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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Do I regret becoming a working girl?

The short answer is "no", not at all. Probably because I didn't go into it for the wrong reasons-I've never done any drugs, so didn't have to support a drug habit, I was never an alcoholic, I didn't need the money to support a boyfriend,etc,etc.
I went into it for the money and I always treated it as a job and approached it professionally. It was and still is the only job out there that is does not require a big start-up costs or set-up and provides instant CASH income that greatly exceeds your average salary.
Fact is,although I posses no unique talents, I've always had a knack for generating income and quickly adapt and learn new skills. Ever since I was very young, I knew this was one of the ways to support myself and be independent. And I've always wanted to be independent.
I've seen too many of my female friends and acquaintances loose their identity in their husbands/boyfriends and become completely dependent on them. As a result, when those husbands/boyfriends betrayed them and left them for "newer model" they were completely lost, unable to support themselves financially and had no marketable skills.
I was never going to be one of those women. Ever.
The job actually enabled me to achieve my career goals,as it provided enough income while I was studying and setting myself up in business.
The reason I was able to continue in this business for so long is that I always kept the boundaries between "work" and "real life" clear. There was never any blurring or interloping.
People ask me if it is hard for me as a lesbian  provide sexual services for men. It's not any harder or easier than doing any other job.
Look at it this way: when I was a waitress or even a Realtor, some days I absolutely did not relish the thought of going into work, never mind actually interacting with customers. Yet I put on my uniform and make-up and went through the service and no one was the wiser.
That's what professionalism is-you don't "cowboy" your way through the job. You take time to learn how to do it well, every nuance,lay out a plan in you head and design the steps. And then you just do it step by step, going through the motions until you perfect your trade. After you've done it enough times, you can do it on "auto pilot",without even thinking much about it. It is the mark of a true professional. That and ability to cope with unexpected situations and come up with split-second solutions, which comes with experience.
It does not mean that I go about doing the job mechanically. Not at all. That is all part of being a true courtesan-you make the client believe,you play into his fantasy. But once he is gone and the job is over, I am in a completely different world and a completely different person.
You also need to recognise when to take time off, because it IS very hard work and it affects you both physically and mentally. Some days I feel as if not only my body, but my mind is tired as well.
To be successful in this field, one needs to be disciplined and organised,as you are self-employed. It is so easy not to go to work,first for a day,then several,then a week.. And then you have no money to pay the rent/bills and you rush in,needing to make several hundred dollars and, sure enough, it is a "bad day" and you can't make any money.
That's why it is so important to put money away, to budget,to plan for a "bad" day,even "bad" week.
As I grew up in Soviet Russia,where back in the day we didn't have credit system at all and all the salaries were paid in cash bi-weekly, I've learned how to budget and save early on: if you run out of cash back then, you couldn't charge anything or use overdraft (those facilities simply didn't exist), so you simply had to go without until the next payday. This helped me a lot: I've always had money put away and never,ever went to work desperately needing to make a certain amount.
I also think that clients can "smell" desperation, just like animals can smell fear and they will shamelessly take advantage given half a chance,bargaining the prices down and asking for "extras" for free or at a discount price.
As time went on, I also found the Job rewarding in several aspects. Sometimes I really helped lonely guys. Yes, they wanted sex, but more than anything they wanted companionship.
For a couple of years when I lived in Vegas I went to see this 68-year old named Jim. I met him at Olympic Gardens. He lived in Mesquite (about 45 min drive from Las Vegas) and he couldn't really afford much, but I actually enjoyed his company and was willing to make a trip for $200. I usually did it on my day off, so there was no revenue lost. We'd have a couple of drinks, dinner sometimes, conversation. Sex itself didn't take long. Jim died unexpectedly of a heart attack (NOT while having sex with me :)
At times I felt I was helping clients maintain a healthy marriage. As I was always clear that this is just a job, I had some very loyal regulars who really appreciated that. They knew I would never want to date or marry them in "real" life, I would never attempt to blackmail them or try to tell their wives what they were up to. Those were sexless marriages, where they stayed together for the sake of the kids or because divorce was too expensive,or because the passion was long gone, but people still have respect for each other and wanted to be together, but there was not even a trace of romance left.
Some of those clients I've had for years and they trusted me enough to buy properties from me to add to their investment portfolio and even introduce me to their wives (as their Realtor,of course).
As time went by, I also found a certain degree of satisfaction in having control over men. Shortly after I started as a "pro", I realised that men are absolutely driven by their penises. Wanting sex (and lots of it) is all-consuming obsession for them. They plan their entire days/itineraries around getting sex. They are willing to pay a lot of money for it. When they have a hard-on,there are very few things they WON'T do in order to satisfy the urge. They also have what I call "a point of no return"-that's when the satisfaction is within their reach,it's palpable and all the blood has rushed from their head to their penis and they can't think of nothing else. Good example of that is famous arrest of Hugh Grant with Hollywood street walker :))
Yes, I freely admit I used men. But I was always honest and upfront. It was always a business transaction,whether it involved money or other favours/services.
But then, women have used sex and sexuality as currency since time immemorial-I didn't invent the concept.
NEVER,EVER would I entrap men by trying to get pregnant or secretly videotaping the encounter or any other such nonsense. I don't believe in it and absolutely despise women that do it. With me they could always count on straight forward transaction and they always knew what to expect.
That's why I am still friends with many of my past clients,although I live half the world away from them now.

1 comment:

  1. The observation on sexless marriages, and men driven by penises is generally pretty accurate. May not apply to all men but it does to most men.

    Very nice read. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete