Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Forever and ever? Or just for a short time?

Relationships are hardly ever simple and straightforward. More often than not they are complicated and messy.

As we get older we pick our partners more carefully, but no matter how hard one tries, there is no fool-proof formula.

Life is full of big and small disappointments and just when you think you’ve seen it all it throws you a curved one.

We all have in our minds things that are important in future partners. Some are at the top of the list and others are negotiable.
Everyone wants to have a good, solid mutually nurturing and supportive relationship. Everyone wants to have their needs met.
Important thing is to figure out whether you are able to meet the needs of your partner consistently.
That’s when it’s important to be honest with yourself.

Sometimes we get so taken with the idea of a relationship, we push all the little doubts and niggles to the back of our heads and try to make everything fit.
Trouble is, we are who we are. People don’t change. It has been scientifically proved that human beings can change (their core values, their view of life,etc) up to the age 24. After that it’s a done deal.
People can change for a time, adapt temporary, but it doesn’t last: we slip back into our persona sooner rather than later. 
You can’t change a person, nor should you want to. Be with someone you can respect and like being around. It doesn’t matter if you don’t care much for their friends or hobbies, but you have to like the way they view the world in order for the relationship to endure.
The trick is to find someone kind and fair who shares your values.

If you have to hide any side of you from your partner (regardless of how noble your intentions are), relationship will eventually become too tedious to carry on.

Trouble is, a lot of people want to put their best foot forward during the honeymoon stage of a relationship and make a great deal of effort to come across in the most flattering light in order to win the object of their attraction over.
Don’t get me wrong-I don’t advocate not making any effort. Just make sure in doing so you are not hiding/downplaying things/interests/points of view/habits that are essential to you as a person.
Because the only dead end that road leads to is disappointment and disenchantment.

Another side of the coin is that sometimes people are deliberately playing into your likes/dislikes in order to gain your trust and take advantage of you.

Quite a few people out there are well educated and read up on various psychological techniques (internet provides unlimited research material). They can figure out your “buttons” pretty quickly and push them to play you like a violin, all the while using you for their gain.
They will tailor their life stories to fit the profile you are seeking and tell you all the things you long to hear. And you won’t know what hit you until they’ve done with you.

This happened to me many times over and although I do learn my lessons, some people are pretty clever and conniving.
Funny thing is, in most cases I would have given them what they wanted had they simply told me the truth-no intricate web of lies was needed.

These days I stick with friends and acquaintances that are tried and true. Actions speak louder than words. Yes, we disagree sometimes and sometimes there are misunderstanding and bitter arguments-we are human after all. But at the end of the day people who stand by you when you need them the most are your true friends.
Not those who claim to be your soul mates and pledge allegiance until the day you die and then rip you off.
Not those who pretended to like you and your values while secretly despising who and what you are.
Not those who string you along with lies and then attempt to turn it around blaming you for their bad actions.
Not those who attempt to portray you as a villain in order to make themselves feel better about their dishonesty.

Funny enough, those are usually the same people who tell you all kinds of shit about your true friends: they don’t want you to have a good support system of people who will keep your reality in check.

Bottom line: hold on to your true and trusted friends. They will keep you grounded. New relationships are good, but tread carefully, take your time and don’t neglect those who care about you.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Good clients misunderstood

Sometimes genuinely good clients get misunderstood and confused with nasty fucktards and misogynists.
I am talking about guys who know exactly what they want in terms of looks and body type. These guys don’t enjoy sampling different flavours, they’ve long since figured out what floats their boat and only seek out girls that match their preferences.

I can understand that.
For instance, although I admire and appreciate women of all shapes, sizes and colours, I have a “type” that is always (and I mean ALWAYS) gets me tingly in…errrrm… neither regions.

My type is a very slim, very tall girl (or woman)-the taller the better-with hardly any breasts and androgynous look. Add to that piercings and tattoos.
When I see someone like that on the street, my knees turn to jelly and I swoon. That’s one of the reasons I like Melbourne, especially Brunswick and Smith streets ;)
This look is guaranteed to get my juices flowing, so if I was punting on a regular basis, I would most certainly look for this type of WG.

A number of guys are like that: they get turned on by a specific type of woman.
They shouldn’t be confused with guys who book WGs at random and then take pleasure in ripping the girl to shreds on forums, making nasty unkind comments about their looks, weight, general appearance, etc.

Here’s a good example of a good client I am talking about (based on a real client I know).

He likes very, very slim (size 6 or smaller) blond girls (boobs are irrelevant to him). He actually doesn’t care about age, but as there are hardly any women over 35 (especially in NZ) who maintain this body type, he ends up with younger girls more often than not.
He used to book my friend when she worked with me at the Asian Bombshell agency in Wellington all the time. Gabby is my age, but she fits his preferences to a T, so she got a lot of business from him.

This does not mean that this guy finds women of other body types ugly or unattractive. He appreciates their beauty. But for the purposes of his personal paid-for entertainment he prefers the type described above. If he doesn’t see anyone matching his desired look, he simply does not book.

This gentleman is very nice and supportive of WGs. I am not his type, so he has never booked me, but he showed me a lot of support on several forums over the last few years.

He is a perfect client: he books in advance, always turns up on time and is respectful and kind.

Smart agency owners in Wellington (like Lilly of AB) figured it out and are enjoying his ongoing patronage (and significant profits, as he has sizable disposable income and indulges often). They let him know when a girl of his type starts at the agency and keep him updated on her (and other similar girls) schedule.
This is a win/win situation for everyone.

This guy has pretty much ceased his participation on the forums, however, mainly because he becomes a target of attacks every time he so much as mentions his preferences. Attacks from guys, I must add-funny enough.

One of his last reviews (I won’t be surprised if he never posts another one), although quite positive and nice, had a remark “she was almost too big for me”. Note he didn’t say the girl was fat or even big, he said she was “almost too big for him”-as in his personal preference.
He still enjoyed the booking and made it very clear in his review. It was a good review. Yet it turned into pages of guys climbing on with unkind remarks about him.

I find it quite funny that guys on the forums complain about WG’s posts/replies, yet they often turn on their fellow punters with *absolutely uncalled for* viciousness at the drop of a hat.

Another punter whom doesn’t post on the forum anymore is the guy who likes curvy women-specifically women with big bums. He has made his preferences clear and even used a photo of a type of woman he enjoys as his avatar.
He has asked several times for some recommendations and some of the remarks that were thrown at him were not particularly kind.
This guy would make a fantastic loyal client to some savvy WG in his area, as apparently there aren’t many that fit his preferences.

I was reading a book by UK punter (NIK) about his years of punting.

He is another good example of a client who knows exactly what he wants.

His type is a young, slim girl-not of illegal age, but younger than 25. Girls like that were always his type-even when he was a youngster and dated (not to be confused with punting).

As he grew older, he realised that his “type” has not changed. He comes across as a realist and he knew as years go by chances that girls of his preferred type would be genuinely attracted to him were dwindling, so he decided he was happy to pay for it.
Some of his adventures are hilarious, as he started punting when newspapers were the only advertising options. Nowadays, internet is firmly in place as leading advertising medium for sex industry, so he has high rate of success :).

Clients who know exactly what they want are great!
If you match their “type” (and provide a good service), they will be a source of steady income for you for months or even years.
I find they are easier to deal with during the initial booking as well, as they already like you and are turned on and excited by your looks-they will probably overlook small deficiencies (if any are present) because they are so consumed with anticipation of fulfilment of their deepest long established desires. Unless your service is seriously crap, the booking has about 90% chance of being a smashing success from the get go.

We all know it is much easier (and cheaper) to maintain existing clients vs. attracting/looking for new ones. Regulars are our bread and butter. They should be cultivated and taken great care of.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Choosing the right service/provider

Although participation in the sex industry is called punting, if a client does his homework and gives it some thought, it is my opinion that the percentage of successful punts (vs. disappointing ones) would be quite high.

Of course no one can guarantee that a client and provider will “click” (as this has to do with chemistry between two people ) and the experience will be mind-blowing. But getting one’s money’s worth could be a given with the right approach.

Punting is not a cheap hobby, so why not invest some time into a research to ensure that you’ll get the best bang for your buck.

Firstly, one has to accept that not any one provider is a perfect combination of ALL the aspects of one’s wildest fantasies.Often times the ones that fit physical requirements to a T do not offer some services desired or work in the environment that is acceptable to a client (parlour, for example) and the ones that tick all the boxes service-wise could be just outside your personal “sex appeal” zone.

Good starting point would be to figure out what is it exactly you are seeking (as desires may vary greatly day by day and week by week).Is it a quick relief of the tension that’s been building up? Or is it a slow unrushed experience you are craving? Or maybe some kinky fantasy has been floating through your mind for days?

Figuring out how much time and money you can realistically set aside for any given punt is the next (and very important) step.

Putting together a mental list of elements of the booking in the order of most important (absolutely must have-deal breaker if not offered) to the least important (can take it or leave it-no big deal) is a very good idea.

Then look through the ads and see what catches your eye.

Usually guys look at the photos first, and then pricing (based on many comments from clients). That’s great!

But reading the ad itself is no less important. It can save lots of disappointment, time and money.

It is a good idea to choose several providers that fit your criteria, as some may not be available at the time you plan your punt for.

I am a big advocate of advance bookings-not only this will most likely result in you getting the provider you want at the day and time that suits you the most, it will also give you a chance to ask all the pertinent questions and clearly outline your expectations. It also adds to the experience: email or text exchanges with the provider build anticipation and excitement, hence adding to overall value.

As every provider (and every client) is different, it is very important to clearly state your expectations and ask pertinent questions during the initial inquiry. It is much better to be a little disappointed after discovering the number one provider on your list does not offer a service you desire during initial phone conversation than having your day turn to crap after wasting time and significant amount of money and not getting what you wanted/expected.
Questions are great-we (providers) love questions! But be mindful to ask specific questions pertinent to your booking-vs. general “So what would you do to me?” as this will flag you as timewaster.
Try to ask all the questions during initial inquiry instead of “dripping” them one by one over several texts/emails/phone calls, as that’s another red flag for timewasters.

We understand that money does not grow on trees and everyone has a budget.

So pick a girl on your budget.

Trying to “low ball” a WG you really want to see but can’t afford into your price range will not yield a desired result. Even if she accepts, she would resent you and/or remove some offerings from her regular service repertoire, leading to disappointment so your bargain will turn out not to be one at all.

Attempting to save money by coaxing a WG in your price range into providing services she does not offer but you really want is not a good idea.
Very popular example of this is guys calling FS providers (hookers) and asking them to perform Pro Domme services.
On many occasions I’ve been asked this and it never ease to amaze me. Do you not care about your well-being?
Once a guy asked me if I had a full-face hood and ball gag for his mouth. I couldn’t believe it.
The hard cold fact is you can suffocate inside 60 seconds. WG who is not a Pro Domme would not know to check your vital signs and without seeing your face/eyes she wouldn’t even know you are dead-not for a while.

Or how would you like serious damage (even internal bleeding) done to your kidneys by someone who does not know proper flogging/caning techniques?

Or *very embarrassing* trip to Emergency room to extract something that is lost in your bowels (because the girl you’ve asked to perform the service had no experience with this type of thing and did not take proper precautions).

If a WG does not offer a particular service, that is generally because she is not comfortable with it. This is a business for her and if she was able/trained/willing to do something, she would most definitely let it be known-to expand her client base and to make more money.
Pushing the boundaries seldom ends well. Even for stuff that you might view as a harmless/easy to perform fetish.

If you really, really crave something, save up for the provider whom advertises the service and has several reviews under her/his belt.

About reviews. They are a great tool, but are never absolutely objective-every person is unique and his/her perceptions are coloured by emotions. Just because someone had ones-in-a-lifetime –out-of-body experience to end all sexual experiences with a particular provider does not mean you should expect exactly the same.

It is always a good idea to be prepared to give something up in order to receive something else.
For example: very young, new to the industry provider will probably not offer all-encompassing service. That’s because her only experience with sex up until then was with boyfriends-meaning she gave a male access to her body for the purpose of having sexual encounter. She is yet to figure out that commercial sex means catering to client’s complex needs and providing a service and atmosphere. But you do get to shag a young fresh chickie, so that’s the upside.

If you have means, it is a good idea to book several different providers in succession (or over several days) for different purposes. For example: one for fast, quick and hard sex to relieve immediate tension, another for a dinner date, yet another for multi-hour unrushed experience. You can throw in a Pro Domme session in the mix if you so desire or a sensual masseuse to relax your tired muscles after all this strenuous activity :)

I know plenty of guys who find it exciting to book an unknown provider from obscure sites-they get their thrill from finding “hidden gems” that way. That’s great, as long as you realise that there is 50/50 chance of you wasting (or in some cases outright losing) your money and you are at peace with that.

At the end of the day, you are the only one who decides how (and with whom) to spend your money. Objective is to get the best value for it. It is up to you to do the research.