Saturday, November 30, 2013

Screening clients over the phone

All WGs adopt some form of screening process, even in the countries where prostitution is legal.
This has to do with weeding out many time-wasters, unsavoury and unstable/dangerous types providers have to deal with on a regular basis.

There is no fool-proof, guaranteed blueprint for this process. Sometimes perfectly nice guys don’t get a booking because they said something that raised red flag without realising it.

Personally, I am happy to accept that I lose some money as a result of my screening process in exchange for peace of mind.

Whenever possible, clients should imagine themselves in WG’s shoes: inviting a complete stranger who is most certainly bigger and stronger than they are and sexually charged in their home, to be alone and naked with. Just think of vulnerability one feels.

I will offer some examples of potential bookings I have rejected and explain the reasons why I’ve done so.
I want to make it very clear that persons described could be the nicest, sweetest, most wonderful people on Earth; however the way they went about making a booking raised some red flags.

Story #1:

I receive a call from foreign-sounding woman. She informs me that she is on a speakerphone so her husband can hear/participate in conversation. They are calling to inquire about my couples’s service.
So far so good.

Her husband jumps into the conversation and asks me if I offer this service (I do, as clearly stated in my ad along with the price). He says they “just wanted to check”. OK, fair enough.

I ask them when they would like to book a session and it gets a bit confusing, as he says they wanted to do it yesterday (?), but got busy, so now they are thinking about next week.
That’s fine with me and I tell them to call me when they know what date and time suits them the best. We say out goodbyes, and I wish them a lovely day.

An hour later my phone rings-it’s the husband, calling from a different number and telling me that he has “received permission” from his wife to see me on his own, as she is gone away (none of which was mentioned an hour ago). He wants to come in for a booking that same day for 2 hours to “see how it goes”.

It’s 11:30am and he wants 2pm booking, which is fine, but when I ask him to confirm, he says he will “call me back in 5 min”.

During this conversation he clearly makes an effort to make it sound like we (him and I) now know each other.
When he calls back in 30 min (not 5 as promised), he starts with “Wazz up” in Russian for a greeting.
I deliberately use this expression to emphasize that he attempts to portray himself as a good friend, known and trusted: the particular phrase he used is something one would address a very good friend or acquaintance with in Russia.

I ask in English “I am sorry, who is this” and he replies “It’s me, of course”. I ask him where he is from (Eastern European country).
After a very brief (about a second) consideration I decline the booking.

Here are the reasons why:

I get a fair number of couples inquiring and partaking in my services. Usually it is a guy whom contacts me and arranges everything. Sometimes (rarely), it is a woman who organises everything.
Having a woman on a speakerphone with her husband/partner simultaneously seems like an overkill, especially just for an inquiry (remember, they weren’t making a booking, just talking about a possibility of one. They weren’t asking any specific questions, either, which would be legitimate reason to both of them to be on the phone). General perception is that women are harmless, safe and trustworthy (along with children and puppies). Many “confidence scams” are based on this.

In and all itself it wasn’t a big deal, however, and at that stage I was happy to accept their booking.
As you remember, they were talking about next week.

So when the guy calls from a different number an hour later and tells me that he “received permission” to come see me on his own because his wife is away and he wants to do it today, it sounded a bit off.
There was no mention of his wife going away in the first conversation.

Although he stated his desired time clearly (2pm) initially, when asked to confirm, he says he will call me back “in 5 min”.

Another red flag is that he wants a 2 hour booking, although he just wants to “see how it goes”.

It is a big misconception among punters that longer bookings are highly desirable by WGs.
It is not at all the case.
Fact is, we can all spot “phone wankers” (guys who call just to talk to WG and get off on it without any intention of making a booking) because they inquire about “5 hours” or “overnight”. They think they have a greater chance to capture girl’s interest/keep her communicating when they dangle a promise of “big money”... LMAO...

Reality is, a prospect of 5 hours (let alone overnight) with a complete stranger is daunting to say the least, as WG doesn’t know what the expectations are. She might be stuck in a room with someone who wants to pound her like a fillet for the entire time or someone who’s manner is offensive, intimidating, unpleasant-take your pick.

Usually WGs prefer longer booking with clients they have met before.

Personally I accept longer bookings with some new clients, but it is usually guys whom have read my blog, seen my website and followed my posts on sex industry forums. I always have a bit of chat with them before accepting the booking to gauge expectations and/or read reviews they’ve posted about other WGs first.

But back to my story. When I hung up the second time, I was full of doubt. I decided to think about this for a few minutes. When the guy rang 30 min later and started with that “Wazz up” in Russian, my mind was made up-I didn’t want a booking.

One might ask what the hell my problem was.

Situation had earmarks of time-compressed “confidence scam”: a woman to start with to ease the way for the guy, repeated phone calls to create familiarity and the sense of “known and trusted friend”, use of my native language. That last one is very popular, as in “we are one of a kind, you and I. You can trust me. I am one of your own”.

Unfortunately, in the recent years there were quite a few cases here in NZ (and in many other countries) of various no-good types from Eastern Europe (which is where that guy was from).
Those cases range from drug trafficking to ATM scam/rip-off to credit card numbers spoofing and, yes, ever present human trafficking.

Last year, while working in a Melbourne parlour, I was booked by Eastern European guy whom promptly offered me a “deal” as soon as he got in the room with me: he comes back the next day, books me for 10 hours, he pays with stolen (spoofed) credit card, we do nothing in the room but chat and I give him back half of my portion (which parlour always pays to the girl in cash immediately, before the booking commences, regardless of client’s method of payment).
I said “Sure” to the guy, as I didn’t want him to turn on me, but reported him to the management as soon as he was out of the door.

If the guy who called me (my NZ story) was up to no good and wanted to involve me in his dealings (I am NOT saying he was, but I had to do risk assessment), I would be truly screwed.
He would know where I live and when I refuse his *whatever illegal* proposition (which I definitely would), he would view me as a threat: I saw his face, know what he was up to, etc.
He might attempt various intimidation techniques to get me to cooperate, as he would be able to stalk me and watch my movements and whereabouts. Or worse.

So I made an executive decision to not get involved with this person altogether. Yes, there is a possibility that it was all perfectly innocent and I just lost several hundred dollars. But guess what? I can live with that. My peace of mind, sanity and well-being is way more important.

Story #2:

I receive a text at 9:15am on a Sat morning asking if I am available.
I reply affirmatively and ask the texter about desired time and duration of the booking. He takes his time replying, and then asks for an hour at 10am.

I try calling to confirm, but he doesn’t answer. I text explaining I require a voice call confirmation, tried calling, but he didn’t pick up.
He calls 10 min later, at which point I decline the booking.
Why, you ask?

Here we go:

He text outside of my *clearly stated* business hours (and please note that 9:15am on a Sat is NOT a common working hour for any private WG) and asked for a short notice booking which I do not offer (again, stated in my ad).
Overall, it’s not a big deal, but this tells me that he is a “boundary pusher” and these types tend to push boundaries in the room as well.

I’ve had over my quota of “boundary pushers” this week and am not very keen on yet another one (and for an hour, too).

Of note also is his chosen method of communication (text) and the length of time it takes him to reply. It tells me that he is “shopping around”: texting multiple WGs looking for the best deal.
Guys who want to see a specific WG, especially on a short notice, usually call, as they want to get an answer as soon as possible.

Please don’t get me wrong: I full well realise I might not be the first (or even second or third) choice of any punter, what’s with hundreds of choices out there and clients most definitely have every right to look for the best deal. However, I have a choice (and the right given to me by PRA) to decline the booking for any reason.
Guys who obviously “shop around” are more likely to cancel in the last minute if they get a better deal from someone else.

Some days, when I am working online at home, it’s not an issue, but on this lovely sunny Sat morning I had plans (that didn’t involve clients, sex or even putting my make-up on) and didn’t feel like stressing myself rushing around getting ready, putting my make-up, stalking, corset and heels on, doing my hair, lighting the candles, setting up the room (spending about 40 min doing it all) to be told it’s all for nothing in the last moment.

Hence my decision to decline the booking.

Yes, I might have lost $200, but in exchange I’ve got a lovely morning, free of stress and aggravation.

Other common “red flags” are:

-Making a confirmed booking, getting WG’s address ad THEN starting to ask about what the girl looks like, what she charges and her services. That’s a trademark of an “address hunter”

-Calling and asking very general questions, like “Tell me about your service” (when it is described in the ad) or “So what outfits do you have”. It smacks of “phone wanker”/time waster. Better way is to state what it is specifically you are after and ask the girl if she can provide it.

-Asking the girl how busy she is that day. It’s unproductive and irrelevant. Besides, do you really want to know how “busy” she is? Just tell her what time/duration you are looking for and ask if she is available then.

-Saying things like “It’s my first time with you, so I will just book half an hour and we’ll see how it goes”. Honestly guys, WGs don’t care how long of a booking you want, so long as you state it clearly, as they need to plan their day. WGs don’t do “save the hour”s. She is not going to decline another client with a confirmed booking because you said *very vaguely* “we’ll see how it goes” implying you might want to extend, but not committing to anything. If you do want to extend at the end of the time you’ve booked/paid for and she is free and willing, she’ll do it. If not, book for longer next time.

Overall, clear concise approach always works the best: state where you seen WG’s ad, confirm that she provides specific services/outfits you desire, state the date/time/duration of your booking and ask if she is available. Simple.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

WGs STEALING CLIENTS (truth comes out eventually)

WGs Stealing clients (truth comes out eventually)

As any business, sex business is not immune to dirty tactics employed by competitors.
Here is a story from as told by a very experienced prominent punter:

I have seen two credible reports of it in European forums.

Dave the punter makes a booking to see Suzi the escort. Suzi tells Dave to go to a well known bar and to ring her from outside the bar's entrance. She can see him there from her window and when he rings she directs him to the door to her building and tells him to enter 3197 on the keypad.

Dave does that and Suzi answers the door intercom and tells Dave to take the lift to the fourth floor, turn right on leaving the lift and walk along to room 422. She then buzzes him in and goes to the door and waits.

Dave rides up to the fourth, turns right and starts looking for 422. As he passes one door, it opens and a voice inside says "are you here for me? I am Suzi." Dave is slightly aware that this might not be room 422 but he may have misheard and there is no number on this door so he goes in for his punt. 

Meanwhile in 422 the real Suzi is wondering where the **** is her client. She cannot believe that another client just vanished and she is also worried that he now knows her address.

One day, one of the disappearing Dave's posts a review saying the Suzi is nothing like her photos and her service was rotten. 

That's when the **** really hits the fan.

And here is a true story. Happened to yours truly.

Before I’ve decided to go private in NZ after working for an agency for a while, I’ve done my homework: I’ve started writing a blog a few months prior, had a professional website built and joined online forum for sex industry (the only forum of its kind in NZ)

I lived in Wellington when I first started working privately, but moved to Auckland a few months later.

I worked hard on building my clientele and reputation. As I travel abroad frequently, I used to post updates on my travel dates on the forum-sometimes I would be away from New Zealand for as long as 2-3 months.

Online forums are very good marketing platform for WGs, but discussions and debates there could quickly escalate and become personal. Comments made towards WGs could be unkind to say the least.
As one WG put it, forums are “rough kind of places” and could become soul-destroying.
They are not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure.

A lot of girls read them, but only a handful actively participate.

One of Auckland WGs decided she could have it both ways: reap the rewards of active forum participation without actually doing it.

She started by adopting my working name for herself: she suddenly changed all her advertising to “Yana” (after having two other  working names prior to that).

Now, lots of girls have same names, but those are usually common ones: Anna, for instance or Katy or even Samantha.

Yana is not a very popular name, definitely not in Western world. I chose this name to highlight my heritage (Russian).
That girl (the one who took my name) was Asian (Malaysian specifically), so Yana was not a common name in her culture.

There is no law that prevents girls from taking other girl’s names ad usually it is not a big deal.

It is slightly different in NZ, as it is a small country and has only one online forum. 
It makes a huge difference here when a prospective client sees an ad for “Yana” and puts a search for that name on the forum looking for reviews: that girl didn’t have that many reviews and I had a lot and it wasn’t always clear which “Yana” the review was for.

Although that girl advertised as SM (sensual massage), she offered FS (full service) if the client so desired, which made things even more complicated.

According to her reviews and comments from her clients, she offered great service, so I can only assume she aimed to increase her business by appropriating my name.

One might argue that I would benefit from this as well, but reality is far from it.

I specialise in GFE (girl friend experience) and FS. This means my premises are set up to accommodate this: everything is soft, plush, upscale and is designed to create an atmosphere of slow unrushed intimacy. I worked really hard on eliminating anything that would give an “institutional”, “clinical” feeling.
This means I do not have a massage table, there are no vinyl anything or hard surfaces.
I also do not use oil, as it makes condoms break.

So when a client calls and asks for a massage with “happy ending”, I:
A)   Tell him that I charge my normal rates for that (they usually expect it to be cheaper)
B)    Explain that my premises are not really set up for massage and I do not use oil
This usually means that no booking eventuates.

But for that girl it was a win/win situation, as she advertised SM and offered FS for additional fee: she got the best of both worlds.

But she didn’t stop there, as I found out later.

Every time I went overseas, I would get random texts occasionally always asking for a massage with happy ending. I couldn’t figure it out: my ad was not running, so why these guys were contacting me?
I just wrote it off to people saving my number (which still didn’t explain SM requests, though).

Then one day, when I was in Hong Kong, I got this text: "Hi yana. How much for 1hr massage and relief? Where on new north are u?"

I’ve decided to dig further and asked the texter where he seen my ad and whether it was specifically for massage:

This was his reply: "Was in nz herald but think it was old add maybe!" "Sorry, I saw it tonight after googling this area around new north rd! Yes, was for massage"

And then it finally dawned on me: that girl cloned my phone number! She assumed that I have a separate “work” phone which I turn off when I go away and watched the forum carefully so she knew my departure/arrival dates.

There is absolutely no doubt about it, as I have never advertised in NZ Herald for a massage and I have never worked anywhere on New North Rd: which is the information she clearly put in the ad, as the client searched the internet for “massage New North Rd”.

I did advertise in NZ Herald ONCE when I first came to Auckland: it was for 3 days only and the ad did not state my name, nor did it offer  a massage. That ad stated “CBD” as well for location (NOT "New North Rd")

All the pieces fell together. 
I now understood all those stray texts asking for SM when I wasn’t even advertising and some strange threads started on the forum by unknown members that in retrospect were clearly designed to figure out how long I would be away and my exact return date.

Armed with proof, I’ve contacted the main advertising medium both myself and that girl were using and asked them to demand a "cease and decease" of  her activities using my name.
By then I have secured exclusive rights to my working name by paying a yearly fee, so my request was reasonable.

The girl in question is now retired from what I heard. Realistically, she probably got several thousand dollars from using my name.

They say imitation is the best form of flattery... Well, maybe. But it is a small comfort when one works really hard and someone else reaps significant financial rewards of that hard work. There is a word for it-stealing. And the person doing it is nothing but a thief.
I am not impressed.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Payments and refunds for sex services

Payments and refunds for sex services

Internet changed sex industry: along with online advertising and review forums it brought higher expectations and standards.

In words of Madam Becky (from her book “Madam: Prostitutes, Punters and Puppets, Memoirs of a very British Brothel”):
“Clients these days are fussy. Not grateful, like they used to be. Not delighted and fascinated to find a smoothly mown lady garden under a racy pair of panties. With all types of porn just two clicks away, most boys seem to grow up not realising that girls even have pubic hair or small deflated breasts. People want it all now. They want it cheap and they want it quick”.

These days one hears a lot of demands for a refund when a punter feels his expectations weren’t met.
Fair enough- I have no problem with that at all.
Just how much of a refund one is entitled is a tricky issue,though, due to the specifics of the industry: the service is very personal and intimate and not at all tangible.
But in a way, it’s quite similar to other businesses.

Say you are at a restaurant for dinner. You see fillet mignon on the menu, described as tender, juicy, cooked to perfection with pink moist centre and “guaranteed to melt in your mouth”.  It comes with sautéed potatoes and some veggies.
Your mouth water just reading the description and you order it as soon as waitress approaches your table.

However, when the waitress reappears several minutes later carrying what was meant to be your fillet, you see a New York strip on the plate that looks like an old tough shoe sole before you even tasted it.

Your immediate reaction should be “I am sorry; this is NOT what I’ve ordered. I’ve asked for fillet mignon.”

If the waitress apologises for her mistakes and delivers the correct order, all is good.

If she says “Sorry, but the Chef informed me that we are out of fillet mignon, so he sent this instead”, you should politely refuse to accept and either select something else from the menu that you find appealing or leave. In latter case the establishment should not charge you for the drink you had while waiting for your order, as they failed to inform you in timely manner that fillet you wanted was not available.

If the waitress did come back very shortly after taking your order (2-3) min to apologise about the unavailability of the fillet and offering you to choose something else, all is good-proceed with another selection.

If the fillet you’ve ordered has, indeed, arrive a rule of thumb that is used in better eating establishments is “two minutes/two bites”.
It means the server should come back in about 2 min (or after you’ve taken two bites of your meal-whichever comes first) to check that everything is to your liking. If yes, all is good, if not, they should offer to fix the problem (depending on what it is) by either cooking your steak more or offering you another menu selection.

If you have eaten most (or all) of your steak (which constitutes the biggest part of the price of the meal), full refund (or replacement with another meal) is no longer an option.

If the waitress came to clear your empty (or nearly empty) plate and you start bitching about how the steak “wasn’t what you expected” and “didn’t taste that good” or the vegetables were overcooked (or undercooked), etc, she would be surprised to hear all that when you’ve eaten most (or all) of the meal and haven’t attempted to complain at any time prior.
The most you could expect at this stage is offer of a free drink or dessert.
You main meal (steak) won’t be “comped”

Above scenario could be used as approximate guideline for sex services.
When you turn up for a booking (having seen WG’s ad online and having fairly good idea of what to expect), you should imagine a clock/time counter in your head that is set for the duration of the time you’ve booked-say 1 hour/60 min (similar to the one pictured at the top of this post).
This counter/timer is sitting still while you knocking on the door and are greeted by a WG.
If the WG is NOT AT ALL what was portrayed in the photos, the best thing to do is to beat a hasty retreat (no need to be rude-just politely tell her she does not match her ad).
At this stage the time counter never moves and you owe no money.

If a WG does look like her photos and you enter her premises and start a conversation, the time counter starts moving (slowly at this stage).

When the girl takes her clothes off, the counter moves a bit faster. You put your hands and/or mouth on the girl, it moves faster yet.

Once you’ve inserted your penis in her vagina and start pumping, the movement of the counter becomes a blur: similar to the electric meter on Invercargill house in the dead of the winter when a heater cranked up to the max in every room.

As sex services are billed in time increments in New Zealand and Australia, duration of overall booking is of importance as well.
If  the girl looks great and everything is fantastic, but she attempts to kick you out after you’ve ejaculated on 25 min mark, you should ask for a refund in the difference between the price of half a hour and one hour booking.

If a WG looks great, but lacks in attitude/enthusiasm/skills department, you should inform her of this as soon as it becomes apparent and either stop the booking demanding partial refund (amount will depend on what took place so far) or ask for immediate adjustments.

If a WGs specifically advertised certain things/sexual acts you are fond of and you explicitly clarified on the phone (while making a booking) that they are, indeed available, but upon commencement of the booking a WG is suddenly unwilling to deliver on her promises, please follow the script above (stop the booking-ask for partial refund-or ask her to deliver services/acts promised).

If you chose to have a conversation with a WG for most of the duration of your booking, the counter was, indeed, moving (if it was her doing that in an attempt not to do what she was booked to do, you should bring this to her attention fairly early ad ask to move on to the "main event". If she didn't do so after a couple of prompts, revert to the same script above).

If you have certain things in mind and/or like the flow of the booking to be in particular order, you need to inform the WG of this clearly. Communication is the key. She can’t read your mind. It is really unfair NOT to ask for things and later write a bad review complaining that they weren’t performed.

Exception would be things that are very definition of a full service commercial sex: oral and penetrative sex (in New Zealand some sort of massage is also included in FS). These you certainly don’t need to ask/prompt for: they should be readily available and eagerly delivered during a full service booking.

If you went through with the booking, stayed the entire time you’ve paid for and had sex with WG, you cannot expect a full refund.

If there were issues, such as the state of the premises, interruptions (WG answering her phone during the booking, for example) or you are truly unhappy with WG’s performance (“star fish”), etc, you should communicate this to the WG (or the agency manager/receptionist) while you are still on the premises and either ask for a partial refund or a discount on the next booking (provided you were assured the next time your experience will be better).

In case agency/WG refused to rectify the situation, you have every right to pen a scathing review. But please try to do so in respectful, constructive manner, stick to the facts and don’t over exaggerate or make things up-it will only make your review less credible.

Obviously, in real world not every situation is easy or clear cut, but in general terms, if everyone does the logical thing, it will make it easier on everyone and will save lots of money, time and stress.