Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Why I prefer to NOT work where I live

Ever since I started working privately full-time in New Zealand, I have arrangements to use some one else's premises for my bookings and pay them an hourly rate. Or I simply book a hotel.
There are many reasons for this, but one of the most important ones is there are quite a number of strange (to put it mildly) people who can seriously disrupt my life.
My lesson was learned a couple years ago when one of the clients turned into a deranged stalker.

From time to time I get a proof that I've made the right decision by not working from where I live. Let's take Saturday two weeks ago, for instance.

This guy first made contact via email through my NZG ad. He told me that he wanted an hour booking.
His English was pretty poor, but I was able to understand him. He told me he was from South America.
We agreed on 1:15pm appointment. Immediately he began texting wanting to know the address (although it was good 4 hours until the scheduled booking time and I already told him that I work in Auckland CBD). I was getting ready in the bathroom, so didn't see the first text. By the time I was ready (30 min later) there were four (!!) texts asking for the address.
I had an uneasy feeling right then and there, but I often get accused of "seeing shadows" where there is none, so decided to go ahead with the booking.
I supplied the name and the address of the hotel to him and re-confirmed 1:15pm booking.

That day I had another booking at midday. As my client was in the shower (at the end of the booking), I looked at my phone and was surprised to see a message from South American guy (1:15pm booking) at 12:55pm saying "I'm here now".
That's the  advantage of working from a hotel: had I worked from a private residence, this guy would been knocking on my door at 12:55pm (20 min BEFORE his scheduled booking) while my last client was still on the premises, causing all kinds of problems.
As it is, I don't give out my room number in advance and instruct clients to text/call once they arrive, thus preventing awkward moments.
At 1:15pm I have given Paolo (South American guy) my room number and he was knocking on my door 2 min later.
He arrived with a bottle of  white wine (I haven't asked him for it, nor did he tell me he was going to bring one).

I understand that first 30-60 seconds in our business are crucial, especially with a first-time clients. It's the time to "see the goods", so to speak, and decide whether or not to proceed with the booking (and for how long). So I always give client a chance to have a good look at myself and the premises and then word my question very deliberately. I usually ask : So, we ARE HERE for an <insert time: half an hour, hour,etc>,right?
This gives client a chance to change the length of his booking, if he so desires and/or re-confirm the duration. Once the client confirms, the money exchange hands and it's all about fun from that point on.
Paolo nodded "Yes" to one hour duration and handed me the money.
He wanted to take a shower (I always ask if the client wants one, as often my business clients come straight from the gym,freshly showered, so there is no need).
Paolo spent quite a long time in the bathroom with the door firmly closed. His bag was still on the couch, so I am not really sure if he was doing anything other than showering/using toilet in there-he did go in fully dressed,though.
When he finally emerged about 7 min later, he wanted to have a drink. I obliged and we had a chat about his life.
He told me he came to NZ to find a job,but was having hard time of it and was thinking about going back working on cruise ships (which is what he said he's been doing) in a few weeks. He even showed me his name badge from the last ship he worked on (he was a bar waiter).
I have very good time management skills and never,ever "milk the clock" by letting a client get lost in a conversation and then doing "ooops, we are out of time" thing. I know what I am getting paid for and always gently remind the client about the main purpose of his visit.
At about 25 min mark I got up, went over to Paolo and encouraged him to proceed with intimate part of the booking. He was ready, if you know what I mean, but said he needs to go to the bathroom really quick.
That took a bit of time (not as long as the first time, but a fair bit).
Upon his return we proceeded onto the bed and with some fun. We had oral and penetrative sex in several positions, Paolo came and I offered to give him a massage. He agreed, but asked a strange question: Can you do massages? Of course, I do, I replied.
Paolo was telling me that I should go and work on a cruise ship with him. He said he'll get a bartender job this time and I could have free drinks any time I wanted. I honestly assumed it was just a small, apres sex  talk and thought nothing of it.
The hour was almost up (about 3 min left) and I asked Paolo if he wanted another shower. He said "Yes" and went into the bathroom for another 5 min.

He came out and sat in the middle of the bed, butt naked. I exchanged a couple of small remarks with him and politely asked if he wanted to get dressed.
That's when the trouble started. Paolo gave me bewildered look. "What do you mean, get dressed??"-he asked.
"Well, you booked an hour and it's now up"-I said
He gave me a strange look. I showed him my cellphone which displayed the current time. "See?"-you've been here for a little over an hour now, I said.
Paolo gestured around, pointing at the wine bottle/glasses. "But we were doing that"-he said.
"Yes"-I explained-"We were. Because that's what YOU wanted to do for a while. And then we had sex. And now the time is up"
Paolo was not moving. He sat smack in the middle of the bed. "But that was an introduction"-he said.
I knew this could potentially become trouble. Clearly, he assumed that he was going to book and pay for an hour, come over with a bottle of cheap wine and "make an afternoon" out of it or even get an instant relationship/girlfriend (his comments about me joining cruise ship with him surfaced in my memory).
Situations like this is when experience matters. I didn't want this to escalate, as I am trying to keep very low profile and not make it obvious to hotel management what it is that I do. I couldn't risk shouting match, possible violence or police intervention. Although not very big, Paolo was all muscle and I knew I couldn't physically shift him even if I tried-and he clearly had no intention of leaving.
I knew I had to be assertive (NOT the word my flatmate uses when describing me, but I have to be what I am in order to survive), but also try to get him to leave on his own good will at the same time.
Instead of  having a pointless argument, I've explained to him that I rent premises by the hour and I have to pay for actual duration of the stay-so if he wanted to extend, he would need to give me the money for the extension and I would need to inform the owner of the place. I even showed him a text which I've sent the owner upon Paolo's arrival confirming that I do, in fact, have 1 hour booking.
I asked Paolo what he wanted to do. He did extend for 15 min. Those were very tense 15 min (that turned out to be 30 min, in fact). Paolo was acting a bit crazy, suddenly breaking out in a laugh for no reason, saying things like "I thought you were an independent escort" or "You are not allowed to give massages" and attempting degrading,aggressive and violent sexual acts on me (unsuccessfully).
In the end, he took yet another shower and took his sweet time getting dressed. All the while, I was definitely assertive in reminding him that he needs to go ( but not rude and without any shouting/cursing).
Paolo finally departed (about hour and 35 min after his arrival),taking his unfinished bottle of wine with him.
I must admit, experience left me a bit shaken. It took a long walk, a beer and a massage for me to calm down.
This could have turned all shades of ugly.
I know that it would have been much more difficult to get that guy to leave if I worked out of private residence where I live. Also, if I was younger, had less experience and showed any signs of fear/distress, he probably would have gotten even more aggressive.
The beauty of a hotel is that not many people would try something really stupid in there, as it's not easy to escape fast and/or unnoticed. Also the fact that someone else owns the premises and IS coming at some point made a difference, I believe.

It is NEVER a good sign when a (potential) client asks you for an address before he even knows your prices and availability. At best, it's a time-waster. At worst... I'll let your imagination run wild.

I was contacted by someone few months ago who claimed to enjoy golden showers. As in ONLY golden showers-he didn't want any other services. He said he wanted to come over, have a golden shower and depart-total duration of appointment 10 min tops. He wanted a discounted price-reasonable request for what he was asking. So far, so good, right... Not so fast.
As he proceeded to text me (and finding out that I worked out of a hotel), he was now suggesting that I leave a container containing my urine in MY mailbox and he would stop by, pick it up and leave the money... I am sure you can see where this was going. Trying to play on WG's possible greed and luring her with "easy money", he was trying extract the actual physical address-God knows to what end.

Another guy contacted me via my NZG ad and at first asked for a "worn panties" service. Pretty common fetish, nothing un-usual. Well, by the third email, his request was getting really elaborate (it was clear he was getting off on it) AND, instead of depositing money into my account, as I suggested, he wanted to MAIL it to me (here we go again, he wanted actual physical address).

I see a lot of truly great clients every day: intelligent, funny, with fascinating mind. They enrich my life in so many way.
Unfortunately, it's the odd ones,as described above, that make us to be extra cautious,as it only takes one of those to do serious harm.

1 comment:

  1. Hi,
    This shows one of the limitations of the fairly permissive NZ laws where there is little accountability on the "punter". I have spent a lot of time in the US where "" acts as a clearing house for both the customer and the lady as well.
    Although we live in a society where there are no legal issues around seeing a professional lady I think an equivalent website to the US version would be beneficial to all parties.