Monday, July 27, 2015

Insidious nature of some online sex industry forum comments

Online sex industry forums are the reality of life. They are everywhere. They have changed the landscape of sex industry forever.

Many a blog post have been written on the subject (here are a couple):

This post is about insidious comments which pop up intermittently. These could be authored by both clients and WGs, as we are all humans and sometimes a slight (whether real or imagined) cause us to retaliate.
I saw this post a couple of days ago:
About a year ago, I approached a lady (albeit from another part of NZ) by text for a booking after doing some well thought out research. She would have been in the complete opposite situation to you - she was experienced and well-reviewed on here. I was up front and honest by saying I was a member of AF and to my surprise, she didn't think she would live up to my expectations and pretty much turned me down without the chance of a booking. I was absolutely astounded and also ruined my perception of this lady. She had a similar view where she wasn't keen on having her abilities and prowess plastered over a forum, which ironically gave her a decent reputation. Because I didn't get a chance to book, I was more than happy to discuss the option of not reviewing her to make her feel comfortable. I'll never know now.. and yes she still advertises on NZG. Go figure.

This post was not about me or directed at me, but I can venture an educated guess as to who the guy was talking about. That particular WG is my friend and I feel compelled to provide some background for this.
While not telling un-truths, the guy is twisting facts just a bit to suit his agenda.

First of all, the lady in question was around long before the forum was a twinkle in its Daddy’s eye (literally). She worked hard to build her reputation by providing a consistent and outstanding service and was well-known around these parts and highly sought after (via word of the mouth, as the custom was before internet forums). So it was not a forum that “gave her a decent reputation”, but her integrity.

When the forum came to be, this lady made an executive decision to never be part of it for various reasons, one of them being “she wasn't keen on having her abilities and prowess plastered over a forum”.

 She is extremely intelligent and knew that opting for “no review” list (DND-“Do Not Discuss”) might affect her business adversely, so remained open to reviews, but made it clear to her clients that she’d rather her name wasn’t brought up on the forum. I stress that she didn’t go on DND, which means that if someone wanted to post a review about her (good or bad) they were ultimately free to do so.
Most of her clients really appreciated her service and wanted to continue to partake in it, so they respected her wishes.
Some new clients didn’t know about her desire to stay away from the forum’s spotlight so some reviews of her (all glowing) did appear.

However, every time someone written a review, there would be a follow-up post by one of this WG’s regular clients jokingly saying that she may not want to see OP again after that (posting a review).

So… Someone who claims to have done a “well thought out research” (read “searched the forum for reviews”) would certainly see these comments (there were plenty) and get the idea.
If this person genuinely wanted to experience her service and enjoy her company, he would simply book her as “John Doe”, never mention the forum and never review her.
His claim that he “was up front and honest by saying I was a member of AF makes me wonder-why was it necessary?
He claims “I was more than happy to discuss the option of not reviewing her to make her feel comfortable”.
But why should it even be a subject of discussion? Generally, someone pays an escort to enjoy her/his company, intimacy and sex, NOT with a singular purpose to review said escort.
Sure, if you got ripped off or the service was terrible, review away, but this particular lady had fantastic feedback and the guy claimed to research her extensively (and the assumption is, he chose her because she was pretty much a “sure bet”).

I can totally understand why the girl turned him down: guys who bring up their forum membership right away during initial inquiry are often aiming to get free extras: like substantial extra free time in a booking or services not advertised or promoted by a particular WG, etc. (read the linked blog posts above for more examples).

I know no one likes to be rejected. I don’t-it’s not a good feeling. Not at all. So I do understand why this guy felt slighted. However, as he is a clever and educated man (judging by his very carefully crafted post), I would also expect him to reflect on that exchange and realise why the rejection happened in the first place.
Yet a year later, he still tries to throw a pot shot at the girl. While his post appears neutral on the surface, it clearly has a negative connotation. His comment “this ruined my perception of this lady” clearly infers negativity in the context he provided.
I stress that he had never met this lady and never wasted any time or money.

While I understand his feelings on some level, I also expect some sort of level thinking from people before they place posts on the forums that can effect someone’s reputation and income.

For instance, about 3 years ago a guy contacted me asking for a 3 hr booking. He claimed that he had seen me twice while I worked for an agency in another city. While I am not disputing his claim (it was a very busy agency), I couldn’t for the life of me remember him.
While he was nice enough, during the intercourse he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled really hard and at length (not just a quick yank). It was so hard that it drew tears. When he finally let go, his hand came away with more than a couple of my hairs in it.
Later he commented on how I “could take a good hair pull” and how “not many girls could”.
During the second round he repeated the exercise with even more force.
Apart from this episode, the rest of the booking was fine.
I am pretty sure he didn’t attempt this during his previous appointments with me at the agency (I would certainly have remembered)-one of the reasons being that agency had thin walls and doors and at least 4-5 people present at all times.
I also know that he didn’t engage in this behaviour with some other girls that he booked (I’ve talked to some of them). So either he thought I could take it because I was a strong person, or he got a word about my commitment to providing excellent service (I stress that I do not tolerate obvious and deliberate abuse, but do endure some things for the sake of providing a service-the difference is subtle, but it is there), or he just wanted to take his frustrations out on me-I will never know.
What I do know is that I did not “blacklist” him to other girls and I certainly did not blasted him on the forum. Upon careful reflection I came to the conclusion that the behaviour had to do with me specifically and was not systematic. I also own up to the fact that I could have made a fuss about it when it was happening (I didn’t for various reasons, him being a forum member not the least of them), so I felt I couldn’t in all honesty berate him publicly when I didn’t address it in private first.
I do expect similar consideration from others.

These kinds of insidious posts are not symptomatic only as punter/WG interaction. Some WGs engage in clever putting down of other WGs under the guise of either “support” or “expressing their general opinion” about various subjects. I can never understand why girls do this, but human soul is a mystery.
While I let this types of posts slide, I don’t want people to think that they go unnoticed. And I have a very good memory :).

You know what they say: treat other the way you want to be treated yourself and world will be a kinder place.

No comments:

Post a Comment