Monday, December 3, 2012

Seeking Arrangement

There is a thread going on (one of the Australian sex industry forums) about  sites like, and
The thread started back in June and is going at the top of the list for the past 6 months now, despite being closed once by mods.

At the heart of the argument is the question: do these sites provide genuine competition to WGs (sex workers).
The tread was started by one particular guy, who appears to have been an avid user of WGs, but now has completely switched to SBs ("sugar babies" advertising on those sites).

Here's my take on the whole affair.
There is plenty of room for all to co-exist and there is no competition as such. Why?
Well, for starters, those sites are not openly advertising sex for money. In fact, they discourage professional escorts from advertising there.
Technically, they are designed for men and women who seek casual arrangements that may or may not involve sex in exchange for gifts and/or cash.
As such, both parties are free to choose their prospective partners based on personality,looks and,yes, the size of their wallets.
Reality is somewhat different: there is no man on that site who doesn't at least hope for sex at some point and you'd be hard pressed to find a woman there who doesn't want money in exchange for her company.
The One Million Dollar Question is: how much?

That's one point of difference of these sites compared to regular escorts sites: prices. Quite a few women are willing to accept lower amounts than escorts do. That much is true.
The flip side is that these women want that money ongoing, in the form of weekly or monthly allowance and boundaries are often not clearly defined, so there is always a danger of personal entanglement with everything that ensues.

I actually like variety myself, so when in Australia (these sites,although available in NZ, will never take off here-the girls would know what I mean), I like to mix it up: some days I take private bookings, some days, when I just can't be bothered answering dozens of phone calls and texts, I work in parlours and some days I do participate in those "Seeking Arrangement" sites.

"Seeking Arrangement" is different in that you don't have to make any decisions straight away. I always ask for a coffee meeting first-to meet the guy and have a chat. I reserve those meetings for my days off, so I actually don't waste any time: I am a creature of habit and as such, have my coffee and muffin every day.
So when I meet the guy from one of those sites for a chat, it is always at the time that suits me and doing something that I would be doing (and paying for) myself otherwise: whether it's coffee, lunch, drinks or dinner.
I've had a very wealthy regular client back in Las Vegas and he taught me this: whenever possible, get someone else to pay. Sure, I can afford my own meal, but why not let someone else pick up the tab when they are so eager and willing?
There is no obligation,either, it's not a "paid" date that I offer on my website. I can get up and leave at any time and offer no explanation. I find it quite liberating, to be honest.

The guy who started the thread on Punter Plant (KKKravis) seems to have a great success rate on these sites. He keeps nudging other punter to follow his suit.
I think he does not take into consideration one important detail: one has to have just the right mix of charisma and sex appeal to be successful on those sites. This mix has nothing to do with your looks, how fit you are, your age or the size of your wallet. It's very intangible quality. Too much, and you come across as arrogant. Too little, and you seem un-appealing.
Very few people posses just the right amount. It's not something that one can teach or learn or develop. You either have it or you don't. Clearly, KKKravis has it in spades, hence he is very successful in his pursuits.
But many guys join and strike out-and they can't figure out why.

Those sites definitely have a place, but at no point will they be serious competition to professional WGs.
I find it funny that discussion on Punter Planet keeps revolving around the same subject again and again and both sides fail to understand each other.

KKKravis seems to think that ProWGs are getting defensive and "attacking" him and SBs, when, in fact, they are simply presenting the other side of the coin (many of them participated in those sites in the past): a lot of those arrangements get too personal, either side could get too clingy or possessive/controlling. There are scam artists of both sexes on there. People change the terms of the arrangement abruptly (or gradually) without taking the other partner into consideration. Some girls ask for ridiculous amounts of money, some never intend to "put out" at any stage, but would lead the guy on. Guys looking for vulnerable girls to take advantage of. Girls doing the same.
These are all the realities. It does happen (quite often).
That's what WGs are trying to bring into the discussion: so others can be aware of dangers as well as positives.

Yet there are plenty of people who find perfectly mutually suitable arrangements on these sites as well and guys just can't believe their luck. That's reality as well.
That's what KKKravis is putting forward-all the benefits and good happenings. He just refuses to accept that there are bad aspects as well and they need to be talked about, just as much as the good ones.
He himself is coming across as being defensive, when all the other people post is  true stories (first-hand experience) of things gone bad in one of those arrangements.

That's the problem: people seem to listen, but they are not hearing what others are saying,as they are preparing the counter-argument in their head because they assume others attack them. No. They just offer their OPINION. It's a forum: it means different opinions are allowed. That's what comprises a discussion.

These sites (Seeking Arrangement) do require up-front investment (about $60AU for premium membership,which allows you to answer emails) and quite a bit of research: one has to sift through dozens (sometimes hundreds) of profiles, answer multiple emails and spend time meeting people.
Some "time-poor" people just can't afford to spend that much time for the result that is not at all guaranteed (vs. just doing online research on WGs and booking one).
The upside is when one has done initial work, it gets easier from there: several SBs lined up, available on-call on a pretty short notice, and also one learns to separate genuine ones from scammers and fakes.
The pay off: one may end up having steamy hot sex with a couple of hot young chicks for mere $1000 all night. Or have ongoing arrangement (no time-limit or clock-watching) with very attractive girls/women for fraction of what a professional WG would cost.
There is also the element of the chase (as any of those girls could reject you). Those guys who posses that mix of charisma/sex appeal find it very rewarding and stimulating-they feel they are been rewarded and have been chosen for something other than the size of their wallets- while with a WG, no matter how skilled she is, one always has it in the back of their mind that she is ONLY in it for money).
Also, a lot of SBs come across as "inexperienced" and guys feel that the connection is more "genuine" than the one with a WG (let's face it, some "professional" habits are ingrained after a while and are hard to break: like carrying a pouch with condoms/lube in our handbags, our self-assurance in bed,etc). I would put a serious question mark on that one, though, as SBs apparent "inexperience" often lead to unprotected sex (which is exactly what some men on those sites are after,BTW)... But it is what it is-we are adults,after all, and as such, our own keepers.

Then there is a flip side: one can be successfully scammed (some of the girls on these sites are VERY talented, convincing and accomplished scammers-NOT at all easy to figure out) and be out of pocket anywhere between $500 to $15K without getting ANY sex or even meeting the girl in some cases.
One can be taken for a ride, buying girl dinners, giving her little spending money and/or gifts,all the while she says things like "I'm shy" and "I'm not ready yet" and never actually "putting out".
One can go into meeting after meeting just to be continually rejected (ouch-not so good for the ego).
One can get no meetings at all-just being rejected outright time and again...

Bottom line: although these girls do essentially trade sexual favours for money, they really ARE what they insist on-NOT pros.
When you pay a WG for services (I am talking about true professional courtesans), they make you feel like you are the center of their Universe for whatever time you've paid for. They are trained to make you feel  like an amazing lover, enchanting conversationalist and the most desirable company.
And, most importantly, they LEAVE at the end of the booking and won't disrupt your life.
And if they did not deliver, you can request a partial refund and/or write a bad review which will affect their business.

"Sugar Babies"-not so much. A lot of them are not skilled in art of lovemaking or feel they don't need to make an effort.
Some would either not follow your line of conversation or give you a headache talking non-stop about THEIR friends (people you've never met and know nothing about-basically, REAL girlfriend experience).
Some will get emotionally attached and will threaten your happy married life.
Some will get completely financially dependent on you and will try to take you to court trying to get "ongoing support" claiming "relationship" existed when you attempt to break it off.
Other will ask for money upfront and you will never see/hear from them again...
The list (and horror stories) goes on and on.

In the end of the day it's all one big punt, so make your choices carefully.

1 comment:

  1. Could never do this sort of arrangement, its too close to genuine dating (but still costs money) and too far from a normal wg (but no garentee of sex)