Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Attitudes towards prostitutes

I am one of those people who like to gather and analyse data of various kinds. I find human beings utterly fascinating and am forever trying to figure out what "makes them tick" (motivations behind actions).
Some of that analysis helps in my line of work.
Just last week I was on a road trip to a small rural area of New Zealand. When travelling for work to small towns, I always place a newspaper ad in advance, as that's where most people find escorts in those areas.
I've been to this particular town, New Plymouth, a few months before and really liked it.
One thing that I found unusual (and that only happened in that particular town) is some guys would text me and ask me out (as in on a date). Now, remember, they got my number from a newspaper ad, under "adult entertainment", which is a section for paid escorts (prostitution is decriminalised in NZ, so there is no "beating around the bush"), they've never seen me or even spoken to me, yet they find it perfectly acceptable to text me and ask me out for a coffee or a drink.
Clearly, they want to have sex, they just don't want to pay for it and they assume since I "do sex" for a living, I'd be an easier target than, say, a girl next door, who will probably want "relationship".
This time something even more interesting happened, so I will give a blow-by-blow account.
I received a text around 8am first day I was there. It read something like that (I didn't save it, damn it):" Hey,i hope it's you.I accidentally deleted ur number from my phone.How is it going,lots of single ladies there?"
As I quote this guy's texts, I'll try to preserve his syntax and punctuation.
I was puzzled by the text, so asked who that was and where he got my number. He answered:"Oh, wrong number. Messed up the digits". Now there IS a very small (minuscule,really) chance that it was really the case, but seriously: I got a text from someone in Taranaki on the first day my newspaper ad went live there just 2 hours after the paper was delivered and it's a "wrong number"?
Wait, there is more :). Then I got another text from him saying:"Who is this,anyway?". I told him I was an escort and my number was in the paper. He replied:"Oh, I have no use for those. I hear they charge a fortune and you don't get what you've paid for". I simply replied with my prices. He said: "Oh,fuck that".
Well, I thought that was the end of it (that's why I didn't save those early texts), but it got interesting 5 days later. Now, these texts I DID save, as they make for a really good case study.
When I got back to Wellington (5 days later) I got a text-I didn't realise it was from the same guy at first:"Hey u :-D hey wot do u look like?;-) cos i gng dwn to the 7s nxt fri and if idnt fnd sum foreign bird thhen i mite need u to play with haha :-b" It was clear to me that whomever text me was from Taranaki (I assumed he was trying to arrange a booking), so I just replied that I'll be in Melbourne next Fri.
He text back:"Got any cute single m8s in welingtn?:-)".Now, this was a bit annoying-I replied that all my friends are professional escorts and he could view their photos/profiles on under "Wellington escorts".
His reply was short:"Mud". I left it at that, but he wasn't done. A minute later I got this from him:"No1 in nzs a professional m8 lmfao. u go to vegas and LA where thres lawyers and real estate agents on milions a year. thts wot u call a professional lmao. nz ppl who make wat they thnk is big $ are jst wannabe professionals".
Now I WAS laughing. Those of you who read my entire blog know that's EXACTLY what I was: a Real Estate Agent in Las Vegas before I moved to NZ. I was in a very good mood that night (something very nice happenned in my life duting the day AND I had a hot and steamy bi-double that evening), so decided to continue with this guy. I text him back explaining that I've been, in fact, a Realtor in Las Vegas as well as professional courtesan.
Here's his responce:"Wat u want.a fckn medal or sumit?? Americans are fckups ae".
I replied saying that I wasn't American, I just lived and worked there. I told him I was Russian and he would've known that if he actually read the blog and the ad.
His final reply was:"Ad?? Ad for wot exactly??Wateva ur on about.cya".
I wasn't going to bother texting him again.
So let's analyse the situation. I am going to present my take on it, but I am not an oracle of gospel truth, so I definitely welcome comments and opinions :)
This guy clearly got my number from the newspaper ad in Taranaki. It appears he has aversion to paying for sex-he probably thinks it's "beneath him" or makes him a "lesser man". He  probably thinks that people who do pay for it are desperate and classes them as "losers". He doesn't want to appear to be a "loser" himself.
So he devises a "clever" (he thinks) plan: let's text WG, pretend it's a wrong number and try to "chat her up".
He is quite persistent, as he clearly saved my number and text me again 5 days later.
In that second text, he attempts to "put me down" and "show me my place", as he tells me how he "might need to play with me", but only if he doesn't find "some foreign bird" first, thus implying that I am a second or even third choice. This tells me a lot about his attitude towards women in general-remember, this man has never seen me, never spoken to me and knows nothing about me. He probably viewed that text as "playful" himself,as he peppered it with "smiley faces" and "haha"'s.
When I tell him that all my friends are paid escorts, his only reply is "mud". So he despises WLs, yet he doesn't mind having sex with them for free (as he clearly indicated in his previous text).
His next text is very revealing: he talks (with envy) of American lawyers and Realtors, saying that they are "true" professionals because they make millions a year (clearly he has very vague idea of what "professional" means). He also puts New Zealanders down, despite of the fact that he is a Kiwi himself. That shows low self-esteem and deep dissatisfaction with one's environment. All the "smiley faces" are gone now.
Quite clearly, he didn't anticipate my next responce (where I told him I was a Realtor in Las Vegas). Now he is very angry (as indicated by multiple question marks-indication of a raised voice- in his reply) and unhappy that some "ho" is challenging him. As he doesn't know how to reply, he goes on the defensive and says that Americans are "fuckups" (when just a few minutes ago he hailed them as "true professionals").
And the last and most telling bit is his last text, when he is indignant that I've caught him: he denies ever seeing my ad and terminates the conversation...LOL..
This was very entertaining for me. And very telling.


  1. Can I link a youtube version of duelling banjos ? In the case of this particular sad yokel from the Naki I think it should be the Steve Martin/Muppet Show version !

    If only he knew what a treat he missed by trading insults with this particular "ho" (referring to the intelligent company of course !)

  2. Hi Yana, I guess that there are as many reasons for buying sex as there are buyers on the planet. I recently read a great book on sex and prostitution called Sniper Missions The business of war and the war of business (only on Amazon) where the author, who seems to have been a human trafficker in Yugoslavia,and who sold women all over Europe, made the point that sex for sale is entertainment only. Any other interpretation is due to religion (incidentally he is an atheist - hard core) What is your view as an "entertainer?"