Thursday, August 21, 2014

The difference between “coffee date”, “dinner date” and “booking” in commercial sex service environment.

 I gave my pricing a lot of thought and came up with the structure that is, in my opinion, fair and enables a client to pick and chose just the right service (or combination of services).
However, apparently some guys are confused.

So here’s clarification:

“Coffee date”: pretty much what it sounds like. Having a coffee in the morning or during the day in a cafe (public place) while dressed in appropriate day time street clothes. 
Coffee dates are designed for those clients who wish to talk (usually about things they cannot discuss with anyone else due to various circumstances) or want to get to know me a bit before deciding on a booking. There is no touching of any kind or any explicit sexual conversation. Certainly no sex is involved. 
*Very low*price tag of $50/hr reflects all of the above.

“Coffee date” is different from a “booking” which takes place inside my premises (or client’s hotel room in case of outcall) where I am scantily clad in lingerie (or whatever outfit client requested) for his visual stimulation, client is able (and very much encouraged) to touch me (or himself) at anytime and there is no limit to explicit sexual conversation. Role playing could be part of the booking (if client so desires).
Different clients have different needs, so although complimentary refreshments, kissing, DFK, DATY and full sex are all definitely the elements available (and are included in stated rates), some clients chose not to partake in some (or all) of those. It is their decision and does not affect stated rates, as I’ve calculated those carefully based on time, expenses (on my part), market comparison and physical and emotional energy required for the booking. 
Simply put, I would not be willing to see clients for intimate services for less than my published rates.

“Dinner dates”. I offer these in recognition of the fact that many of my clients want to start multi-hour evening bookings with those. Again, I do so because I endeavor to be fair in my pricing.
For dinner dates I wear alluring evening wear (unless client stipulated otherwise). Conversation could be a bit more flirty, some touching and mild PDA is common (unless client instructs otherwise). Price tag is $100.
However, if you desire to boost your adrenaline and planning some daring acts (sex in a public bathroom, for example), this will be classed as a “booking” and charged at appropriate rate or higher-due to increased risk factor such as arrest for indecent exposure. Plans like this should be discussed in advance and agreed upon (as I may not wish to provide such services).

Attempts to play with my pricing structure in order to gain cost advantage are not appreciated.

Examples of such attempts: 

-Booking 1 hr dinner @$100/hr with 1 hr FS @$200/hr to follow and rushing through dinner in 1/2hr in an attempt to get 90 min FS at cut rate.

-Attempting to book a “coffee date” inside my premises requesting that I wear lingerie

-Attempting to secure a booking of unspecified length (saying you want to “chat a bit” before booking) and for unspecified remuneration

I research the market constantly. I firmly believe that I offer extremely competitive rates (in fact, some of my clients think my rates are low with the view of VFM) for all that I offer inclusive of those rates.

Kindly do not insult me by attempting to low-ball or “outsmart” me. If you wish to make a booking that combines several of my services, please describe what you desire (including specific length of time for each segment) and ask me for the total price.

Thank you for your patronage. I know there are a lot of choices out there and I appreciate you choosing to spend your money with me.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

How to get the most out of your hooker-importance of structuring initial inquiry in the right fashion

Just like guys often gauge WG’s attitude via phone conversation, many ladies “filter” potential; clients based on those. 

One of the best and the most efficient ways to word your initial inquiry (whether phone, text or email” is this:
“Hi, Jane. I saw your ad on “XYZ”. I would like to schedule *duration* booking on *day/date* sometime between 1pm and 3pm. Let me know if you are available. Thanks, John
Please note all the words are spelled fully and no text speak is used.

Here are the reasons why:

-Greeting (Hi, Hello, Good morning, etc): simply because it’s polite. WGs worldwide without exception prefer polite respectful clients. Clients who send messages like “Wen you free next” often find themselves ignored

-Using WG’s name: let’s WG know that she is the desired target for you. Generic messages are often a sign of mass-texters-guys who send the same text to several WGs simultaneously and then decide whom they want to book. While there is nothing particularly wrong with this practice, guys like this tend to cancel (often in the last minute) after making a confirmed booking if their more desired WG or someone with a lower price offer suddenly became available. A lot of WGs prefer to not take their chances with mass-texters.

-Specifying where you saw WG’s ad: many WGs track responses for different ads/advertising mediums. Advertising is not cheap and even free directories require time investment to create/maintain ads.
Specifying where you saw the ad also let’s WG know what information you already have, as this is how many filter out timewasters (guys who call just to chat/wank and ask questions the answers to which are clearly stated in the ad)

-Specifying desired day/time/duration for a booking: most WGs work by appointment.  It is easy and quick for them to look at their diary and see what blocks of time are available. Asking WG “how her day is” and “what bookings she has” is unproductive waste of time (also often a sign that a caller is timewaster/phone wanker), as she could be reciting her entire diary to you while you only had a specific “window” to see her and that window is not available.

Specifying duration could mean the difference between getting and not getting a booking: sometimes shorter time blocks are available, while longer ones are not.

Asking “when is your next available” without specifying desired duration falls in the same category (unproductive),as often times she could see you for half an hour but not for an hour in her next available time block and you are dead set on an hour booking.

-Polite sign off with “thank you”: see the “greeting” explanation.

-Stating your name (whatever name you chose to give, it actually doesn’t matter): gives WG a chance to address you properly. Personally, I am not a fan of addressing people (especially those I don’t know) as “babe”, “hun”, “dear”, “darling”, “sweetheart”, etc

-Spelling the words and using proper grammar/syntax: a lot of WGs filter based on this. In this day and age of smart phones and cheap phone plans there is absolutely no reason for text speak-it sends wrong message.

Once WG confirmed that she is available to see you at your desired time (and for desired duration) it’s time to ask whatever questions you might have pertinent to your booking and state your requests (specific outfits, props, activities, etc).
It is not a good idea to spring unexpected fantasies on a WG after you’ve arrived for your booking (even if she offers those in her ad), as many don’t work where they live and may not have required outfits, etc with them.

If you have a scenario or a specific way you want the booking to flow, state so during initial inquiry: WGs are not mind readers and one person’s idea of “foot fetish” (just an example) might vary greatly from another’s.

Try to give as much detail as you can about how you envision the booking. Avoid ambiguous  statements such as “I want you to dominate me” (again, just an example), as this means a lot of things to a lot of people and you may get a lot more than what you’ve bargained for or don’t get what you wanted at all.

Other common sense items: 

-Make your inquiry from a cell phone with unblocked number: many girls will only give you their apartment/room number once you have arrived at the location, so you will need your cell phone.
Blocked numbers are widely used by time-wasters, so most WGs will not accept a booking from those.

-Don’t ask WG to “squeeze” you in when they’ve told you the time is unavailable. While this tactic may initially work (the girl will buckle under your pressure), ultimately it will lead to disappointing experience for you as they will be stressed, thinking about their next booking possibly arriving early and trying to get you out as soon as possible.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Just how badly do you want it? (Put your money where your mouth is :))

I’ve lived in US for most of my life, so got quite used to the fact that people are willing to pay extra to get things the really want. Or to get them NOW (or whenever suits THEM). Or to adjust service/merchandise to their specs.

New Zealand is very different in that respect.
Here consumers are generally very price conscious and seemingly unwilling to up the ante to get what they want when they want and in accordance to their specific desires. Rather they attempt to  get as much as they possibly can while paying as little as they can possibly get away with.

Case in point.

These days sex work is my only employment. I do it full-time.
This was a conscious choice I’ve made about 3 years ago. In the past sex work was always a second job for me-I maintained “day” job at all times (quote marks are used because a lot of those jobs-like waitressing and restaurant management actually involved a lot of night time work).
I’ve had many “day” jobs (some better than others), but most demanded that I adjust my schedule/plans constantly in order to be successful/keep a job/make money (in some cases quite a lot of money).

For instance, when I worked in hospitality, I was often called in to work on my days off or asked to stay and work a double shift: because someone did not turn up, because restaurant suddenly got “swamped” by unexpected volume of customers, etc.

When I was a manager, it was even worse: I was called at all times of day and night every time something happened and it was written in my employment contract that I couldn’t leave the restaurant if it was “busy” (regardless of the fact that my 10-hour shift might have been finished when that happened). Obviously, I was on salary :/.

When I sold real estate, in order to maintain a successful edge among other 17,000 licensed Realtors (not to mention unlicensed ones)in Vegas, I had to answer my phone at all hours (often in the middle of the meal or way past my bedtime).

When I owned a property management Co., I was expected to be on-call 24/7 by both tenants and landlords. I was expected to take action immediately upon receipt of a call: like the time tenants called at 11:20pm in July in Las Vegas and reported broken Air Conditioning unit: I was expected to place them elsewhere for the night and have the unit repaired ASAP.

The other time I actually was forced to cut short my honeymoon (true story) because there was a fire in the unit NEXT to the one under my management and tenant was claiming smoke contamination. Landlord was living out of state and both parties demanded I get there immediately and deal with the problem.

So it was with great joy that I’ve finally made sex work my ONLY job (after years of hard work) when I’ve reached the level of financial security that afforded me this option.

Sex work affords me freedom and flexibility along with financial means to enjoy my life. I am one of those people who like to have some sort of a plan for every day, week, month, year.
It doesn’t mean I can’t be spontaneous, but generally I plan at least several days ahead. It could be loose plan and mutable to a point, but there is always a plan.

I also relish my early nights and enjoy 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
There is scientific proof that our health very much depends on how structured our habits and environment are: it is advisable going to bed around the same time every night, get at least 8 hours of good sleep, eat at certain times and get regular exercise.
Ever since I’ve switched to sex work only, I’ve maintained my lifestyle according to guidelines above and I am here to tell you that it is definitely true.
Structured environment promotes a great overall well-being and some things just fall into place once it’s been happening for a while.
I very much enjoy and appreciate this lifestyle after years and years of shift work and being yanked out of bed/from the dining table/holiday to cater to customers.

I list my business hours clearly in my ad: 10am-8pm 7 days a week (which allows great deal of flexibility for potential client). I specify that advanced appointment is required.
This has to do with the fact that although I appreciate that some people always do things in the spur of the moment, I would not let this affect MY life.
After all, sex workers are abundant in NZ: with prostitution decriminalised over a decade ago, punters are spoiled for choices.

Despite being very clear with regards to my business hours and booking procedure, I often get calls for “now” bookings and after hours calls. When told that I can’t accommodate them, some guys get petulant, others ask to “squeeze” them in and others make “fake” bookings for the future date (I am assuming to “teach me a lesson”?).

Thing is, I am not trying to be bitchy. I have thought carefully about how I want to structure my life and adjusted my business to fit that structure.
It’s not much of a lifestyle, if you are chained to your phone, afraid to make any plans or even leave the house just in case a punter rings and wants you “now”.

Often times guys assume I mean I am booked solid when I refuse their booking and give me sceptical remarks. Well, we all know what the first part of the word “assumption” is... LOL..

Here are some reasons I would reject a booking:

-Normally by 5:30pm I have finalised my plans for the evening-whatever they might be. It might be a booking. It might be a dinner with a friend. It might be a movie. It might be theatre. Or I might just want to relax in bed in my PJs with cold cream/mask on my face.
Whatever my plans are, I will not break them because some punter suddenly got an urge. Apart from the fact that I would never stand my friends up, I wouldn’t want to lose the money I’ve paid for tickets (in case of movie/theatre) or miss the play I wanted to see.
Also, abruptly yanking oneself out of *whatever* state and re-gearing for a completely different one has adverse effect on health and well-being (this is scientifically proven fact-has to do with chemicals body produces and stress inflicted)

That is why I specify that all evening bookings have to be made in advance during the day: so I can plan and prepare accordingly. Also, as I strive to deliver top notch service, if a booking is multi-hour and going into late evening, I won’t take any bookings during the day and will get plenty of rest-so I am fresh for the client.

-Short-notice day time bookings. I appreciate quite a few people unable to make their “entertainment” plans too far in advance, so try to get things done around the house/work online/make my phone calls during the day, so I am around the house and can get ready for a booking in a reasonable amount of time. I don’t however sit around in my corset, stockings and heels perfectly made up with hair immaculately done and candles lit and soft music playing waiting for punter come calling.

I go about my day and do what I need to do. Sometimes client’s call finds me away from the house with 20-30 minutes needed just to get back (not to mention getting ready).

That’s why I make myself available 7 days a week-a trade off of sorts for the need for advanced booking.

Having said all that let me return to the first two paragraphs of this post.

Like most people, I could be swayed by money (not to do ANYTHING, mind, but to make it more attractive for me to consider changing my plans/schedule).

In the past I’ve had several clients who had seen me before call after hours and ask for short notice bookings (then and there). Circumstances were different for each one of them: some found themselves at loose ends in CBD and others had a tough day at work and needed release.

Obviously, those gents called me because they liked what they saw/experienced in the past: combination of presentation, service, ambiance and availability of alternative services. They could have easily called someone else who actually advertises working late or drop by one of the city’s parlours, but they called me.
I am guessing because they would rather have unrushed experience in a plush environment on 1000 count linen with all the extras that I offer included instead of “hit-or-miss” punt possibly somewhere with thread bare linen and buzzer going off at 50 min mark.
Yet it never occurred to them to offer more money in order to get what they wanted when they wanted.

While I definitely won’t be interested in getting out of bed and out of my comfy PJs and apply make-up, do my hair, dress-up, set up the premises after hours for my regular price (my rates are very, very reasonable for all that I offer), I might be tempted to do so for extra $50-$100 (depending on the hour). It is not a guarantee, but it would definitely make client’s odds better.

When I want something, the first thing that comes to MY mind is to offer more money in order to get it.

Once in Melbourne, when faced with completely sold out (all 6 weeks of it) play with Geoffrey Rush at MTC, I’ve paid usher $50 to stand at the back so I could see it.

When I see several things I like in different menu items in the restaurant, I ask for those to be served to me in one dish immediately followed by “I’ll pay extra”-I am very seldom refused.

While living in Tokyo, I was caught in downpour in the middle of the city and no cabbie wanted to stop. By holding out 3 fingers (a sign for willingness to pay ripple the amount of fair) I was able to get a cab in less than 2 minutes.
It works, as it always had: money does help things along J:).

Just a quick note in parting: offering more money to secure an appointment outside WG’s normal days/hours should be voluntary on client’s part (I would never suggest it at inquiry) and genuine-meaning he shouldn’t expect longer service because he paid more. Additional amount is to compensate for inconvenience: nothing more and nothing less.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Leverage (the balance of power)

Commercial sex transaction seems straight forward (in theory at least): client pays money in exchange for company/sex. Provider delivers. End of story.
In reality, more often than not sex is about the balance of power and commercial sex is no exception.

The purpose of this post is not to examine the reasons for the above, but to give few tips to providers as to how to avoid undesirable situations.

I will give few examples.

Example 1: Client attempts to bargain down the price (provided your prices are clearly stated in your ad/website).

I realise in some cases WG just might be bored and figures “Oh, why not-I am not doing anything anyway”, but the client will inevitably perceive your acceptance of his low-ball offer as a sign that you are desperate for money. This will automatically put you on the offensive-the balance of power has shifted in his favour before he even set a foot in your door.

As a rule clients like that (price hagglers) are boundary-pushers in general. There is no telling what they might attempt in the room.

He could turn up with even less money than agreed upon citing “Unable to take out more from ATM” and count on the fact that you’ve lost time waiting for him/getting ready (and possibly turn down other bookings), so will try to salvage what you can.

Or he could turn up and threaten to walk hoping for further discount.

Or he could try and stretch paid-for time for longer. Or attempt sex acts/activities you don’t offer. Or if you do offer some extras, he’d try to get those free of charge.

Personally, I turn down all low-ballers and ask them not to contact me again-saves a lot of stress and aggravation.

Example 2: Client asks for a late night booking.

There are few legitimate scenarios for this: business client arriving in your city really late and planning his fun in advance or someone who routinely finishes work late and cannot punt during the day. In both of those cases legitimate clients would be happy to offer a deposit.

However, some guys schedule late bookings to take advantage of you.

-They might hope you might be intoxicated and try to get away with sex acts/activities you don’t normally offer

-They might try to low-ball you (saying things like “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise I’ve run such a large tab at dinner/pub and this is all I have left-do you want it or not)  betting on the fact that you’ve spent all this time waiting for this booking and will accept whatever amount to make up for it

-They might hope theirs will be your last booking of the day (in fact many ask for just that-last booking and they would attempt to stay longer (in some cases much longer) than the time they’ve paid for (some bring along a bottle of wine to achieve just that-a whole evening for the price of one hour)

Example 3: Client makes multi-hour booking well in advance, then proceeds to use it as a leverage to engage with you via text, email, phone calls, effectively getting a lot of social interaction for free.

Set the limits and boundaries straight away and make it clear that you will cancel the booking in case of excessive/unnecessary communication.

Example 4: During the booking client positions himself so he could have full or partial (rubbing his uncovered penis on your vagina) uncovered sex with you if opportunity presents itself.

I recommend avoiding those positions altogether, as men are generally much bigger and stronger than women and you won’t be able to do anything if he suddenly thrusts.
Be in control of the room at all times without making it obvious-subtly shift yourself in positions where you can move away from the client freely at any time.

Example 5: Client positions himself to be able to penetrate you anally while claiming it was “an accident”-when he is on the top having your legs over your head.

While this position is OK, avoid letting him thrust wildly or firmly cup back of his thigh/buttock with your hand, hence preventing him from swinging all the way out.

Example 6: Client adamantly refuses any lube.

Guys who do this usually hope that condom will break (as is often the case without lube) and they will end up having unprotected sex. Some will actually rub their erect condomed penis all over your pelvic area (while kissing you and holding their body tight to theirs) hoping the breakage will occur even before they enter you and will go unnoticed.

Example 7: Client announces that he is a member of online review forum as soon as he arrives.

Again, this is done to shift the power in their favour. They wield possible bad review over your head and might attempt sex acts/activities you don’t normally offer, or to receive those free of charge, or get a discount. In some cases they will flat out ask for a FREE booking in exchange for a “really good review” on the forum.

Example 8: Client asks for a block of time you don’t offer in your ad/website: for example 45 min.

In some cases these are the guys who punt a lot and figured out exactly how long it takes for them to do what they want to do and not willing to pay for any time above and beyond that. These guys are fine-there is nothing wrong with knowing your timing.

A lot of times, however, guys who ask for this are the ones who hope to get an hour for the *lesser* price of 45 min: they will ask for a second shot on a 30 -35 min mark and bet on the fact that you will “finish the job” and won’t kick them out of bed with erect penis when 45 min are up. They will also say things like “I am almost there”, “Just another minute and I will come” when it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Example 9: Client arrives bearing gifts disproportionate to the price/duration of the booking.

Although it seems like a lovely gesture on the surface of it, beware. There are no free lunches. Ever.

While a bottle of wine, flowers, small lingerie item or chocolates are perfectly fine, very expensive and extravagant gifts are never a good sign. Usually you will be expected to deliver a lot more than you’ve agreed upon OR the guy is looking for a mistress/girlfriend.

I would thank the gentleman politely and explain that you can’t accept such expensive gift.

Bottom line: be constantly aware of other people’s motivations.  In our line of work too many things can go wrong very fast. There are too many unstable/unhinged people who view sex workers as an easy target to feed whatever demons possess them.

Stay alert and in control of the situation at all times (without making it obvious to the client) and try to prevent any escalation of negativity. 

Always have a support system. These are the people you can call who will come to your rescue immediately.

 In the absolute worst case scenario be prepared to run out of the room/apartment/house leaving the client behind. So have a robe and your phone somewhere near the door at all times.

Most of the time industry is great: fun and rewarding. It is a handful of bad apples that spoil it for everyone.