoughts about online sex industry forums

One Sex Worker's True Thoughts on the Sex Industry: A Few Thoughts on Review Boards http://ericaobsession.blogspot.co.nz/2016/10/a-few-thoughts-on-review-boards_6.html?m=1

I am re-blogging this, as I agree wholeheartedly with everything said and the author paints a great picture of the reality of sex industry forums

Escort review boards are a contentious issue in the sex industry. Some sex workers find them a useful marketing tool whereas others find them an annoyance; sometimes, even controlling. Regardless of how individual sex workers feel about review boards, we can agree that if reviews are to be written then they must uphold the dignity of sex workers.

Personally, I have never been a fan of reviews, even reviews which are positive in nature, because they take something which is special between two people and diminish it through indiscriminate public consumption. Furthermore, I must ask: is it possible to review a human being without objectification? Perhaps, perhaps not. When sex workers are reviewed like commodities, there is the potential that some clients will internalize this construct and begin viewing sex workers as commodities, thus making the personal now impersonal. If this depersonalization becomes normalized, it can affect the behaviour of clients and, consequently, the experiences of sex workers.

In truth, review boards began with positive intentions. They aspired to improve the industry by promoting quality sex workers and exposing sex workers who treated clients with disrespect. They established a community wherein gentlemen could partake in the industry free from the threat of being ripped off or, in the worst case scenario, being a victim of theft and/or violence. Yet, what began as information sharing soon became, for some clients, a slippery slope. There was a segment of clients whose motivation for writing reviews became less about participation in the community and were, instead, more self-serving. Some clients began to like the attention garnered from their reviews, the ego rush of praise, and the notoriety of distinguishing themselves as connoisseurs. This segment of clients often self-identify under the term “hobbyist.”

Although some might argue that the term hobbyist is innocuous, I disagree. The term implies that experiences with sex workers are things to collect, thus reinforcing a power imbalance in which clients are specialists and sex workers are commodities. Furthermore, in human society, nomenclature matters. How someone labels something also affects how they treat something. For example, clients would not visit sex workers who refer to their clients as “tricks” because they understand that sex workers who incorporate disparaging labels would not treat them with the dignity they deserve. In sum, language informs behaviour. In my opinion, the term hobbyist is problematic because it reinforces a gamelike atmosphere in the sex industry. And, when some clients speak about the sex industry as though it is a game, then there is the potential that some clients will also treat it like a game.

Some clients crave attention in the online world. As they generate more and more reviews, there is pressing need to stand-out, to have more eyeballs on their reviews, and more comments from their peers. As such, the behaviour of some clients becomes more provocative. For example, some clients become crasser in their sexual descriptions; some clients incorporate disparaging humour towards sex workers; some clients establish outlandish goals to be noticed, i.e. desiring to review fifty girls within a short period of time; and, sadly, some clients make a literal game of their engagements with sex workers, i.e. having an Elimidate game night in which sex workers compete against one another to win an all-night session with a client. It would seem that, for some hobbyists, the attention garnered from a virtual review has become more satisfying than the human experience. This obsession for virtual praise, not only commodifies sex workers but it also reduces their dignity.
Now, I am sure that many clients would counter that hobbyists are not representative of the majority. Although that is true, their influence on the industry has been insurmountable. Review boards are public social entities, which have the power to influence client behaviour. Because of the culture of free expression on the internet, provocative actions by hobbyists often go unchallenged, thus shifting the limits of “acceptable” behaviour in the sex industry. Although these shifts begin slowly, over time, the jokes, the disrespectful tone, and inappropriate comments by a few hobbyists, embolden other clients to follow suit. Just as language informs behaviour so, too, does the culture of review boards. The jokes become edgier, the tone becomes more negative, and respect decreases. As the commodifying tone perpetuates, it has the potential to influence how some clients treat sex workers during their engagements. Again, it bears repeating: talk about something like a game, then there is the potential that some will treat it like a game.
But, in truth, it would be unfair to solely criticize hobbyists. Their actions do not occur within a bubble; instead, they are within the public realm. As such, they are potentially influenced, nurtured, and enabled by the actions of other clients. In the online world, whenever you click something, "like" something on Facebook, or retweet something on Twitter, you are associating yourself with the message and contributing to the culture. Review boards are no different. As clients click and comment on provocative and/or disrespectful reviews, they normalize them, further enabling some clients to treat the sex industry as though it is a game. Because the impersonal medium of the internet distances clients from the consequences of their actions, it is sex workers who bear the brunt of this often gamelike atmosphere. Sex workers who are working to feed their children or to pay their way through school. Sex workers who are real people and deserve respect. To them, the sex industry is not fun and games. It is their economic livelihood.

And then, of course, there are issues of deliberate malice: fake comments and/or fake reviews. Negative comments, whether true or untrue, affect the perceptions of other clients and negatively impact the income of sex workers. Now, some clients might argue that they can see beyond the negativity of a casual comment, but I disagree. Although we assume, as independent thinkers, that we are above being socially influenced, we are not. Everyone is influenced by information in the public realm, which is why, for example, negative political advertising works so well. Furthermore, there have been sociological studies regarding the effects of online negative comments, for example in online newspapers. According to studies, people who read the negative comments in online articles have a lower quality perception of an article than those who do not read the comments. In sum, negative criticism, more often than not, shapes people’s perceptions in a negative fashion. It is the same on escort review boards. And, the sad part about it is that, oftentimes, these negative comments are not even true. As such, the trauma and fiscal consequences upon individual sex workers affected by cyberbullying cannot be understated. In fact, as an industry, we do not speak up enough on this issue enough. This needs to change.

Furthermore, I would be remiss if I did not mention the potential coerciveness of review boards. Over my years in the industry, I have witnessed the direct relationship between the rise of review boards and the obsolescence of safer sexual practices. In many reviews, sex workers who do not offer an extensive menu are often labeled as “restrictive.” More often than not, this label prompts online criticism such that a sex worker may feel compelled to shift his or her restrictions to avoid online censure. On some review boards, most notably The Erotic Review, the pressure to engage in higher-risk services are written into the board’s ratings structure such that a sex worker can only be given a basic rating unless he or she offers higher-risk services. In practical terms, this makes engaging in safer sexual services a demerit. Because many clients rely on a high ratings score when selecting a sex worker, there is the potential that some sex workers will offer services which are outside their comfort level. In truth, I know many sex workers who engage in higher-risk services, such as bareback blowjobs, because they fear the fiscal repercussions of a negative review. For them, it is not a choice.

Lastly, it is important to remember that review boards are within the public realm. They can be seen by anyone and everyone. This is crucial to consider because, in recent years, the sex industry has received renewed focus from sex industry advocates pressing for decriminalization of the industry, and anti-sex work groups pressing for criminalization. In 2014, when Canada held parliamentary committee hearings regarding sex work laws, anti-sex work groups read aloud commentary from real clients on review boards to demonstrate how disparagingly some clients viewed sex workers. Not surprisingly, the commentary was from disrespectful hobbyists and confirmed the worst stereotypes in the industry. The moment the commentary was read, the committee room was aghast. Instantly, the words of disrespectful clients dismantled years of hard work by sex work advocates to shift societal perceptions.

Clients often state that they do not wish to be painted with the same negative brush as hobbyists; yet, they rarely stand up to them online. Some clients ignore the negativity of hobbyists whereas others leave review boards completely. In truth, neither of these actions advance improvement of the sex industry. With little opposition, hobbyists become further emboldened, which negatively impacts the experiences of sex workers. Moreover, by not standing up to disrespectful clients, they allow the disparaging voices of hobbyists to be the public face of clients at a time when anti-sex work groups are seeking to use our words against us.

Because review boards affect both the private interactions between clients and sex workers as well as the public perception of the sex industry, mutual respect is essential. Oftentimes this is not the case. Oftentimes we allow the industry to be controlled and defined by hobbyists.

As such, we allow the stereotypes of the sex industry to persist.

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Assaulted by a client (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGE)


I get right to the point: I took a ½ hr. booking from an Indian client and he literally mauled me in addition to pushing my head on his dick and holding it despite me fighting for air. Not to mention repeated attempts at unprotected sex. And hair pulling.
Because I’ve been active on various online industry forums for years, I am pretty sure I know some of the responses I’d get once I publish this. So let’s break down what happened to smaller parts and see how and why.

1. It could have been a client of ANY ethnicity. Why highlight the fact that it was an Indian?

While true in theory, reality is somewhat different.

I screen very carefully and always ask for a voice call. I DO NOT accept bookings from guys who sound/come across as crude or rude. I also avoid guys whose demeanor on the phone is that of an entitled man (as in “I am paying and you’ll do whatever I want”).
This is next to impossible to do with Indian clients, as they are mostly soft spoken, often address you as “dear” and use proper British English (the ones who were taught it back home) or their English is so poor, it’s hard to figure out anything (certainly not their attitude) apart from basic information necessary for a booking.
Also, providers all over the world report serious issues with Indian clients consistently. Many providers place a blanket ban on Indian clients and are not shy about saying so in their ads.
Ours is a numbers game. While out of 100% of my “other ethnicities” clients I’ve had <1 1="" 95="" about="" and="" bookings="" clients="" distinctly="" ethnicities="" from="" i="" indian="" is="" of="" other="" outright="" overall="" p="" ranging="" rate="" ratio="" saw="" terrible.="" the="" to="" trouble="" unpleasant="" were="" with=""> 2. Well, if that’s the case, why did you take his booking?

Good question. And here’s the answer. It’s actually two-part.

First part is that I don’t discriminate: if a guy sounds nice and normal and there are no obvious red flags, I’ll accept his booking. He is entitled to my services as much as the next guy.

Second part has to do with online forums. I’ve seen many threads where SWs were accused of being “racist” because they state in their ads “No Indians”. Many raging debates had taken place on the subject.

I always check myself and analise my own behaviour, because I am of a firm believe that one cannot be honest with others unless one is brutally honest with oneself. And so I ask myself: are you really turning this person down because there are some red flags or are you being subconsciously prejudiced?
This guy who assaulted me sounded fine in inquiry: he didn’t haggle over the price, did not ask for unprotected services and clearly stated what he wanted (DFK, BJ,FS and what he termed “playing with breasts”). It was all fine by me and do offer all of these services, so I took his booking. I also didn’t think things could go very wrong in ½ hr.
3. Why didn’t you terminate the booking as soon as he got rough?

Again, excellent question. And I point my finger squarely to online review forums. Here’s why.
It is no secret that anyone could post *whatever* review about a SW and said review could seriously affect SWs business. I read a lot of reviews to get an idea what clients’ expectations are.
There are plenty of *negative* comments out there about some SWs having too many “don’t”s, not allowing to touch certain parts of their bodies in bookings, acting like they are very fragile, etc. I don’t blame consumers for wanting to get value for their money and I admit that some girls really do go OTT with “don’t”s.
So I try to deliver a good experience.

Reality is, some guys who write reviews never tell the story accurately: they completely omit or gloss over their own behaviour making the provider look bad. Despite the fact that popular argument (from the review writers) is that “if a SW has many great reviews and one bad one, it won’t affect her business”, reality, again is somewhat different.
You can have as many glowing reviews as you want, but a negative one will get people thinking “is her service slipping”, “Surely, there is no smoke without a fire”. And there always would be some *potential* clients who are new to the boards or are infrequent readers who would take that bad review as a gospel truth and cross the provider off their “wish list”. Even if it’s only one booking lost, it is still $200-$250 from provider’s bottom line.

Because with today’s online forums virtually everything that went on in a booking could be potentially broadcast to a worldwide audience, providers often have that niggling thought in the back of their mind. And so they put up with more than they are comfortable with and stretch their endurance limits.

There times when we (providers) figure that the guy is on the verge of cuming and we let certain things go because we figure it’ll only be a few moments and then it’ll be all over.
Another problem is not wanting to create a big loud scene-it is often not conducive to keeping our working premises, as many landlords just looking for a reason to kick us out and good premises are very hard to come by these days in NZ and especially in Auckland.
4. Maybe he didn’t mean it? Maybe it was just “in the heat of the moment” and he didn’t realise the pain/damage he is inflicting?
No. When he asked if he could “play with my breasts”, I didn’t realise he meant he seriously wanted to maul them.
In fact, it was his “opening act”: as soon as he was out of the shower, he immediately started on pushing his tongue so far down my throat it felt like he was touching my tonsils while simultaneously grabbing, squeezing and kneeing my breasts extremely hard-in the manner I’ve shown on the photo with the sponge (because it is too painful to re-create on my boobs).


That’s before I ever touched his penis.

I tried to divert his attention elsewhere and distract him with a BJ, but he kept going after them. The brief times when he wasn’t he was pushing (and holding) my head down on his penis with both hands. Or literally biting my pussy. Or using his hands trying to remove the condom.

I always pride myself on consistency of my service and on delivering what I was paid for. So I gave him a warning, but didn’t terminate the service. I tried my very best to finish the booking.
While he would say “Sorry, sorry” (clearly insincere) after each warning (there were several), he would revert to the behaviours described after a few seconds.

Ultimately, I did terminate the service after about 25 minutes-I simply couldn’t take the assault any longer.
He then resorted to begging (again, insincere): Please, please, just make me cum. If you just kiss it without a condom... And so on over and over. I ordered him to get dressed and leave. At that stage I was none too nice and threatened to call the police. He started begging me not to and finally left.

Bottom line: based on the questions asked by him in the inquiry, hurting women and treating them like “lower” beings is what gets him off. He is obviously well aware of that and that’s what he seeks.
I am a tough cookie, so am generally alright. There was a Pet Expo on this weekend, so I went and got lots of doggie cuddles :).


But I hope the events described above will help guys understand why some girls won’t see Indians period and why others place blanket ban on things like breast play and DFK.
And some young new to industry girls might just exit the industry altogether after a booking like that.
It’s all good and well to say that “he was an exception” and “not all Indians are like him”, but reality is when this shit happens to you, it’s a cold comfort.

Yes, I know not all Indians are like that. In fact, I have a few that come see me occasionally (every few months). While I will certainly continue seeing those (they are fine, otherwise I would not be seeing them repeatedly), I will be lying if I said I won’t be reluctant to accept bookings from new Indian clients.
If that makes me a racist, so be it. At the end of the day my well-being is the most important thing to me.
 
While I understand nice guys’ frustration with SWs refusing to see any and all Indians and their argument about “getting to know them first before tarring everyone with the same brush”, cold hard reality is we really don’t know you and taking a chance at “getting to know you” might result at looking as the photos here (based on percentages offered above). If you are truly objective, you’ll agree that it’s a big ask.
On the other hand, you not getting a booking with a provider of your choice is a minor annoyance and ultimately will keep some $$ in your pocket.
The two outcomes are clearly not equal.
P.S. On unrelated note. Yes, I have implants. But they are done under the muscle. Which means that what one feels when squeezing my breasts is my own tissue and muscle-hence the bruising.
The reason I brought this up is because there is a rumour being spread by a NZ inline forum member (via snarky public comments and PMs) that my breasts are “hard as baseballs” and “feel like falsies”. While firm, my breasts are very pliable, which is why this Indian guy was able to squeeze them like he did.
Peace out.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

New offering: Luxury Range packages

LUXURY RANGE PACKAGES

I had offered these luxury retreat packages in the past to my loyal regulars by private invitation only and they have proven to be a great success.
So I've decided to extend the invitation to a wider group of clients.
The concept: to reward great clients with extra treats and to show my appreciation for their patronage

The time frame: these packages require advance planning (approx. 10-14 days ahead) and cannot be cancelled once booked. They will take place on either Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday (one of these days). Other days of the week are not available, so please keep this in mind before contacting me regarding a booking.

The location: luxury 5-star hotel

Availability: Each package described below is available to one client only. You need to be either existing regular or semi-regular client or be prepared to answer some questions in order for me to determine compatibility.

Frequency of retreats: I am planning on organising these retreats every 8-10 weeks until I leave NZ permanently in the beginning of the next year. So there is only a limited number of those available in total.
Package No.1: Relaxing Spa retreat:

We will meet around 9-9:30 am at the luxury hotel in Auckland CBD and proceed to the Spa. There we will partake in 1 hr couple's massage followed by relaxation in the Spa's tri-bathing facilities.
We will the proceed into a deluxe suite where we'll engage in some fun.

Total duration (from the time of the arrival to the hotel) approx 5-5.5 hrs

Price: $400. Available to one client only

Package No.2: Champagne and bubbles

You will join me in the deluxe suite of a luxury 5-star hotel where I'll pour you some French Champagne and we'll engage in some mischief including taking a bubble bath together in the generous size tub.

Total duration approx. 2 hours.

Price: $400. Available to one client only.

Package No.3: Dinner and dessert

You will join me in the private club (members only) for a buffet dinner and free-flowing refreshments (alcoholic).
We will then proceed to the luxury suite for some dessert in private.

Total duration approx 3 hours.

Price: $400. Available to one client only.

Package No.4: Early bird's delight

You will join me in the private club (members only) at around 9:30-10am for a hot buffet breakfast.
We will then proceed to the luxury suite to engage in some bedroom acrobatics to burn off the calories.
Total duration approx. 3 hours.

Price $400. Available to one client only

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Pet owners, be generous

I love all animals. Especially dogs. Especially little wee doggies.
Dogs love us unconditionally. They are always happy to see us. They never ask for anything in return.
Even if we occasionally leave them alone for too long, or forget to feed or walk them: the minute they see us, all is forgiven and they shower us with wet, sloppy doggie kisses.

It is a proven scientific fact that petting a dog or cat lowers one’s blood pressure and helps one to achieve calm.

When I hold a dog, it gives me such unadulterated joy: I feel happiness forming inside of me and spreading outwards.
I’ve had dogs throughout most of my life, but unfortunately can’t have one now: I live in a CBD apartment which prohibits any pets and I also travel a great deal (often weeks at a time).
That’s why I am so grateful when a dog owner I happen to pass on the street lets me pet their puppy.
Often it literally makes my day: a little doggie cuddle goes such a long way.
Dogs love me and often I get followed by them…LOL.. I think I used to be a dog in my past life and they recognize their own ;)

Dog owners, please be generous with your pet’s love. Share the pure goodness of your dog’s energy.
Let it be your “good deed for the day” 

Friday, July 8, 2016

Let's keep a firm grip on reality

Pretty much every industry I know has “high end” and “low end” version of itself.
For years I worked in hospitality industry, so I will illustrate with an example from that.

Las Vegas is famous for it’s “all-you-can-eat” buffets. But they are not all the same.
Some are priced as low as $3.99, others could be as high as $95. And then, of course, there is everything in between.
Every one of those places advertise and try to attract your attention with glossy photos of mouth-watering food. They also make various claims, such as “best in town”, “unlimited”, “bottomless”, “fresh ingredients”, “juicy steaks”, etc, most of which are very hard (if not impossible) to prove or disprove.
ALL of these places are naturally subject to industry’s rules and regulations (health and safety standards being just one of those).
At $3.99/pop place you are likely to find that food on the ad photos has little or no relevance to what’s actually on offer. 
That “juicy steak” is actually something called “chicken fried steak” in US (it’s neither chicken’ nor steak, BTW). 
That meat is actually an un-identifiable “meat product”.
That “fresh ingredients” is mostly referring to the lettuce (which is wilting rapidly) and pasta freshly taken out of the box.
However, the contents of this buffet are definitely “food”, so those who look to fill their stomach on the cheap (and don't mind stale pasta mixed in with 5-days old expired chopped sausage) are lining up.

It is also worth nothing that ambiance of these places is pretty much non-existent: threadbare carpet, old plastic/formica (and often mismatched) furniture, chipped (and often not well washed) china and glassware.
As a matter of course they violate a whole lot of health and safety requirements. One may often find yesterday’s “chicken fried steak” chopped up and added to the pasta with heavy sauce to create a “new” dish (and to mask the odor/taste of the meat going bad).
Yes, in theory, all that shouldn’t be the case: they are a member of the industry and should uphold that industry’s highest standards. But reality is they charge damn little and in order to do so they need to keep the overheads low and to cut corners. This is a fact of life-I neither support nor decry it-just state it.

The reason these places continue to exist is because there are plenty of people who continue going there. They just capitalize on what’s out there: desire to get something for nothing or as little as possible, if nothing is not an option. 
Reality is, these places often have lines of customers wanting to partake. Which is one of the reasons they can’t care less about the customer service. If someone doesn’t like it, tough shit-there is always another client waiting to get in.
If no one (or hardly anyone) patronized those places, they would go out of business or would be forced to spend more money to lift their game. But, of course, it would mean raising their prices.

Yes, a consumer could (and has every right) to complain: on review boards or even to the Health Board and the restaurant association. But at the best the result would be a health inspection.
Even if a place is shut down, they would re-open a few days later and continue in the same vein. Or start at another location with a different name/re-brand (but within the same parameters/framework) due to the reason stated above- ongoing consumer demand.

Then there are places like Sterling Brunch Buffet at Bally’s.

https://www.caesars.com/ballys-las-vegas/restaurants/sterling-brunch#.V37zmLD6jxA


It’s $95/pp, but they offer unlimited lobster tail (as in actual lobster, NOT lobster product or “crab sticks” which contain NO crab), sturgeon caviar, free-flowing Perrier-Jouet champagne just to name a few treats.
Glossy photos in the ads portray exactly the food on offer, ambiance and service are amazing and everything is done to a highest standards.
There are also places that charge somewhere between $25 and $45 for their buffets and they are very good as well: one definitely gets the value for one’s money.

No one is infallible, however. Occasionally even a high-end place slips up. But they do care about their clientele, so they are more likely (in fact, pretty much guaranteed) to try and make it up to the customer: commonly with an offer of a discounted (or in some cases free) next visit.

We are all adults and know what’s what. While it’s perfectly fine to hope for a 5-star quality while paying $3.99, one has to retain a firm grip on reality. And reality is such hopes are unrealistic.
Yes, once in a blue moon it is possible to find a really good steak in one of those low-end buffets. But it usually has to do with the fact that a big casino had a function cancelled and was having a “fire sale” on these steaks, trying to salvage at least the fraction of the cost. And the owner of the  el-cheapo buffet just happened to know a guy in the office there. And voila: a couple of phone calls and a kick-back later the steaks are laid out in the $3.99 place (and many photos are taken for future advertisement purposes).
But how often does this happen? And what are the chances you are going to be in that place during that time? Yeah, exactly.

It is important to know that places who truly care about their business do keep the finger on the pulse of the industry, so to speak. They actively network, participate in open tables and seminars. They also keep a watchful eye on industry’s review sites and online forums.

While a lot of people think that they remain anonymous posting online, it really is no longer true. For various reasons. Terrorist acts of the past years being one. Another has to do with the fact that if someone continually “bags” the industry and it’s participants, the industry gets curious as to whom that person really is-mostly to avoid trouble.
So if someone constantly moans and complains and then publishes a guide for a “new diners” ostensibly to help them improve their experience, where he offers suggestions on how to get “your own back” from the buffets by sneaking in hidden bags to take the food home and wear clothes with hidden lined pockets (to the same end). Or to demand to “sample” the food before paying. Or to blackmail the place with a bad review on DineOut to get a free meal out of them, the industry takes notice.
Especially if said person indiscriminately labels the entire  industry as “deceitful” and “out to fleece a poor consumer”.
No matter how hard this person tries to hide his/her identity, it will be eventually known to restaurateurs. And he/she might find himself blackballed from the nicer (and even not so nice) places. Simply because nobody wants to be taken advantage of and/or have to deal with a difficult person. Or being blackmailed with a bad review.
In fact, once lower end places figure out that someone is trying to “outsmart” them, they will probably come up with more creative ways to get around that-and rip customers off even more.

In conclusion, I want to stress that I most definitely do not condone shoddy practices, deceit or bad customer service. In ideal world every single place will uphold the highest standards. And there would be a range of high-standards places in every price range.
However, we do not live in ideal world. All I am suggesting is to work with reality as we find it, not how we wish it was.
While there are always exceptions, the rule is, you get more if you pay more. You also have a lot more room to complain if you didn’t get it and a lot more likely to get satisfaction.
It’s just the way the cookie crumbles.








Saturday, June 25, 2016

Decisions and consequences

We’ve all done it at least once in our life (many of us done it a few times): made a *very bad decision*.
We’ve done it because we didn’t see any other way or because it seemed the fastest way out of a situation or because we thought we could get away with it.
Sometimes we did it without giving it much thought, other times we did a great deal of thinking.
Either way-the decision was bad.

While we knew that the decision wasn’t the best while we were making it, we all hoped it would fix the immediate problem and once that is done, we could straighten things out and just carry on out merry way.
But it never works this way, does it?
The problem with a *very bad decision* is it never exists in a vacuum, all by itself. It loves company and brings all it’s friends to party: the original *very bad decision* is usually followed by a series of other *bad decisions*, some bigger than others.
*Very bad decision* also has a family, which it’s inseparable with: the consequences. And those just love to breed (almost at the same speed as rabbits): there are consequences born out of the original consequences. In order to deal with those (usually to cover them up), we end up making more bad decisions. It’s a catch 22 and a slippery slope.

The one and only way out of the mess is to bite down, own your bad decision and take responsibility.
Sounds simple, but in reality it could be an insurmountable task for a lot of people. Because it inevitably make you look bad (sometimes very bad). You risk losing friends, lovers, partners, family members forever.
BUT… More often than not laying it all out (no excuses, just naked truth) will make you vulnerable.
While most people don’t like the feeling, it makes others feel empathy and as a result you are more likely to be forgiven (provided your repentance is genuine and you are willing to make amends).
Let’s face it: none of us are demi-Gods. We are just human-shortcomings and all. More to the point, we realize that. So I the back of our minds we generally tend to be forgiving, because we hope that the same  would be extended to us, should we find ourselves in a predicament.
However, when faced with more lies to cover previous lies and attempts to play us, we experience another emotion-resentment (often coupled with it’s good mate disappointment).
No one likes to be taken for a fool. And so we go to the opposite side of the spectrum: revenge, desire to punish. I don’t recommend to ever underestimate what people are capable of when they find themselves lied to, betrayed, swindled, taken advantage of. You might think you know the person and bet on the fact that he/she “is not like that” or “will never do this”, but you shouldn’t. You might find yourself faced with shit raining down your head and no way to stop it.


I’ve made my share of bad decisions in the past. But as I grow older, I’d like to believe I’ve learned from them.
These days I think long and hard before deciding on a course of action (whether it has to do with business, personal or professional life). Partly because I really do believe in Karma (what goes around, comes around, sometimes tri-fold) and have seen her in action too many times throughout my life to ever discount her existence. And partly because I want to consider all the possible outcomes (especially the worst-case scenario) and how they might affect me.
I think about long-term consequences vs. short-term benefits. And I am brutally honest with myself as to whether or not I will be able to live with them.

Fact is, we always have a choice. Always and always. It’s just sometimes we don’t like our choices. But it doesn’t mean they are not there.
Sometimes in order to achieve something (or simply to go forward), we need to step over our pride, or give up some comforts, or things. Or we could chose to scheme and swindle. The choice is there. Think hard before you make it.


Saturday, March 26, 2016

Sex workers price increase *GASP*

Last week I glimpsed some comments in the chat box of an online industry forum. They were made by punters and had to do with a WGs price increases.
One in particular I found interesting: “A girl I see regularly just put her prices up $30. Well, the service is the same, but it’s now $30 more. I am not going back”.

While we all wish that prices of everything stayed the same or, even better, went down, here is the hard cold reality: they go up. All the time. It’s called the cost of living-and it’s continually on the rise.
Price of real estate (and subsequently rent) goes up, price of food and clothing goes up, the cost of travel increases, etc., etc., etc.

Some things are absolutely essential to us (such as shelter/roof over our heads), sustenance (food) and protection from elements (clothing)-we simply would not survive without them. Others are added comforts or luxuries.

Even with necessities, we have a choice of bare minimum or something that’s a bit more appealing, pleasant, comfortable or even luxurious. It all has to do with each individual’s unique personal values and priorities.

One can live in a small room in a share run down house in a far away suburb or choose to spend more money on a nicer place. Some will work 2-3 jobs and pretty much forgo sleep in order to afford a nice place in the “right” part of town.

One can survive on cheap 99 cent/loaf bread and cup-o-noodles or choose to purchase better food. Some will walk instead of buying a car and wear second hand ill-fitting clothes in order to eat better.

One can wear second-hand or donated clothes or spend money on something newer/better fitting/fashionable. Some will live in a shoebox and skip meals in order to wear designer brands.

One can walk or take a public transport to work or chose to invest in a car. For some nothing but a particular make/model will do, even though it means eating cup-o-noodles every day.

But back to the cost of living.
Here are some examples of price increases in the past year that I have noticed (these are goods/services are personally partake in regularly):

-Creamy blue cheese went up by whopping 30%. Galaxy brand specifically thought they were really clever: they actually reduced the size of the package by 50g (from 180g to 130g) and lowered the price by 50 cents, thinking they would fool the consumer into thinking they’ve actually lowered the price.
I don’t know who they thought they were fooling, but it certainly wasn’t me. Other brands are not much better, although they simply raised the price without resorting to deceitful tactics.
Would  I stop buying creamy blue? Nope. I like and enjoy it and that’s all that matters, as I cannot control the price of it.

-Half-tank Gorilla greens green smoothie @TANK went up by 80 cents (from $7.80 to $8.50). I still buy it.

-Habitual Fix salad. They actually have increased the price twice in the past year. Total increase is $1 (which is 10%)

-Sumo Salad-same as above

-Movie tickets. Went up by $2.

-Multi-grain bread. Significant price increase across all brands, with some now charging as much as $6.50 for a fairly small loaf.

-Rent. Despite the fact that I am a model tenant (I always pay on time-like a clock, never complain about anything, never cause any trouble, being commended by both manager and landlord himself on multiple occasions for “keeping the place in such a great shape”) I received a letter few months ago stating that they’ve done a review and my rent is “below the current market”’ so they’ve raised it.
When you think about it, I moved into the place when it was literally brand spanking new (new building, I was one of the first tenants) and now, 3 years later, it’s not new and there is natural wear and tear. So I am actually paying more for a lesser product.
Will I move? Nope. I like the place, it ticks a lot of boxes and, once again, I cannot control the prices.

These are just a few examples-I can go on.

Back to the WGs pricing.
Experienced WGs who treat their business as ...well... business and who’ve been in this business for a while structure their pricing according to several “markers”.

To borrow a quote from a very successful WG “The value for my time isn’t based on an emotional need, but a logical assessment of my business ad what my clients spend on me on average”.

Sex services definitely fall into the “luxury” category. While there is an undeniable need for human companionship and physical intimacy, no one ever died from not being able to have sex with another human being.
There are many ways to satisfy the need:

-One can please himself/herself by hand

-Same as above with use of devices-like Flesh Light for guys and similar

-One can have a one night stand

-One can get a partner

-One can get a sex buddy.

Yes, I understand the above options could be limiting: your one night stand may not be as attractive as you’d like, your sex buddy may not want to engage in all acts you wish, your partner may not be willing to provide sex on demand/on tap or require an emotional investment in exchange for it.
But that’s why sex worker services is a luxury: you get to chose from literally hundreds of options until you find the one that ticks all the boxes for a given moment, then have that person ready for you at the time specified by you, looking their best and treating you like the king of the Universe, happily and enthusiastically engaging in all kinds of sex acts all the while appearing as if they can’t get enough of it.
All that while no effort is required on your part for any sort of emotional commitment-you walk away with nothing but pleasant memories.
That’s what you pay the $$$$ for.

If you’ve been visiting a particular WG for a while, it means you like what you are getting-otherwise you would look elsewhere. Why then stop seeing her just because her prices were adjusted to the cost of living increase? Statement such as “the service is still the same” simply do not make sense in this context. What did you expect? That she now would give you a BJ while doing a hand stand?

And while I am on the subject of pricing: yes, price, as a rule, is a reflection of quality. Yes, of course there are exceptions, but they are just that-exceptions.
It’s simple, really and I can not fathom how some guys don’t see it. Let me break it down:

-You like nice, private, discreet premises? Well, they cost more (in some cases a lot more)

-You enjoy that 1000 count Egyptian cotton bedding? Guess what the price of it is?

-The girl gave you nice unrushed service and it was fairly easy to schedule the time most suitable for you? Well, that’s because she can afford to only see one or two clients a day (due to her price point)

-The girl looked nice, rested, toned, visibly well-maintained? See above+regular expensive beauty treatments and daily exercise routine (which takes time, so connected to seeing less clients)+good diet, which means good *read more expensive* food-like those green smoothies

-The girl had a great selection of expensive lingerie, shoes, clothes and costumes to satisfy your fantasies? I suggest you look online at the prices of brands such as Agent Provocateur, La Perla or even Victoria’s Secret.

-The girl looked like a million bucks (and subsequently made you look good) during your dinner date outing? Consider the price of her clothes and accessories.

-You liked your prolonged sexual adventure in multiple positions (and a couple of “goes”) during your booking and the girl seemed like a “energizer bunny” and didn’t complain about being sore? Again-see the first item.

I am sure you get the idea.

I am not suggesting that lower priced girls give bad service-not at all. Rather I am talking about ALL aspects of the booking and a realistic approach.
There is simply no way a girl could charge $140/hr and operate from a private (as in she is only one there) upmarket CBD apartment with all the luxuries inside, look amazing, well-maintained and see only 1-2 clients a day.

Our industry is often compared to others.
Well, here is a comparison for you: I don’t see any airlines dropping their Business and Fist Class airfares in order to “bring the joys of luxury travel to low wage earners”. Because it’s not a necessity-it’s a luxury.
While it is often imperative for people to get from point A to point B, they can do it in coach. And coach seats often DO go on sale.
If you wish to travel in comfort and style, however, you need to shell out.
And while in theory it is the same plane and it delivers you from the origin to destination in a seat, with entertainment and meal provided, I can assure you that travelling in Business and First is a vastly different experience from travelling in coach ;)





Friday, February 5, 2016

Realistic expectations are the key for a better experience

Our expectations play a very important role in our perception of the quality of the services we receive-in all industries.
One has to be realistic about what to expect in different markets and price ranges of services offered.

I’ll illustrate with examples.

I get my hair done (color,cut,style) every 5-6 weeks. There are literally hundreds of hair salons out there, but they all could be classed into 3 very distinctive groups:

-Low-cost/high volume
-Med-range
-High end

Low cost/high volume ones will often provide quite good end result, but often pay very little mind to decor/ambiance, would be located at somewhat “questionable” areas and will offer no frills (such as complimentary beverages, up-to-date magazines or head massages at the basin)

Mid-range would generally have a better decor and would be located in a nicer areas, would sometimes offer basic beverages and maybe a few other minor frills

High-end salons will look grand. They would aften have additional junior staff to greet you and generally serve you. They will have an array of refreshment on offer (such as barista coffee and even alcohol), sometimes snacks. Decor and fittings are top notch (like crystal chandelliers).

When I am in NZ, I am often time-poor, so getting my hair done becomes a chore. As a result, more often than not, I opt for a basic low price place I had found.

Here’s why: it is close to my apartment (lierally a few minute’s walk).
The lady who runs it (she is a one-woman shop) gets the job done and does it pretty quick (about 1.5 hr total).
No appointment is necessary, as usually I go there when she just opens and I am always able to get serviced.
On a few occasions I popped in during the day, the maximum wait was 20 min (which I spent taking a walk).
She only charges $85 for the works.
The place is tiny and, although clean enough, has definitely seen better days. It is located in a “so-so” part of Auckland (let’s put it that way: I keep my handbag on my lap at all times ;)).
Mags are cheap tabloids and are mostly dated several month prior.
The lady often breaks away from my service to greet/talk to another client or to answer the phone.
She does make me instant coffeee which comes in a chipped old mug :).

HOWEVER,  when I go there, my one and only aim is to get my hair done (and quick). I do NOT expect any pampering and understand that $85 (or less)/pop services will not let the owner buy crystal chandelliers or update the decor.
As a result of these *realistic* expectations I always leave that place very satisfied.

When I am on a holiday, it’s a different game altogether: I have plenty of time and look to be pampered. I am looking for a total experience.
I usually book into upmarket salons.
In Bangkok especially, those are fantastic (BTW, they are decidedly NOT cheap-to get the same service done it costs me about $250 there).
The settings are lavish. The staff is plentiful and is eager to please. They have that month’s Vogue and other premium publications available. Shampoo takes about 15 min due to the extensive head massage given. Often you also receive a foot massage at the same time.
An array of beverages is on offer as well as light snacks. The service is top-notch. The service takes about 3 hours altogether.

In places like that I certainly expect the full attention. I would not be happy if the stylist broke off in the middle of my service or I didn’t receive my massage. Expectations are high-to match the prices charged.
But they are still within reason: I never go to these places expecting something extraordinary: I know what the service entailes and that’s all I want.

It would be quite unreasonable for me to expect Crystal Champagne accompanied by black caviar to be served in such places or having my nails done at no extra charge when all I’ve paid for was hair services.

Another good example are airlines. New Emirates commercial featuring Jennifer Aniston made me think of that.
It starts with Jennifer walking down the isle in what is *obviously* coach class of some airline in a bathrobe with a towel and asking the flight attendants where the shower is. When they inform her that there are no showers, she tells them that  she’d “look silly” dressed like that going to the bar.
Which brings another bout of laughter from the flight attendants because, of course, there is no bar on that plane/airline.

Commercial then segs into Jennifer waking up with a start with what appears to be a Business class seat on Emirates Boeing 380. She proceeds to the bar (which is one of the features of Emirates Business class on that particular equipment) and talks to the bartender about having a “nightmare”.

It’s a cool commercial, but Emirates being a bit coy with it (I don’t really fault them-all advertising is).

For starters, coach class on Emirates (while very nice and better than many other airlines) does NOT offer an access to the bar or the shower.
The bar lounge is a feature of their Business class on Boeing A-380.

The shower is only available to the first class passengers.
First class passengers do not have a separate  bar lounge and if they wish to socialise like that would have to make their way into the Business class.

Emirates First class feautures private individual cabins (as in you actually close the door behind you) with actual beds and large flat-screen TVs.
Once you arrive, you are given the menu, but there are no set meal times: you just ring when you feel like something and they will bring it to you. You can do it as much as you want.

Showers are amazing (I am surprised they weren’t featured in the commercial).
The bathrooms are larger (about twice the size) than the average city apartment bathroom and it’s really cool to take a shower while looking out of the window on the clouds flowing by.
You have to schedule your shower time when you first arrive (so all the first class passengers can have a turn) and are allocated 30 min, which is more than enough.

P.S. Yes, I speak from the first-hand experience-I have flown all classes on Emirates :).

As an example of pricing, while coach seat may cost you about $2500, Business is about $8500 while First is about $12000 (all fares quoted are round trip).

So it would be unreasonable for you to expect ALL the amenities offered by the airline while paying the minimum fare available.
And if you decided to save your pennies and have chosen a bare-bones-bargain-basement-discount airline, you should heed Jennifer’s advice and not expect Emirates quality.

Sex industry is really no different.

Sometimes you just need to “scratch the itch”- be it an early morning boner or an afternoon quickie pressure release. In this case you chose someone who charges little and offers short notice bookings.
All you care about is the result. All the peripheral aspects of the booking (such as ambiance, quality of linen, even how immaculate provider’s hair/make up is) should take a back seat.

I stress that I am certainly NOT suggesting it’s OK for the provider to NOT deliver what’s advertised: if she claims to offer FS for X amount of money, you should definitely expect a BJ and penetration to take place.

All I am saying that if you are paying $90/hr for FS, you probably shouldn’t expect to be admitted into a lavish penthouse apartment and have your tryst on 1000 count Egyptian cotton linen.

Yes, yes, I hear the voices: “Oh, but there are exceptions”. Yes, there are. There are always exceptions.
But as a rule of thumb, hardly anyone who can afford a rent on a penthouse apartment would charge $90/hr.

My advice: be realistic. If you go in with reasonable expectations (based on price and offerings), you have far more chance to be happy with your experience.

If all you wanted was a skilled sensual massage with a happy ending and you got at a bargain basement price, how important were all the “periherals”, really?

If, on the other hand, you wanted a full experience, then perhaps you should have saved for a place that is clearly the top notch (based on the photos, the wording of the ad and yes, the prices).
And you have every right to complain if the experience was not delivered to you.

It is unproductive to keep hoping that $90/punt will feature ALL bells and whistles AND provide an enthusiastic mind-blowing GFE with immaculately groomed, highly educated and articulate provider.

Same as hoping that a top-notch highly qualified, skilled and sought after web designer will create a state-of-the-art animated web site for you for $200. And include free domain name and hosting for a year with that.

My motto: have a firm grip on reality. At all times. It makes life surprisingly easier :)

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Time to say Good bye-my last year in New Zealand (and touring schedule)

This year marks my last year in New Zealand.

I am very grateful for a chance to get to know this amazing country, but my various ventures call for me to move back to US.


I have penciled in my move for Feb-March 2017-about a year from now.


While I will not be doing a grand “go away” tour (as I don’t really tour these days), I am planning to visit some cities before I leave-to get a chance to see some of my favorite clients for the last time and to finally meet those who had me on their “to do” list ;)


Below is an approximate schedule for my travels. Please contact me in advance to secure the day/time/duration that suits you the best.


-Mid Feb-mid March- overseas

-April 4- April 8- Napier-completed

-May 8- June 10 - overseas

-Late August-Mid Sept- overseas

Oct 3- Oct 7: Palmerston North- completed

Oct 19-Nov 6-overseas

-WELLINGTON trip is confirmed: Nov 27-Dec 3-completed

-Dec 27-Dec 30)- Rotorua for 3 days

-Jan 11-Jan 14: Dunedin

-I will NOT be visiting CHRISTCHURCH due to hostile environment created by some natives of that city



As many of you know, I pride myself in high work ethic standards and strive to deliver the best experience for your money. I appreciate and respect your time and the money you spend with me greatly.


Please note that I travel with a basic set of work clothes which definitely and always include stockings, high heels, a garter belt, one corset and a lingerie set. Regrettably, I am unable to carry my entire *very extensive* wardrobe and props with me on my travels.

So if you have a special request or particularly like any piece of clothing, please let me know in advance, before  I left for your destination.


I will ask for deposits for my bookings: while I appreciate that life is ever changing, *non-refundable and significant* expenses that inevitably come with touring are not.


Deposits are:


$50 for 1 hr bookings,

$80 for 90 min bookings,

$100 for 2 hour bookings,

$150 for 3 hours bookings

$200 for any bookings longer than 3 hours


Deposits are non-refundable in case of cancellation on your part (for any reason) and are fully refundable  in case of cancellation on my part.


Please understand that in some cases I might ask for references from other escorts or well-known agencies before I accept your booking. This is done to minimise fake bookings and timewasters and maximise the chances of a better experience for you.


FAQs:


1. I don’t see my city/town on your list. Does it mean you won’t be touring here?
-Yes, it does. There are various reasons for this, none of them mean that your city/town is not a desirable destination.


2. But you will miss out on my money then.
-I understand and accept it.


3. I don’t want to pay a deposit, but I still want to see you.
-That’s fine. And I would love to meet you. Please contact me when I am at your locale and I try my hardest to fit you into my schedule. However, please note that for some desrinations I will not be advertising while I am there-it would be privately arranged bookings only.


4. Will you be offering any specials at any time?
-No. I do not offer specials outside of the consessions already built into my pricing schedule.


5. What about coffee dates? Will you be offering those on tour?
-Touring tends to be quite busy and leaves no time for coffee dates. However, you can book one as part of a longer package.


6. I really wanted to meet you, but am unable to see you at any of the locations you’ll be visiting or at your base in Auckland
-I am very happy to make private arrangements for a one-on-one visit. Please check out my “all-day clock-free package” on my personal website www.yanatherussiancourtesan.com (click on “Packages” tab).
You can book that (plus my travel expences) and I am all yours exclusively for the entire day!


I am very excited about seeing my old friends and meeting new ones during my last year in New Zealand.

Thank you all for your ongoing patronage.