Thursday, January 27, 2011

I had sex with a hobbit

Oh,yes, I did, I really did.
"The Hobbit" (a sequel to the famous "Lord Of The Rings" film) is due to start filming in Wellington this month and, apparently,crews,actors,extras,etc are starting to arrive.
I was sent on an "outcall" to one of  the more "upscale" boutique hotels.
The door was opened by a person who stood less than a meter tall (I kid you not). He was the size of an average toddler:complete with tiny feet and hands. He had his little boots sitting next to bed-they HAD  to be custom made.
Now, I've seen it all, so didn't even pause or flinch. Just went in and proceeded with the usual formalities: collecting the $$, calling the agency,etc
He told me he is a stunt man for "The Hobbit". I've never actually seen the movie (I tried,I really did,but it's just not my cup of tea), so not sure what stunt man's job would be in it.
I know, I know, the burning question-size of his dick...LOL..
It was a little smaller than average for a "regular" man: I used shield 49, which is a smaller sized condom normally used on Asian men.
I wasn't at all freaked out-the whole thing just seemed funny. He had to hoist himself up on the bed and I wasn't sure how much pressure to apply during the massage (apparently, he is very durable :)
He was very clean (which I appreciate above all in a client) and didn't want anything extra special-just standard routine pretty much.
Little shit shortchanged me as well. Normally it never happens to me,as I lay money on the bed/table bill by bill and count it with the punter. But the whole "little person thing" was distracting..
When I asked for money ($170 for an hour), he handed it to me saying "Here is $180". I told him I didn't have $10 change and even looked in my wallet to check. He told me not to worry and I just took the money without counting and put it in my wallet. Almost at the same time he was hading me the phone so I can call the agency and I was telling him that I use me own mobile. Clearly, he purposefully created a series of distractions-probably not his first rodeo..Hehehehe
I always put each "job's" money in a separate compartment. When I looked at it later, in the lobby, while waiting for a car, I saw that he gave me two fifty dollar bills with a fiver laid between them and two twenties. I still had to give the agency their $70, so was shortchanged $25.
In this particular case I didn't even got upset, as it was well worth entertainment value.
This was me first "little person" ever and a hobbit at that! Tick!

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