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Friday, October 26, 2012

Use of commercial sex services: God given right or luxury

This reply

"Meh!

When I have to commit a whole days work for just 1 to 1.5 hours of a WGs time, then I have to say I think it is every punters right to seek a better deal.

If it wasn't for the influence of booze and hormones on men there wouldn't be a sex industry in it's current form, simply because for anyone on an average wage with typical expenses it is totally unaffordable to punt on anything other than a very infrequent basis.

And anyone used to getting more than $300 in their hand for their days efforts is not in touch with the common man, and will have a distorted perception of what they are worth, so those people should be the first to STFU on this subject.

Voyager has only reached his current state of mind because he's lost touch with how powerful a younger mans libido can be.
While his older perspective is still a wise and experienced opinion, it is not the opinion of the average (and younger, and poorer) punter."

was posted on one of the threads on AdultForum and was in response to this post by Voyager  that I have linked just to add some one else's opinion to the discussion (that's what Forums are all about,right?).

Aside from the fact that the poster completely missed the point, let's look into his statements.

I'll start from the beginning (paragraph by paragraph):

-Yes, of course it is punter's (or any consumer's ) right to seek a better deal. That is not in dispute AT ALL.
What Voyager was talking about is trying to bargain WG's prices down, which is something entirely different.
New Zealand has some the lowest prices in the world for quality commercial sex services and here there are also a lot of things that are expected to be included in the service aside from just sex (such as massage, GFE,etc). It is also expected that WG provides services in very nice setting, wears lingerie,etc. All that for about $200NZ for an hour.
Versus US, for example, where WGs charge about $500 for a simple act of sex (NOT for an hour, as no one sells TIME there-a booking could take only 20 min often) or Australia, where private WGs charge $450-$750/ hr...
Providing commercial sex services  is not as easy as some think.
Try to pedal YOUR ass for a living for a week or so, and THEN come back and talk to me about "being out of touch with reality"-after you had to put your face into someone's awful smelling crotch and have your head pushed down on someone's penis to a point where you are choking and can no longer breath..
Or have someone slap the daylight out of you and try to choke you... Or have someone ram their penis up your behind without a warning.. Or simply have someone treat you like shit because they figured they've paid for you, so they are entitled.
I am sure you get the idea.

"Seeking a better deal" in my opinion is looking for providers who's charges match your budget, NOT trying to insult WGs by bargaining (which is what Voyager's post is about).

If I am at the store shopping for shoes (with, say $100 budget in mind) and I see the pair that I really,REALLY like, that costs $130 and another that I don't like so much, but it matches my budget ($100), do I go to the salesperson and ask for the more expensive shoes being sold to me for $100?? Just because I really want those expensive ones? 
Of course, not.  I either settle on less expensive pair or go away and save up for the one I really want. It's simple,really.
So why is it so complicated to some guys when it comes to sex industry?
Either buy what you can afford or save for the ones you really,really want.


-The second statement is just hilarious, as it is a well known fact that prostitution is THE OLDEST PROFESSION in the world. It was around from time immemorial. It survived major wars, disasters,famine,floods and recessions. 
Guys who want "sex on demand" always seem to find means to finance it.
Besides, we all know that alcohol and drugs actually impede sex performance, NOT enhance it.

-In regards to "$300/day" comment... If he meant WGs-please see my comment above regarding the "joys" of our profession..
If he meant Voyager (and other guys in higher income bracket)...
Well, if someone invested time and effort in educating themselves and then worked relentlessly hard to achieve their goals, had ambition and, as a result, are now making very healthy income, I don't see how that is a bad thing...
Voyager is a Kiwi, born and bread, from a very small farming town. Middle class family-so no "family money". He achieved his state of wealth by striving to excel. Perhaps you should do the same.
Siting on the sidelines bitching about others making good money is not going to improve your situation.

-The comment regarding Voyager's not knowing about "younger man's libido"... LMAO...
Age has NOTHING whatsoever to do with libido.
I know of a punter (above middle age) who has weekly multi-hour sessions with a very young WG and most of that time is spent...well...how do I say this eloquently...having rigorous sex multiple times (certainly NOT talking-for that the guy books a "dinner date" in ADDITION to multi-hour booking).. And then that same guy goes on trips and books other WGs for hours at a time..

Judging by quite a few comments from females associated with Voyager at one time or another, I gather, his libido is doing very well, indeed.
On the other hand, I've seen guys in their 20's and 30's who couldn't get it up.

Besides, if you are a young guy with a big sex drive, the solution is simple: get a girlfriend! You'll have a regular sex for free.
Ahhh, but I bet you want to have sex with DIFFERENT girls, ON DEMAND, and you want those girls to do quite a few things in bed and to be very attractive as well.
You don't want to deal with someone's feelings and put forth an effort that relationship requires.
Well, my friend, in that case you are definitely talking about a LUXURY for which you have to be prepared to pay.
Such as life.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Love,love,LOVE my business clients!

I really do. They are awesome!
I am very organised myself and have lived in US for a long time where competition is fierce (regardless of what business you're in and whether you are a man or a woman).
Being organised, self-motivated and disciplined in there often meant the difference between being able to make a living (often a very good one) and struggling just above the poverty line.
Appointments were made and kept, people showed up on time, everyone checked their emails several DOZEN times a day and phone calls were promptly answered and/or returned.
I spent my last 4 years in US being a Real Estate Agent and running my own property management company. To give you an idea of what competition was really like: there were 17000 licensed Real Estate Agents in Las Vegas alone. And that's not counting the ones who weren't licensed themselves, but worked under their broker's "umbrella". To make money, one really had to hassle.
I usually woke up early, went straight to my desk to check my emails and the day was off to a running start from that point on.
Potential/current clients called me as early as 7:30am and as late as 10pm. Often times the fact that I've answered the phone made a difference (as in, I've got the sale), as people hardly ever bothered leaving messages-they just dialed the next agent.
I often did the set-up and cleaning of the properties myself, as A) Hired cleaners didn't do a good enough job B) Time was of the essence: having property available for move-in that night/early morning meant that I had the tenants there straight away.
I've created a niche market:  investors who bought from me and had me manage their properties referred other investors to me (as I offered things no other agent did, which took a lot of work on my part). So with all those other available agents in town, I never had to advertise my services-I was plenty busy as it was.

I love my business clients, because they are very much the same: they are in control of their lives. They work hard and they reward themselves accordingly. They plan their business and entertainment.
They make bookings in advance, turn up on time, turn off their phones and let themselves relax and "unplug" for scheduled hour, 2 hours or whatever time they have allocated. Then they go back to work, refreshed and rejuvenated.

I subscribe to Eastern philosophies. I believe that you get exactly what you've put out there (into the Universe). If your thoughts are constantly in disarray, if you do not see clearly your day/week/month,etc ahead, if you always get caught by surprise by various emergencies and other people seem to disrupt your life, then that's exactly what you should expect to happen over and over again.
So when people tell me: "Oh, I don't know, I'll see how my day goes and what all happens", I just laugh. Because they let OTHERS control their life, quite clearly.
Fact is, planning is not hard. You sit down and you map out your meetings, appointments,etc in your diary. You dedicate certain times/duration for those. Sure, some of those could be a bit unpredictable as far as length as concern, so you "budget" a bit more time for them.
Someone who's been in charge and/or run their own successful business usually knows his coming days/week schedule without having to look in his diary.
Good example is my flatmate. He is an upper management in his company-in charge of the business of that company for the whole of New Zealand. His company doesn't deal with individuals,either-it's major corporations only. He has very good grip on his schedule.
For instance, when he is having dinner with his family on Sun night, he can always tell his daughter whether or not he will be able to give her a ride on any given day at any given time of the upcoming week-he knows exactly what he has scheduled. He also doesn't let his business life completely overtake his personal life: he schedules personal events/entertainment,etc and then just turns off his work phone during those.
Let's face it: unless you are a heart surgeon who is assigned to emergency room duties and are put "on-call", there is really nothing that can't wait for a few hours.
Yes, economy is tough these days, but if you handle your business right and provide CONSISTENT good service that represents good value to your customers, they will stay with you. They will learn to schedule their appointments and they will not drop you and go to your competition because you didn't answer their phone call the minute they rang, because they KNOW you WILL get back to them and when you do, you will have a solution and that solution will be the best available.
You just need to go on with your plan. Sometimes people will cancel on you-no big deal. People who are truly in charge of their life and business will not let others disrupt their day. If someone cancels on you, don't try restructure YOUR whole day because of it. Just do something that you needed to do anyway: maybe take a much-needed walk or do a quick brain-storm with your crew or catch up on your email/phone calls, or read a good book for a while. There are dozens if things that could be done.
I have a number of business clients (I love you guys, I really do) who put down time scheduled with me as "Project meeting" in their diary. Those are the people I know I can count on. They never cancel and they are never late. They also are the ones I have the most fun with, as we both relaxed and those guys tent to be well and truly self-differentiated people. They don't try to prove anything to anyone, or show off or impress me (or anyone else). They know what they are and are very secure at that knowledge. No matter what fantasy/kink we are exploring, they always are comfortable in their own skin, which, in turn, makes me comfortable as well.
When a new client like that contacts me, they usually do it via email or phone call. They describe exactly what they have in mind, ask if I am able/willing to provide the service described, tell me what day/time/duration they prefer and schedule a booking. It's simple and straight forward.

Then there are those who call and start with pointless questions like "So what's your day is like today?"...     Huh?? 
Here's some examples.
Guy rings me at 10:15am. Asks what my schedule is like (I hate those kinds of pointless questions). I reply that if he tells me what time he has in mind for a booking, I will be able to provide him with my availability around that time frame. He huffs for a few seconds.. "Well, I am just seeing what my day is gonna be like, trying figure things out"... Pause.. "What, you don't have any bookings today?"-he continues. "Well, I have a tentative 2pm, but unconfirmed at this stage, so if you'd like that time and want to make a confirmed booking, I will schedule you now and then will work the other person around that"
"Uhm.. How about 10:45am?"-he asks
I am floored. After all this talk about my DAY he actually wants a "now" appointment (which I don't offer and clearly state that in my ad).
I explain that I don't do "now" bookings. He says "Oh..OK.. Well, I'll give you a call later on, when I figure out my day" (remember, he started the conversation with that).
I ask bluntly "Are you really going to call back or it's just not gonna happen"
"Well, I really wanted 10:45am" he says.
I am thinking "Then why didn't you say so, when you first started talking instead of wasting mine and yours time with questions about my day and my other bookings?? What does it matter what I have booked at 2pm if you want "now" appointment??"

I'd like to digress a little and explain why I don't offer "now" bookings. I don't work where I live, for starters-I rent some one else's premises by the hour for work. So, first and foremost, I need time to get there.
Also, I found that if I only work on certain days, there are always people wanting to book me on the days that I DON'T WORK. So I've decided on compromise: I will be available every day, but will require advance bookings.
Obviously, I have a life. I don't sit around all dressed up in lingerie, fully made up, hair perfectly coiffed all day and wait for the phone to ring. I stay in shape by walking for at least an hour (usually more) every day. I need to do shopping, cleaning,etc. I get facials, massages and other treatments.
I meet with my friends. I go to the theater and I eat out.
When someone calls on my ad, they expect the girl in the photos: make-up, lingerie,stilettos and all.
Well, that takes time: I need to get home from wherever I happen to be, get showered, put the make-up on, get to my work location and get changed for a booking.

 When the guys are horny, they think with their "little head". They want sex NOW. They say they don't care about your clothes, make-up, etc. That might be true. Until they had sex and came. Then, on their way home, they start thinking with their "big head", replaying the whole encounter. And now they feel shortchanged. They think they didn't get what was advertised,as they expected the "whole package"-and rightfully so. They will definitely not book me again.
Guys book private girls for a reason. They want ambiance, they want the whole "experience". That's why they pay premium rates.
It was different when I worked for a low-end agency where we relied on volume to make money. Most guys (not all,of course-there were some really nice clients there, but few and far in between)who frequented that place never heard of internet forums or even NZG. They wanted a quick,cheap shag, available on demand. Clothes were actually a hindrance, as they took time to get out of (those guys often only booked for 15 min). So, yes, I often opened the door in the nude..LOL.. I also was called more than once by the agency owner at 9am on Sat or Sun morning (I lived just around the corner) because some guy was there, desperate to get laid. I went around in my PJs, without any make-up. They didn't care one little bit-they just wanted a quick lay.
As I started working privately, I have a totally different clientele. And this business is unforgiving.
I am well aware that punters PM each other and many know each other personally. They compare notes. Not to mention reviews on the forums.
Yes, I might miss out on a couple of hundreds bucks by not accepting "now" booking, but I would loose few hundred, if not more in potential AND repeat business if I cave into guy's pleas and then get a review that says "Yana had no make-up on, appeared out of breath and sweaty when she opened the door and was wearing her street clothes and Sketchers".
I am very grateful to the fact that I am financially secure, so am never tempted to do "now" bookings.
I've spoken to my regular clients and they agree: it is a much better compromise to have to book me in advance (which they do anyway) and have me available every day rather than have me only work on certain days. It just gives better range of appointments,as many of them (clients) come to town on different days and those often cannot be changed.
That's why when someone rings at 5:40pm and I inform them that my next available appointment would be at 7:15pm,as I already have 6:30pm pre-booked, I will always say "No" to his pleas to "squeeze" him in before the other guy (true story).
I pride myself in consistency and dependability. The flip side of that is no "now" bookings. Yes, I loose some (not much) business because of that. But it's OK with me.

Back to the guys with pointless questions.
Had one just yesterday.
Guy: "Hi, I saw your ad on NZG. So, when's your next available appointment?"
Me: "What time would you like to book for?"
Guy: "Well, probably not 'till tomorrow.." (why on earth did you ask me about my NEXT available,then??)
Me: "Great. I like the guys who plan in advance. What time were you thinking?"
Guy: "Weeelll... I'll call you after lunch tomorrow... I have to see how my day goes.." (WTF?)
Me: "Ok. But please keep in mind that I get booked in advance. If you call me tomorrow after lunch, I might have nothing available at that stage"
Guy: "Oh...OK.."

Here's the thing. I really do only take very limited number of bookings every day (usually two, three at the very most and only one if it's a 3-hour booking). That's why I wanted to work privately: so I can have a proper work/life balance.
I give my all at every booking and it's very draining. I don't take bookings when I am tired and feel that I cannot give the client 100%.
As my regular clients pre-book in advance, often times all it takes is one phone call in the morning for a 1-hour booking (in addition to the one I had pre-booked for that day) and voila-I am fully booked for that day. So calling me a saying things like "I want to see you tomorrow, but I don't know when (not even a ballpark) and I'll call you tomorrow" is often un-productive and pretty much a waste of time.
Also, you spend a fairly large amount of money on this "hobby"-it often equals a good portion of your weekly wages. Wouldn't you want to plan that kind of spending carefully and in advance?

My lovely, amazing business clients! I love you dearly. You are my "bread and butter". You are also the ones that I can truly enjoy myself with. You challenge my mind, you often make me think outside of the box, you enlighten me in so many ways.
I just wanted to express my sincere gratitude to you. Mwah!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Why I prefer to NOT work where I live

Ever since I started working privately full-time in New Zealand, I have arrangements to use some one else's premises for my bookings and pay them an hourly rate. Or I simply book a hotel.
There are many reasons for this, but one of the most important ones is there are quite a number of strange (to put it mildly) people who can seriously disrupt my life.
My lesson was learned a couple years ago when one of the clients turned into a deranged stalker.  http://courtesansdiary.blogspot.co.nz/2011/08/pitfalls-of-courtesans-life-client.html

From time to time I get a proof that I've made the right decision by not working from where I live. Let's take Saturday two weeks ago, for instance.

This guy first made contact via email through my NZG ad. He told me that he wanted an hour booking.
His English was pretty poor, but I was able to understand him. He told me he was from South America.
We agreed on 1:15pm appointment. Immediately he began texting wanting to know the address (although it was good 4 hours until the scheduled booking time and I already told him that I work in Auckland CBD). I was getting ready in the bathroom, so didn't see the first text. By the time I was ready (30 min later) there were four (!!) texts asking for the address.
I had an uneasy feeling right then and there, but I often get accused of "seeing shadows" where there is none, so decided to go ahead with the booking.
I supplied the name and the address of the hotel to him and re-confirmed 1:15pm booking.

That day I had another booking at midday. As my client was in the shower (at the end of the booking), I looked at my phone and was surprised to see a message from South American guy (1:15pm booking) at 12:55pm saying "I'm here now".
That's the  advantage of working from a hotel: had I worked from a private residence, this guy would been knocking on my door at 12:55pm (20 min BEFORE his scheduled booking) while my last client was still on the premises, causing all kinds of problems.
As it is, I don't give out my room number in advance and instruct clients to text/call once they arrive, thus preventing awkward moments.
At 1:15pm I have given Paolo (South American guy) my room number and he was knocking on my door 2 min later.
He arrived with a bottle of  white wine (I haven't asked him for it, nor did he tell me he was going to bring one).

I understand that first 30-60 seconds in our business are crucial, especially with a first-time clients. It's the time to "see the goods", so to speak, and decide whether or not to proceed with the booking (and for how long). So I always give client a chance to have a good look at myself and the premises and then word my question very deliberately. I usually ask : So, we ARE HERE for an <insert time: half an hour, hour,etc>,right?
This gives client a chance to change the length of his booking, if he so desires and/or re-confirm the duration. Once the client confirms, the money exchange hands and it's all about fun from that point on.
Paolo nodded "Yes" to one hour duration and handed me the money.
He wanted to take a shower (I always ask if the client wants one, as often my business clients come straight from the gym,freshly showered, so there is no need).
Paolo spent quite a long time in the bathroom with the door firmly closed. His bag was still on the couch, so I am not really sure if he was doing anything other than showering/using toilet in there-he did go in fully dressed,though.
When he finally emerged about 7 min later, he wanted to have a drink. I obliged and we had a chat about his life.
He told me he came to NZ to find a job,but was having hard time of it and was thinking about going back working on cruise ships (which is what he said he's been doing) in a few weeks. He even showed me his name badge from the last ship he worked on (he was a bar waiter).
I have very good time management skills and never,ever "milk the clock" by letting a client get lost in a conversation and then doing "ooops, we are out of time" thing. I know what I am getting paid for and always gently remind the client about the main purpose of his visit.
At about 25 min mark I got up, went over to Paolo and encouraged him to proceed with intimate part of the booking. He was ready, if you know what I mean, but said he needs to go to the bathroom really quick.
That took a bit of time (not as long as the first time, but a fair bit).
Upon his return we proceeded onto the bed and with some fun. We had oral and penetrative sex in several positions, Paolo came and I offered to give him a massage. He agreed, but asked a strange question: Can you do massages? Of course, I do, I replied.
Paolo was telling me that I should go and work on a cruise ship with him. He said he'll get a bartender job this time and I could have free drinks any time I wanted. I honestly assumed it was just a small, apres sex  talk and thought nothing of it.
The hour was almost up (about 3 min left) and I asked Paolo if he wanted another shower. He said "Yes" and went into the bathroom for another 5 min.

He came out and sat in the middle of the bed, butt naked. I exchanged a couple of small remarks with him and politely asked if he wanted to get dressed.
That's when the trouble started. Paolo gave me bewildered look. "What do you mean, get dressed??"-he asked.
"Well, you booked an hour and it's now up"-I said
He gave me a strange look. I showed him my cellphone which displayed the current time. "See?"-you've been here for a little over an hour now, I said.
Paolo gestured around, pointing at the wine bottle/glasses. "But we were doing that"-he said.
"Yes"-I explained-"We were. Because that's what YOU wanted to do for a while. And then we had sex. And now the time is up"
Paolo was not moving. He sat smack in the middle of the bed. "But that was an introduction"-he said.
I knew this could potentially become trouble. Clearly, he assumed that he was going to book and pay for an hour, come over with a bottle of cheap wine and "make an afternoon" out of it or even get an instant relationship/girlfriend (his comments about me joining cruise ship with him surfaced in my memory).
Situations like this is when experience matters. I didn't want this to escalate, as I am trying to keep very low profile and not make it obvious to hotel management what it is that I do. I couldn't risk shouting match, possible violence or police intervention. Although not very big, Paolo was all muscle and I knew I couldn't physically shift him even if I tried-and he clearly had no intention of leaving.
I knew I had to be assertive (NOT the word my flatmate uses when describing me, but I have to be what I am in order to survive), but also try to get him to leave on his own good will at the same time.
Instead of  having a pointless argument, I've explained to him that I rent premises by the hour and I have to pay for actual duration of the stay-so if he wanted to extend, he would need to give me the money for the extension and I would need to inform the owner of the place. I even showed him a text which I've sent the owner upon Paolo's arrival confirming that I do, in fact, have 1 hour booking.
I asked Paolo what he wanted to do. He did extend for 15 min. Those were very tense 15 min (that turned out to be 30 min, in fact). Paolo was acting a bit crazy, suddenly breaking out in a laugh for no reason, saying things like "I thought you were an independent escort" or "You are not allowed to give massages" and attempting degrading,aggressive and violent sexual acts on me (unsuccessfully).
In the end, he took yet another shower and took his sweet time getting dressed. All the while, I was definitely assertive in reminding him that he needs to go ( but not rude and without any shouting/cursing).
Paolo finally departed (about hour and 35 min after his arrival),taking his unfinished bottle of wine with him.
I must admit, experience left me a bit shaken. It took a long walk, a beer and a massage for me to calm down.
This could have turned all shades of ugly.
I know that it would have been much more difficult to get that guy to leave if I worked out of private residence where I live. Also, if I was younger, had less experience and showed any signs of fear/distress, he probably would have gotten even more aggressive.
The beauty of a hotel is that not many people would try something really stupid in there, as it's not easy to escape fast and/or unnoticed. Also the fact that someone else owns the premises and IS coming at some point made a difference, I believe.

It is NEVER a good sign when a (potential) client asks you for an address before he even knows your prices and availability. At best, it's a time-waster. At worst... I'll let your imagination run wild.

I was contacted by someone few months ago who claimed to enjoy golden showers. As in ONLY golden showers-he didn't want any other services. He said he wanted to come over, have a golden shower and depart-total duration of appointment 10 min tops. He wanted a discounted price-reasonable request for what he was asking. So far, so good, right... Not so fast.
As he proceeded to text me (and finding out that I worked out of a hotel), he was now suggesting that I leave a container containing my urine in MY mailbox and he would stop by, pick it up and leave the money... I am sure you can see where this was going. Trying to play on WG's possible greed and luring her with "easy money", he was trying extract the actual physical address-God knows to what end.

Another guy contacted me via my NZG ad and at first asked for a "worn panties" service. Pretty common fetish, nothing un-usual. Well, by the third email, his request was getting really elaborate (it was clear he was getting off on it) AND, instead of depositing money into my account, as I suggested, he wanted to MAIL it to me (here we go again, he wanted actual physical address).

I see a lot of truly great clients every day: intelligent, funny, with fascinating mind. They enrich my life in so many way.
Unfortunately, it's the odd ones,as described above, that make us to be extra cautious,as it only takes one of those to do serious harm.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Life and it's unpredictable twists and turns

Sometimes life throws us a really curved one...
Just when you think, after all the storms and near-drowning experiences, you are sailing  calm and peaceful seas, a huge wave... or earthquake... or tsunami comes out of nowhere and hits your little boat.
Good news: what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. It's true. As harsh as it sounds, the more calamities you go through in the course of your life, the more adaptable you become at handling them.
You learn the tricks of survival. You get to know all the things that help you go on. Not unscathed, of course, you still get to have all the little (and sometimes big) scars, but still in one piece and functional.
It doesn't mean you become hardened and loose the ability for empathy. You are just... stronger.

Those who managed to have a sheltered, privileged  life for a long time are usually the ones who hit the hardest with any "storm". Sadly, those are also the ones who often don't survive the ordeal: completely unprepared, they simply drown.
Life isn't fair: sometimes the bad guys win, and good people suffer. Be realistic. While accepting what comes, still work hard, dream big and do the right thing.

Unfortunately, survivors of many life "storms" often become guarded and they find it hard to trust others. They are conditioned to see the worst possible outcome, "just in case". This way they feel prepared for any eventuality. This way they know they won't be disappointed.
Even when we think we are not "that person" (guarded and expecting the worst), sad reality is, if we weathered some seriously devastating events, we are.
I've never made a secret of the fact that I see life as a "harsh landscape". There are no cotton candy clouds and pink unicorns in my perception of the world. Instead , there is  possible danger/unpleasantness/deceit at every turn.
It doesn't mean I treat everyone with suspicion. But I do treat everyone and everything with caution.
This doesn't prevent me from enjoying others. Rather,I am constantly aware that they might have their own agenda, of which I am completely unaware and which may or may not be harmless to me.
It doesn't work to please others: people liking or disliking you is not a rational process. Some people will dislike you no matter what, and others love you shortcomings, flaws and all. It's more important to do your best, and accept what happens.
People will let you down. Not everyone, but most. Life is full of big and small disappointments. If you are the person who does what they say they'll do, you probably expect the same from others. The truth is, some people don't keep their word (often because they didn't mean what they said to start with) or do what is right. I no longer stress about it-it's just a fact of life.
People do play favorites: sometimes it isn't "what", but "who" you know that counts. We all have our little "fan clubs" of people who will support us and our agendas simply because they like us... Often for no reason (see above). Often they do what they honestly think is the best for us and completely miss the mark. It happens. Just another fact of life.

The trick for successful journey is not to treat every event (no matter how devastating it seems at the time) as the end of the world. It's incredibly hard sometimes, but it is doable. Such cliche, but time IS the best healer of them all. This (whatever it happens to be), too shall pass