Wednesday, January 21, 2015
It's not what we say, it's how we say it
What we say can be met with polar opposite reactions based on the style of delivery.
Don't believe me? Let me illustrate with this *pure fictional* example
Imagine a WG posts the following account of a booking gone wrong on the industry forum:
I was contacted for an appointment by a gentleman via text. Although he used heavy text-speak and terms such as "hun" instead of my name and "Hey" in a way of a greeting and his inquiry was a bit abrupt, he sounded OK and I have accepted the booking.
When he turned up 10 min later than appointed time which he originally requested, it became apparent that some sort of manual labour is how he earns his living: he obviously just got off work, his clothes were heavily stained with mud, oil and sweat, he wore mud-splattered work boots and emanated quite heavy body odour. His hands had dirt particles clearly visible under his (untrimmed) nails. This man clearly worked hard all day. He appeared to be of a middle age or slightly older, heavy-set and although possibly not un-attractive under different circumstances (when he is presented better) really looked somewhat worth for wear.
When he greeted me with "Heya,you look hot" and attempted to grab my behind and a kiss on the mouth barely after clearing the threshold, I pulled away slightly and with a smile said "Hi. Nice to meet you. Come on over and I'll show you through to the shower".
"I don't need no shower" was his reply as he grabbed hold of my breasts and tried to pull me close. His breath wafted through and it was not fresh.
I tried to playfully pull away and said with a smile "You worked hard all day, wouldn't you like a nice hot shower to wash it all away?"
Instead of answering, he pulled me in again and attempted to push his hand between my legs.
I twisted away and again suggested he makes his way to the bathroom to freshen up. He refused and I knew that I simply won't be able to deliver the service he is paying for and is expecting-not in the state he was.
I didn't want him to feel ripped off, so I told him that I won't be able to continue with the booking. At this point no money has exchanged hands and I did not request any. I simply opened the door and bid him good bye.
He left, but 5 min later I received a text from him laden with expletives. I did not reply.
The incident left me feeling a bit shaken.
This style of story telling will most likely incite a great deal of support towards the WG-from both male and female participants and the guy will receive none or very little.
It relays the facts without editorial comments, is non-judgemental and presents no assumptions.
Here's the same exact story told in a different manner:
So this fuckwit who can't even write properly books half an hour. I thought he was a moron, but what the fuck, money is money, so I took the booking.
He turns up late and looks like shit: filthy clothes and shoes, smells like a sewer. Must be a high-school drop-out, seeing how digging ditches is the only job he could find, the dimwit. Fat old ugly fuck, too.
Grabs my ass right off the bat, asshole. I tell him to get his nasty ass to the shower and he refuses. What an idiot!
I tell him I won't be fucking him if he doesn't shower and he gets in my face. Who the fuck he thinks he is, c...t??!! C...ts like him I wouldn't touch with a six foot pole in real life, he should be grateful I am even considering letting him touch me. And I wouldn't kiss his nasty-ass mouth no matter how much he pays me!
I tell him to get the fuck out and he does, then sends me this nasty-ass text 5 min later calling me dirty ho and stuff...
WTF??!! People like him should just crawl back in the shithole they came from. No woman would ever fuck him!
This style will most likely produce a negative reaction towards the WG, especially from male part of the audience.
The sympathy would lay with the guy, because the WG comes across as judgemental, client-negative, makes a lot of assumptions in her account and uses the language that is generally perceived as off-putting.
Internet is everywhere these days. People do form their opinions of someone based on how that person comes across.
Yes, one can like or dislike someone they have never actually met based on their online comments (just look at the multi-billion internet dating industry). It is not irrational or illogical. Just ask WGs who actively participate in industry forums: some guys spend a great deal of time and money (SIM cards, burner phones) just to mess up some WG's day simply because they didn't like something she said on the forum ;).
So, boys and girls, think before you type ;)