Friday, January 28, 2011

Punters' funny (and not so funny) quirks.

There are things clients do that us,working girls absolutely cannot understand and are very annoying. The list is endless, but let's talk about most common ones :)

-Touching girl's hair. I have no idea why guys feel the need to do this, but about 80% of clients try at some point during the booking touch WL's hair. I know long hair is sexy, BUT I always pull  mine back before doing a blow job,as it gets in the way AND punters will actually try to move it to SEE you blowing them. So why do they keep touching it?
Because of this I was never able to wear wigs for this work (I wore them all the time when I worked in restaurants)-inevitably the wig got shifted/pulled off.
The reason we don't like the whole "hair touching" routine is because often times punters want to do this in the middle of the booking, when their hands are sticky with lube and other staff.. And, NO, we don't wash/blow dry/style our hair after every booking.

-Trying to stick their fingers as far up girl's pussy as they can. Who do you think you are-Christopher Columbus?? What are you trying to discover in there?? There is no buried treasure, I assure you. In fact,it's very unpleasant and often painful.

-Asking the girl "What do you like". We are professionals, we do this for a living, it's a JOB. Yes, some girls do actually enjoy sex with the clients (but even they give up when doing 3-8 bookings daily). Personally, I never enjoy it,and the possibility of me actually having an orgasm with the client is negligible (me being a lesbian is  part of it).Once I worked in a parlour where there was this really hot gay receptionist-I was absolutely consumed with lust (she had no idea) and was wet and horny pretty much all the time. So when I went into a booking, I was practically half-way to orgasm as it was. STILL, no punter was able to get me off, even under those circumstances when I would close my eyes and have all sorts of naughty/unsavory images involving me and said receptionist floating through my head...
 However, we play into client's fantasy and provide him with what he needs. After all, he came in and paid good money to satisfy his urges/needs. So relax and get your rocks off! Don't worry about what I like-it's irrelevant under the circumstances. My reply usually is: "I like $100 bills and puppy dogs. Have you got one of those? It will make me very happy".

-Slapping girl's pussy. That MUST come from watching all that porn. It does absolutely nothing for the girl and I can hardly see what the purpose of it is.

-Rubbing girl's clit directly,vigorously and extensively. Clit is very sensitive. It shouldn't even be approached directly at first. Putting your rough fingers with ragged edged nails on it and rubbing it hard is EXTREMELY unpleasant! Again, must be all those porn videos.

-Insisting on intercourse when it's clear they are not hard enough. Personally, I've never had any kids and my vagina is quite tight. If the guy is not fully erect, it just won't happen-he won't be able to penetrate. Instead we would engage in this fumbling/awkward/embarrassing dance which would've been easily avoided if he just let me do my job.

-Trying to move/shift the girls around like a raggedy Ann doll instead of simply asking for certain positions. We are not mind readers-trying to pull on my leg or tap on it tells me absolutely nothing. Besides, me receiving oral is EXTRA and it costs more $$. Articulate your request!

-Not pulling out when orgasmed, but trying to keep on pumping in hopes to get hard again and have a second go without girl noticing. It is dangerous-you are risking yours and girl's health and life (see my "Attitudes towards condoms" post). Full condom and penis that is not fully erect is a bad combination: condom will slip or burst later. Don't be a cheap prick-negotiate the "second time" deal and let the girl put fresh condom on.

-Not turning up for appointments and not calling to cancel. Again, this is our job, this is how we make a living-it only takes 30 sec to call or text!

-Lying about bookings/girls requested. This one is my personal "favorite". I'll illustrate with an example. Client made a booking with me through the reception on the phone. This particular agency has excellent website with multiple current photos of all the girls, so there is no guessing-you see exactly what you getting before you even set foot in the parlour. Booking was for 3:30pm. 2 other girls were working with me that day. Location:private apartment in Wellington CBD. No one showed up or called. At 4:10pm the doorbell rang. A younger girl opened the door. Client told her he had a booking with her. It was her first day, so she didn't verify the name and just took him into the room. 2 min later another client showed up and he DID have an appointment for an hour with that young girl-he was just running late. The first guy was already undressed. Girl, being new, was confused and she blurted out to the guy #2 that she has another booking in 45 min.
I had to call the reception (located off-site) and try and make sense of the situation. Then I questioned guy #1.
Turns out, guy #1 was MY 3:30 booking. Not only was he extremely late (40 min), but when Tara opened the door he decided that he wanted her instead. It would have been perfectly fine (we can juggle things pretty good), had he explained that to us. Instead he just went into her room. AND he only wanted 15 min booking! So now guy #2 left in all the confusion/room shifting (1 hour booking lost for Tara) AND he was upset (understandably so), guy #1 didn't get to be with Tara-we put him with little Chinese girl, so he didn't get what he wanted,either and neither Tara,nor I or the agency made any money except for lousy $60 from guy #1. All that could be easily avoided with honesty and proper communication.

-Another "favorite" is when the client stands/sits literally half a metre away from you and asks how old you are. What does it matter?? The merchandise is in front of, close enough you can smell it, definitely see all of it. You either like what you see or you don't. If I say I'm 50 or 20, what difference will it make? When I am shopping, if I like the garment (i.e.colour,fit,shape,etc), I will buy regardless of which year it was manufactured. However, if I don't like it, the fact that it is very popular designer's latest collection jem is not going to persuade me to fork over the cash.
Same when they look at your tits,even touch them and still ask if they're real. What's the difference-you either like what you see/feel or you don't. I happen to have breast enhancements, but they were done over 13 years ago,under the muscle by best surgeon in Las Vegas. Even when I point out the scar,one can barely see it and it is located in an unusual place-"hidden in plain sight", one might say. And,yes, they are "mine"-I didn't just strap them on!

-Not understanding the concept of "appointment"-a problem unique to New Zealand. Punters here just don't get it. They ring and ask who's on, then just turn up whenever and get upset when most of the girls or the one they wanted are booked. Well, hello! What did you expect?? Or they ring and want to come over NOW. When I politely explain to them that I "take appointments" they ask if they can make an appointment for..yes, you guessed it, NOW.. Guys, "appointment" means some day/time in the future. At least 1 hour or more away. NOT 10 min from now.

-Trying to pull condom off when the girl is not watching and have unprotected sex. Certain country produces a lot of guys who seem to engage in this (they are also the ones who like very young girls and the most un-desirable punter for every WL in every country).

-Clients who try to impress WLs with their physique/penis size/sexual stamina/amount of money they make/their overall importance. Look, you've paid me whatever amount of dollars-I am sufficiently impressed. We are not on a date. We will not get married and have children together. Focus on your pleasure and don't waste your energy trying to impress me. Please.
Having said that, I do appreciate clients who want to have an intelligent conversation on variety of subjects (be that politics,history,theater)-I enjoy stimulating my mind and always like to hear other people's views/opinions.

-Clients who come to clubs/parlours looking for a girlfriend. Mate, this is the LAST place on earth who want to look for one! At best, the girl is honest and will just turn you down (and rejection is always unpleasant), at worst, the girl will pretend to go with it and will take as much money/goods/whatever from you as she can before she buggers off. "Pretty woman" is just that-a pretty, FICTIONAL story that has no basis in reality. besides, what are the chances that you look like Richard Gere?


How and why I left Russia

I love my country (Russia) very much. Not a month goes by when I don't think about it (and I have been away for over 20 years now) and wonder if I should  stayed. My country went through hell and maybe I could make a difference, because sometimes one person can,even against insurmountable odds..
Those were turbulent times. Perestroika..Glasnost.. Everything we were taught from an early age (and that goes generations back) was getting destroyed and demolished. Yet nothing new was getting built in place of it and, what's even more important, no one seem to have a clue as what to build, how to build it and what to offer as a new model to replace the old one.
Back then travelling abroad was a challenging proposition. It was extremely hard to obtain visas and what was called "foreign passport" (a Russian national's passport issued specifically for travelling abroad).
The problem was two-fold. First, you had to have someone from foreign country send you "an invitation"-a formal invitation for you to visit,stating their address, occupation and desired length of visit.
Clearly,as Russia was behind the "Iron Curtain" for so long, none of us had any friends abroad.
With "invitation" in hand, we then had to submit the paperwork to "OVIR"-office that handled all issues dealing with foreign travel. OVIR took literally months and, sometimes,years to issue foreign passports and visas. Often they just declined the application without explaining the reasons.
Those reasons could be numerous. If OVIR,after running a background check on you, determined that you might defect,they denied your application. Also, it was commonly known in Soviet Russia that being Jewish pretty much precluded you from travelling anywhere out of the country and effectively kept you from moving too far up the corporate ladder.
This started with Stalin's paranoia and well-documented mass eradication of Jews.
Later, as many Jewish families had relatives abroad,they were classed categorically as  "flight risk" and their applications for foreign travel were automatically declined.
The standard application in Russia back then (including those for employment and University) listed "nationality" as fifth question/paragraph. So it was common saying back then that one's "fifth paragraph" prevented them from travelling.
A lot of Jewish people bribed the clerks and changed their nationality to "Russian" in their passports. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't, but it definitely backfired  in the early 90's when there was a mass exodus of Jews from Russia to Israel and those who falsely listed their nationality as "Russian" in their passports had a devil of a time proving their heritage and gaining entry to Israel.
In my forth year of University I've met a group of tourists from US. It was a group of older people who called themselves "A Friendship Society"- they basically traveled all over at their own expense and made friends. Nice gig if you can afford it..LOL..
As I was studying at Foreign Languages University and majored in English, and was called to translate for a lot of visiting businessmen,tourists,etc. Back then hardly anyone spoke English in Russia (and especially in Azerbaijan, where I lived).
I became friendly with one couple in particular and 3 months after they left, at my mother's urging, wrote to them, asking for "invitation".
They sent me one a couple of months later.
My parents lived in Moscow, so I submit my application into OVIR over there.
In the meantime I got involved with a married man (see my post "Life is messy") and survived the war ("How I survived a war").
My boyfriend's 5 year quest for permission to move to US to be re-united with his younger brother has finally came to fruition-him and his family (wife,mother,2 sons) were definitely moving.
At the same time I was nearing my graduation and had to decide where I want to work/live,etc.
Then right before my birthday, in June, I got a call from my mother, saying that OVIR has approved my visa and issued my foreign passport. My parents were actively urging me to go to US. I found out years later that,being children of the war (World War II), they both could sense that something "will have to give" in Russia and soon (events of the next few years proved them right) and they wanted me to be away, so they wouldn't have to worry about me. It's a tough one,as it is selfish and caring all at the same time.
Next step was obtaining an entry visa from US Embassy in Moscow. Live queue for about 3-4 hours and then I was interviewed by an immigration clerk. US immigration was not very keen to let young single people into the country,as they represented huge "overstay" risk. What worked for me is that I was married (it was a sham marriage, on paper only and never consummated and is a subject to a whole different chapter). Back then in Russia they stamped your passport with a proper seal,indicating just that ("married") as soon as you tied the knot. My "husband" was nowhere near, not even in the same city, but the clerk had no way of knowing that and I got US entry visa based on the assumption that I'm a married woman who would, most certainly, come back to her husband. What a barrel of laughs that was!
I sat my State exams in July and graduated with Honours (back then it was signified with a "red diploma"-my diploma's colour was actually red, vs the blue-covered ones that everyone else has received). I now had Master's Degree in English (ESL teacher) and Psychology.
The next hurdle was buying a plane ticket. Not at all simple.
To purchase the ticket to a foreign country using Russian currency (roubles) one had to be put on the list and the wait was almost a year. You had to go at least once a month to a "live queue" where they actually called the names out loud and you had to be present to answer when your name was called. If you weren't there, your name got crossed off the list and you had to start at the bottom.
One could purchase a ticket with foreign currency without any wait, but foreign currency was illegal to possess in Russia and if you tried to buy anything with it, you would be arrested, questioned and, most likely, imprisoned.
Although my Dad travelled abroad regularly as a coach of Soviet National team in yachting and was allowed to exchange money while abroad, ALL foreign currency had to be exchanged back to roubles upon arrival to Russia. Of course, he held some back and stashed it, but not nearly enough to buy plane ticket from Moscow to New York.
I got a lucky break,as that summer Aeroflot decided to introduce "half-and-half" pricing, where one could pay half in roubles and half in foreign currency for the ticket. I had to queue for that one for about 2 hours, but I did get it! I was now definitely on my way.
I left Russia on August 12, 1991 with 2 bags containing my clothes and some Russian souvenirs to give away as presents, $300US in my pocket and just a visitor visa allowing me 3 months stay (that did NOT give me right to work).
 Oh, how nice it is to be young and full of yourself and think that you are invincible. These days, I would've NEVER,EVER considered such an undertaking,as I know all too well all the pitfalls and dangers. But that's the beauty of not having enough life experience-you take more chances :)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I had sex with a hobbit

Oh,yes, I did, I really did.
"The Hobbit" (a sequel to the famous "Lord Of The Rings" film) is due to start filming in Wellington this month and, apparently,crews,actors,extras,etc are starting to arrive.
I was sent on an "outcall" to one of  the more "upscale" boutique hotels.
The door was opened by a person who stood less than a meter tall (I kid you not). He was the size of an average toddler:complete with tiny feet and hands. He had his little boots sitting next to bed-they HAD  to be custom made.
Now, I've seen it all, so didn't even pause or flinch. Just went in and proceeded with the usual formalities: collecting the $$, calling the agency,etc
He told me he is a stunt man for "The Hobbit". I've never actually seen the movie (I tried,I really did,but it's just not my cup of tea), so not sure what stunt man's job would be in it.
I know, I know, the burning question-size of his dick...LOL..
It was a little smaller than average for a "regular" man: I used shield 49, which is a smaller sized condom normally used on Asian men.
I wasn't at all freaked out-the whole thing just seemed funny. He had to hoist himself up on the bed and I wasn't sure how much pressure to apply during the massage (apparently, he is very durable :)
He was very clean (which I appreciate above all in a client) and didn't want anything extra special-just standard routine pretty much.
Little shit shortchanged me as well. Normally it never happens to me,as I lay money on the bed/table bill by bill and count it with the punter. But the whole "little person thing" was distracting..
When I asked for money ($170 for an hour), he handed it to me saying "Here is $180". I told him I didn't have $10 change and even looked in my wallet to check. He told me not to worry and I just took the money without counting and put it in my wallet. Almost at the same time he was hading me the phone so I can call the agency and I was telling him that I use me own mobile. Clearly, he purposefully created a series of distractions-probably not his first rodeo..Hehehehe
I always put each "job's" money in a separate compartment. When I looked at it later, in the lobby, while waiting for a car, I saw that he gave me two fifty dollar bills with a fiver laid between them and two twenties. I still had to give the agency their $70, so was shortchanged $25.
In this particular case I didn't even got upset, as it was well worth entertainment value.
This was me first "little person" ever and a hobbit at that! Tick!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Is prostitution legal in Las Vegas?

Contrary to the popular believe-NO. It is a felony offence,punishable by fines and jail term.
If the girl caught and charged with solicitation of prostitution 3 times, she is banned from the Strip.
It is not as simple as it sounds, as "banned" means not allowed to be on the Strip (Las Vegas Blvd) or within half a mile vicinity of it for ANY purpose whatsoever.
As there are a lot of shops,restaurants and even a church on the Strip and one simply needs to cross it in order to travel through town, this ban will effectively lock the girl out of Las Vegas (unless she wants to hang out in suburbs), which is what the purpose of it is.
Prostitution is alive and well, however and is a thriving business in Las Vegas. There are about 120 pages of various "escorts" listed in the phone book-about as many as there are lawyers.
When you call those numbers, you will be informed that the "escort" is for companionship and lap dancing only. If you imply sex for money, they will tell that it is "illegal".
The fee quoted (usually about $120) only covers the girl showing up. ALL of it goes to the agency. The girl negotiates with the client fees for services on her own, assuming all the risks. So what looks like $120 deal to a punter soon becomes about $300-$3000 deal and anything in between.
This causes problems sometimes, as clients don't understand how it works and become upset.
Once,when I worked for outcall escort agency, I was directed to a room in Bally's hotel. In there I found a young man from my agency and a client. Apparently, client wanted to cross dress and be with a man ( for the first time,he claimed) and also wanted to have sex with me and watch myself and the other male escort have sex as well.
We collected $120 a piece for us turning up (so the client was out of pocket $240 so far) and proceeded to negotiate the price. We wanted $400 each on the top of the agency fee (of which, I remind you,we were getting nothing).
I think client was a bit stoned as well, as he just didn't seem to get the concept. He proceeded to dress into a lacy thong and a bra and topped it off with a pair of white patent leather thigh-high boots with 10" heels.
Then he wanted some "action".
Again, we told him we need the $$$ first. He went belligerent. Male escort and I fled the room with the client chasing us half way down the elevator (in the above described getup), until he gave up and just threw one of his boots after us.
A lot of men (even those from US) do not understand that prostitution is not legal in Vegas. After all, it is the "Sin City".
From time to time vice squad sets up traps to catch men soliciting (usually on the streets with decoys pretending to be street walkers). It is a $1000 fine and the arrest and conviction goes on your record (very embarrassing).
Vice routinely sets up operations to catch the girls. They go into clubs and pretend to be paying customers, they go into hotels and ring for escorts..
There is no entrapment law in Las Vegas-it means that if you ask the guy directly "Are you a police officer" he can say "No" and still arrest you later. Vice guys are also allowed to drink alcohol during sting operations to make it look "authentic".
All this makes it very stressful for the girl, as you constantly have to judge the situation not only for "regular" dangers that come with the job, but for potential vice trap as well.
It's a tricky business, as prostitution by definition is "sex in exchange for money", which means that if you just want to go with the customer from the club to his hotel room and fuck him for free, no charge can be laid against you (except,maybe, a "stupid slut", but that's not a punishable offence :)
So if a club client would express interest in "something more", I would play semantics with him, saying that it will "involve a token of appreciation" instead of just quoting the price. Most punters got it and everything would be sorted, however I avoided those who stubbornly insisted on talking about money- I just didn't want to take any risks.
I did get arrested once. It was an outcall from an agency into an off-Strip hotel. The place was newly build, but definitely second-rate.
I should have known something was up when the guy asked me if I wanted something to drink and when I replied "Water,please", he poured tepid water from the tap.
We negotiated the deal and I was sitting on his lap,half-naked with him happily sucking on my tits (oh,yeah, vice takes every advantage of the perks of the job). Suddenly, 2 more guys walked in. I knew at that point that it's probably a trap, but they insisted that they are just "friends" and could they get the same "deal" later. I just said "Whatever" and then they produced their shields and went on with arrest.
They wanted to get me on as many counts as they could-thus 3 of them (3 counts of solicitation of prostitution). They also searched through my bag and even ripped off the lining looking for drugs (that would be a nice bonus for them).
I calmly explained to them that I don't do drugs and their search is in vain.
They were quite surprised at my composure, saying that normally girls started crying and begging to be let go, to which I replied that I am an adult and well aware of possible consequences of my chosen profession. I asked them "If I cry and beg, would you let me go?" They said "No". "So what's the point of wasting all that energy?". We actually ended up having a nice chat: they even showed me their surveillance equipment in the next room and didn't handcuff me when they escorted me out of hotel into their car.
I had to spend the night in a crowded cell in Clark County Detention Center with benches lining the walls, toilet right smack in the middle of it and another half a dozen women. It stank (literally).
I've met some interesting women in there,though. One was this regal looking black woman who attended the Presidential Inauguration in the year past. She was brought in for "assault"-she had a heated argument with another woman in a parking lot of a grocery store that ended in a fistfight.
Another was scared looking young girl who amassed over $1200 in parking tickets and couldn't pay them because she didn't have a job. Ironically, this was her first week on a very plum job as a blackjack dealer at New York New York hotel. She was pulled over in the parking lot for speeding over allocated 20m/h as she didn't want to be late for work.Of course,they immediately saw all the outstanding unpaid tickets on their computer. She probably lost the job.
The whole incident cost me about $1800 for a lawyer/fines and another $800 5 years later to "seal" the record of arrest.

Sometimes things turned just plain funny. Like when I was dancing as a stripper in Olympic Gardens and this guy walked in at about 3 in the afternoon.
Club wasn't at all busy and I approached him and asked if he wants a dance. He immediately agreed, to my delight (no small talk and time wasting).
I sat him down in a booth and started a lap dance when the next song started. Imagine my surprise when I sat on his lap to do "the grind" (with my back towards him) and realised that he unzipped his pants and had his dick out! (that was about 30 seconds into the song).
"What the hell are you doing"??! I asked. He seemed genuinely puzzled. "I want to have sex"..pause...
I had to explain to him that's it's illegal, and,anyway,in the middle of a strip club is hardly the place. Not to mention $20 REALLY wouldn't cover it.
He suggested we immediately go to his hotel..
I was laughing so hard, tears were coming down from my eyes. Turns out,he really thought that he could  just pop into a club in Las Vegas for a "quickie" or go in and select a girl for his pleasure and take her with him (kind of like a grocery store)!
He was quite shocked at the prices as well.
Prostitution IS LEGAL in Nye County-about 45 min drive from Las Vegas in a little town called Pahramp.
That's where world's famous "Chicken Ranch" and "Sherry's Ranch" brothels are. There are few more a little further down towards Reno.
I worked in there as well, but that's a whole other story :)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

How I survived the war

Recent terrorist bombing of Moscow's Int'l airport brought back a flood of memories.

When I was 20 and still lived in Baku, there was a war. A short one, granted, but a war.
Not many people know about it,as Russian government and,specifically president Gorbachev, did everything in their power to cover it up.

I need to sketch a bit of a background first.

Russia back then consisted of "republics". Each republic had its own government, but still was reporting to Central Russian Government and was fully dependent on Russia.
Those republics had their own languages (although Russian was the official language and everyone spoke it) and their own history/background/culture.

The one I lived in was called Azerbaijan and was predominantly Muslim.
Its neighbours were Georgia and Armenia (all three are now independent countries).
Baku was very much multicultural city with people of many nationalities living in harmony side-by-side.
"Mixed" marriages (between Armenians and Azerbaijanis,for instance) were not uncommon, although some families still had frowned upon that.

Trouble started when one of Armenian expats who lived in France declared that there is a portion of land (smack in the middle of Azerbaijan, I might add) that is fully populated by Armenians and thus should be declared Armenian territory. Azerbaijan people didn't take kindly to that.

At first it was nothing but gatherings and a lot of talk. Then talks started to get heated.
This went on for about 5 months. Government did nothing.

Then one day all hell broke loose: news arrived that Armenians were kicking Azerbaijan nationals out of their homes in Armenia and threatening to kill them. Not surprisingly, most of those "partisans" were uneducated people from villages, who wanted to "appropriate" nice flats in the city.
Azerbaijanis decided to respond in kind.

It was pretty ugly. Azerbaijan villains were breaking into the flats and homes known to be occupied by Armenians all over Baku. People were beaten (some to death), kicked out of their homes and their possessions taken.

I witnessed a person being thrown out of 7th story balcony. My boyfriend was driving me home, when,out of the corner of my eye,I saw a movement, I looked up and it was one of those things when you know you should  look away,but you are absolutely transfixed and just cant.
Body landed with a huge thud on the asphalt and I will never forget what it looked like,laying there,no matter how hard I tried.

Back then our nationality was written in our passports (and everyone had to have a passport once they turned 16). Mine was "Russian", my friends were "Jewish", "Armenian",etc.

When all this was going on (for about a week) there were self-proclaimed "patrols" walking through the city and randomly checking passports for nationality. You could be stopped at any time and your passport would be looked at. They dismissed Russians and just ignored us, but Armenians would be in trouble.

Government did nothing still. There was no news coverage,there was no help. Everyone pretended this was not happening.

Many were left homeless and had to flee to Armenia where they had no one and no place to live or means to support themselves.

Many families broke up,as Azerbaijan husbands kicked their Armenian wives (some of many years,even decades) out with their "half-breed" kids.

Then it all settled down,as there was no more Armenians left and those who were still around were in hiding.

About a week passed. We were beginning to breath the sigh of relief.

Then one evening I was watching TV at home when it suddenly went dead. I turned on the radio, but there was nothing but static.
I heard some noises at a distance outside, but couldn't really place them.

Then, about an hour later, radio came to life. The person introduced himself to all as "emergency military commander" of the city. He told us that city is being taken over by Russian Army and to stay inside and not leave our dwellings.

It was the night none of us will forget. Russian troops (sent by president Gorbachev) entered the city with tanks and artillery. They were shooting blindly at everything on their way. Azerbaijanis were scrambling to fight back, but they were not really well armed (some handguns and automatic weapons). It was dark.
Inevitably, a lot of innocent bystanders were killed:mostly women,children and elderly.

Stray bullets were flying everywhere. I spent the night under the bed, trying to avoid those.

Both militants and army were trying to break into citizen's dwellings that were strategically located to set up their snipers-my grandparents lived in one of those,unfortunately, and they had to barricade their doors with a wardrobe.
Tanks went through parking lots,right over the tops of the cars.
It was a total chaos and no one knew what was going on. TV station and tower were blown up. Phones did not work.

By mid-morning next day it was finally quiet.

People were trying to make sense of what was happening. Azerbaijan people (mostly men) were gathering in groups and the general consensus was as follows: Russian president sent his Russian troops to attack us. Now we will kill 5 Russians for every dead Azerbaijan national .

Russians were no longer safe. We were sitting ducks,as the neighbourhoods were very tight knit and everyone knew who everyone was, including their nationality.

Back then not everyone had a phone,cell phones did not exist,there were no computers and even if you were brave enough to venture outside, most street payphones were dead as well.
There was no news coverage of any kind.

It was very unfortunate,as some of those who did have working phones would telephone their relatives and friends in other cities, to let them know what was happening, thus creating more panic.

My parents lived in Moscow. I had no means of contacting them.
My uncle, who lived in Baku, did have a working phone, but he had no idea what was happening with me. He rang my parents, trying to get his own son out of town and my Dad nearly went crazy worrying about me. He was prepared to pay $25K (all his life savings and a huge amount of money in Russia back then) to charter a private plane and try to find me. He told me later that he also planned to get a machine gun and mow down as many Azerbaijanis as he could if he found out that I was dead.

These were the times when true heroes emerged and you found out who your REAL friends are.

My boyfriend risked his life saving his friend's son. The boy was shot by a sniper in his building and was bleeding to death. His mother was frantic,calling an ambulance and they flat out refused to come,as the area was regularly sprayed by bullets. Dan (my boyfriend) drove out there,sat in the car,trying to time the shooting intervals and had run in and dragged the boy out and delivered him to the hospital. Dan had a wife,an older sick mother and 2 kids of his own.

One of my Azerbaijan friends knew I was in trouble. He came over with a "kalagai" (a very large scarf a lot of Muslim women wore). He wrapped me in it and took me out to his car.
There was a group of men standing just outside my building,armed,engulfed in mass hysteria and ready to kill just about anyone. My friend told them in Azerbaijan language that his brother was killed and he is taking his sister (me) home to his mother before he goes out to "kill,kill,kill". They couldn't see my face and weren't able to determine my nationality. Had they discovered the truth, both of us would have been killed instantly. My friend had a family of his own and didn't have to come to my rescue.

My boyfriend's brother took me into his home for the night and then drove me to my girlfriend's place,on the outskirts of town where we were relatively safe.

One of the pilots I had a "nothing" fling with almost a year prior when I worked as a flight attendant went into a great deal of effort to contact me and offer me a place on the plane that him and his friends were going to try and fly without ground control's support (airport was closed) so we can just get out of town. He was married, but he just wanted to help me get out of town,as he knew my life was in danger.

My ex-girlfriend who I've had a huge blow up with several month ago was offering to get me on the next available flight anywhere (she worked at Aeroflot's ticket office).

Our Azerbaijan friends brought us supplies,as most of the stores would not serve Russians or sell them any goods (that included food).

Petrol stations were closed. Trains were not going,as they were attacked passing through the villages.

Back then our banks (called "sbercassa") were not linked to each other. All my life's savings (about $1000 roubles) were locked in Baku's "sbercassa".  It was closed and if I left, I would never see my money again.

Random shootings were erupting all throughout the city, without any warning. There were snipers everywhere.

Military "commander posts" were set up in several locations, occupying Communist Party district head quarter's buildings.
One day I made my way to one of those. There were several Russians standing outside. A young soldier was guarding the door. An older men was pleading with him : "Son,please,you guys have to get us out of here (Baku). We are in danger. We can all get killed". The short reply was: "Not my decision. Commander is not seeing anyone and we have no orders to evacuate anyone".
We had to fend for ourselves.

Eventually (in about 2 weeks time) I was able to get on the plane and fly to Moscow where my parents lived.

In another 2 weeks my boyfriend called from Baku and said they all the troops withdrew. Just like that. He said the tension was still there, but it seemed OK.

I had only 5 months left to finish the University. Without doing so, sitting my exit State exams and completing my thesis, I would not receive a Diploma and my degree would not be complete. 4.5 years of hard work  would be lost.
Against my parents wishes I went back.

I did complete my Degree, but it was tense 5 months. A lot of Azerbaijanis would not speak to Russians or acknowledge them. Some of those people used to be my friends and some I've known for years. They would just look through me, like I wasn't there. A lot of times Azerbaijani clerks refused to serve me in the shops.
When I was "defending" my thesis, I could feel naked hostility from all the Azerbaijani faculty members.

All that was created by a bad decision of one person-president Gorbachev.
He was The Commander In Chief. He ordered the troops to march in and just shoot everything in sight, without the slightest consideration for consequences.

He was a Russian president who left his Russian people for dead. It is my firm believe that he should be tried for the crimes against his country and treason.

Yet he is touring the world,giving paid speeches about peace. I find it very ironic.

Attitudes towards condoms in different countries

Gone are the days when any "bad disease" one picked up could be cured with a shot of penicillin.
AIDS is a reality of life and it is rampant all over the world. There is no cure. You die-it is only a matter of time.
Not only that, but the death is slowly and often painful. A lot of your friends and family will turn away from you, if for not any other reason but simple not knowing how to handle the situation.
If you are in a hospital a lot of nurses (yes,even today) would not want to look after you.
 Your partner would probably be long gone by then.
Disease is not detectable for approximately 3 months, so if you've contracted it, chances are you've infected your partner and, in some cases,your unborn child.
If your employer finds out (and they often do), there is a good chance they would find the way to get rid of you.
People would stare with disapproval.
All that for 10 min of dubious pleasure of "bare back" sex for which you've paid at least $100 extra on the top of the regular price.
Just think about it: if the girl agreed to do it with you, chances are, she does this on a regular basis. Working Girls sees 2-8 clients a day. Many of those clients travel abroad  to countries like Thailand where unprotected sex is the norm and costs next to nothing. Clients who ask for "bare back" usually do it on a regular basis.. In every country..With any willing girl.. So you just paid extra $100 to sleep with ALL of those clients/girls. Still think you are safe because the girl "looks clean"??
AIDS can be contracted through oral sex: if the girls has sores in her mouth or just brushed her teeth before the booking and her gums are bleeding,even if she has a cavity in her tooth.
You can give her disease by ejaculating on her breasts/face:if you "misfire" and the sperm gets into her eyes or mouth aby accident...
Besides AIDS there plenty of other less lethal but not less unpleasant diseases.
For instance, genital herpes, once contracted, will stay with you for life (no cure) and you will infect every partner whom you have unprotected sex with, so you will have to let them know.. Imagine having THAT conversation with the love of your life.
Another very popular disease will make you scream every time you try to take a pee,as it feels like razors are passing through your dick.
Genital warts will effectively prevent you from having ANY sex in the future, as I cannot imagine ANY woman (pro or not) to be willing to deal with THAT.
The list goes on and on.
In America both clients and escorts are well aware of dangers. When a working girl walks through the door, the first question the client asks "Do you have condoms". Several times I've been asked to "double condom" (not a good idea,actually,as rubber-on-rubber breaks condoms).
I don't remember even one instance when I was asked to "bare back". But then,again, my clients were mostly well-to-do married prominent figures and they were not willing to take any chances.
Imagine my shock when I discovered that in NZ men have very cavalier attitude towards disease and seem to be willing to take a lot of chances and play "Russian roulette" with their life and health.
They seem to be absolutely unaware of the dangers and consider it a "great deal" when they are able to talk WL into unprotected sex.
I've read a comment on Adult Forum (NZ website for WLs and punters alike for posting ads,reviews,general discussions, where the guy just kept going on about this escort he had in Dubai where for $200 he had "bare back" sex,unprotected blow job and anal. He honestly thought that was the best deal ever! I couldn't believe it!
I think they should make the movie "Streets Of Philadelphia" required viewing in NZ schools. New Zealanders seem to live a very sheltered life, thinking that none of the world's disasters will affect them. Most of them live in "today" and give very perfunctory thought to "tomorrow".
I must add that,although prostitution was "de-criminalised" in NZ 6 years ago, it is ILLEGAL to have unprotected sex in any shape or form and the punishment is $2000 fine and a prison term.
When I was working in Russia in my teens, AIDS was extremely rare occurrence (and only in gay men at that time), so the use of condoms was mostly to prevent pregnancies from happening. Still, clients preferred to use them, just to avoid complications.
Australian punters are much more aware of what's going on. Although I do occasionally get asked for "bare back", they know that it's wrong,dangerous and illegal and my refusal is normally received with full understanding.
When I worked in Japan, men just didn't want to take any chances at all-condom was a given and I never had to have any discussions about it. In fact, so called "love hotels" (establishments designed specifically for trysts,as space is at a premium in Japan and many families live together in a cramped flats-as in several generations) have 2 condoms on the pillow provided AND a mini vending machine in the room stocked with condoms,lube and dildos.
Stay safe out there-put it on.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Personal hygiene

As a professional escort, I take meticulous care of myself.
My hair is always done (as in coloured,cut,washed and styled).
I get regular pedicures (that's my toenails, but not just nail polish: I have all the rough skin shaved off the bottoms of my feet,scrub them and put moisturising lotions on).
I get facials every 4 weeks and my nails have natural looking acrylic enhancements at all times, so they always look long and well-manicured -no chipped nail polish or half-chewed nails here (they also great for lightly running along the back or the balls:thrilling sensation that gives client goosebumps and is very arousing).
I stay in shape with regular exercise and get massages as well.
I always wear make-up and dress with care.

I could never understand why most men can't be bothered with BASIC hygiene when coming in for service.
Yes, there are exceptions, but they are just that: exceptions.
As a rule, men come in smelling quite badly. I always put them in the shower first, despite the fact that many of them claim to "just had a shower" (yeah,right-I could smell you before you walked through the door almost). They go in, I can hear the water running, they come out dripping wet, so I KNOW they were under the water... Yet when when I lean over them, the smell just hits me in the face. In some cases, smell fills the room in the first few minutes,it is that bad. Sometimes,after they been laying on their backs, they get up at the end of the service and there is a "track" left on the towel (yes, from their unwashed behind). Gross!
I don't think men understand the concept of proper washing up. The fact that you need soap up all the orifices,quite vigorously,before rinsing. Especially if you have untrimmed hair everywhere!
Personally, I shave clean all my hair,except on my head. The reason I started doing this in my teens was-you guessed it-unwanted odor.
I don't believe many men use deodorant or even think it's necessary. Often times they think spritzing a lot of cologne instead is a viable option. WRONG! You just smell like a sweaty horse covered in cologne : nauseating combination. I always cheer for those Lynx deodorant commercials-funny, and they drive a point across,hopefully + make it sound like the guys going to get laid almost immediately after starting using it :)
I used to have a boyfriend who's BO was so bad, it was addressed by the management at his workplace! I kid you not! And still he couldn't think what the problem was and thought that management is just "picking on him".
A lot of parlours where I work place deodorant on the shelf next to the shower: guys it is NOT in interior design item. Use it!
A lot of clients ask for their balls to be licked. They go about it in an interesting manner: they usually ask if I "WANT to lick their their balls" (the honest answer is "hell,no",of course). Depending on the client, my mood and the amount of money involved, I sometimes say "No,not really" and point out the fact that it is a hairy smelly nest. I suggest that next time they shave/wax them before coming to see me and apply copious amounts of soap in the shower and THEN I might consider the licking.
And how about unkempt nails with ragged edges. Woman's pussy is her prised possession. It is soft and delicate and sensitive. If you gonna stick your fingers there, make sure you at least clip your nails (better option is to file them as well).

Bad breath is another common offender. Most of the punters want GFE (girlfriend experience) which involves French kissing. Although many girls charge extra for that, it usually seems to be the hardest point to negotiate,especially in NZ-clients want it to be included in the basic price. Well, then make sure you don't smell like you've just been drinking from a sewer!
I brush my teeth regularly and always pop the mint before starting the service. I will be happy to give client one of my mints, but they seldom ask.
Don't even get me started on the horrible condition of their feet, with cracked dry skin that snags on the sheets and gnarly toenails. It's the stuff nightmares made out of.

Punters need to realise that if they are clean,good smelling and with the hair trimmed in all the right places, WL will be willing to give them so much more for their $$$ (commonly referred to as "good mileage" in my profession).

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Do I regret becoming a working girl?

The short answer is "no", not at all. Probably because I didn't go into it for the wrong reasons-I've never done any drugs, so didn't have to support a drug habit, I was never an alcoholic, I didn't need the money to support a boyfriend,etc,etc.
I went into it for the money and I always treated it as a job and approached it professionally. It was and still is the only job out there that is does not require a big start-up costs or set-up and provides instant CASH income that greatly exceeds your average salary.
Fact is,although I posses no unique talents, I've always had a knack for generating income and quickly adapt and learn new skills. Ever since I was very young, I knew this was one of the ways to support myself and be independent. And I've always wanted to be independent.
I've seen too many of my female friends and acquaintances loose their identity in their husbands/boyfriends and become completely dependent on them. As a result, when those husbands/boyfriends betrayed them and left them for "newer model" they were completely lost, unable to support themselves financially and had no marketable skills.
I was never going to be one of those women. Ever.
The job actually enabled me to achieve my career goals,as it provided enough income while I was studying and setting myself up in business.
The reason I was able to continue in this business for so long is that I always kept the boundaries between "work" and "real life" clear. There was never any blurring or interloping.
People ask me if it is hard for me as a lesbian  provide sexual services for men. It's not any harder or easier than doing any other job.
Look at it this way: when I was a waitress or even a Realtor, some days I absolutely did not relish the thought of going into work, never mind actually interacting with customers. Yet I put on my uniform and make-up and went through the service and no one was the wiser.
That's what professionalism is-you don't "cowboy" your way through the job. You take time to learn how to do it well, every nuance,lay out a plan in you head and design the steps. And then you just do it step by step, going through the motions until you perfect your trade. After you've done it enough times, you can do it on "auto pilot",without even thinking much about it. It is the mark of a true professional. That and ability to cope with unexpected situations and come up with split-second solutions, which comes with experience.
It does not mean that I go about doing the job mechanically. Not at all. That is all part of being a true courtesan-you make the client believe,you play into his fantasy. But once he is gone and the job is over, I am in a completely different world and a completely different person.
You also need to recognise when to take time off, because it IS very hard work and it affects you both physically and mentally. Some days I feel as if not only my body, but my mind is tired as well.
To be successful in this field, one needs to be disciplined and organised,as you are self-employed. It is so easy not to go to work,first for a day,then several,then a week.. And then you have no money to pay the rent/bills and you rush in,needing to make several hundred dollars and, sure enough, it is a "bad day" and you can't make any money.
That's why it is so important to put money away, to budget,to plan for a "bad" day,even "bad" week.
As I grew up in Soviet Russia,where back in the day we didn't have credit system at all and all the salaries were paid in cash bi-weekly, I've learned how to budget and save early on: if you run out of cash back then, you couldn't charge anything or use overdraft (those facilities simply didn't exist), so you simply had to go without until the next payday. This helped me a lot: I've always had money put away and never,ever went to work desperately needing to make a certain amount.
I also think that clients can "smell" desperation, just like animals can smell fear and they will shamelessly take advantage given half a chance,bargaining the prices down and asking for "extras" for free or at a discount price.
As time went on, I also found the Job rewarding in several aspects. Sometimes I really helped lonely guys. Yes, they wanted sex, but more than anything they wanted companionship.
For a couple of years when I lived in Vegas I went to see this 68-year old named Jim. I met him at Olympic Gardens. He lived in Mesquite (about 45 min drive from Las Vegas) and he couldn't really afford much, but I actually enjoyed his company and was willing to make a trip for $200. I usually did it on my day off, so there was no revenue lost. We'd have a couple of drinks, dinner sometimes, conversation. Sex itself didn't take long. Jim died unexpectedly of a heart attack (NOT while having sex with me :)
At times I felt I was helping clients maintain a healthy marriage. As I was always clear that this is just a job, I had some very loyal regulars who really appreciated that. They knew I would never want to date or marry them in "real" life, I would never attempt to blackmail them or try to tell their wives what they were up to. Those were sexless marriages, where they stayed together for the sake of the kids or because divorce was too expensive,or because the passion was long gone, but people still have respect for each other and wanted to be together, but there was not even a trace of romance left.
Some of those clients I've had for years and they trusted me enough to buy properties from me to add to their investment portfolio and even introduce me to their wives (as their Realtor,of course).
As time went by, I also found a certain degree of satisfaction in having control over men. Shortly after I started as a "pro", I realised that men are absolutely driven by their penises. Wanting sex (and lots of it) is all-consuming obsession for them. They plan their entire days/itineraries around getting sex. They are willing to pay a lot of money for it. When they have a hard-on,there are very few things they WON'T do in order to satisfy the urge. They also have what I call "a point of no return"-that's when the satisfaction is within their reach,it's palpable and all the blood has rushed from their head to their penis and they can't think of nothing else. Good example of that is famous arrest of Hugh Grant with Hollywood street walker :))
Yes, I freely admit I used men. But I was always honest and upfront. It was always a business transaction,whether it involved money or other favours/services.
But then, women have used sex and sexuality as currency since time immemorial-I didn't invent the concept.
NEVER,EVER would I entrap men by trying to get pregnant or secretly videotaping the encounter or any other such nonsense. I don't believe in it and absolutely despise women that do it. With me they could always count on straight forward transaction and they always knew what to expect.
That's why I am still friends with many of my past clients,although I live half the world away from them now.

Being a Working Girl in Soviet Russia

It was a tricky business,that's for sure. Russian Communist Government claimed that prostitution did not exist in Russia. Pretty bold statement, when you consider the fact that it IS, in fact, the world's oldest profession and the one that survived wars,famine,drought,floods and rise and fall of whole empires.

Working Girls came in 2 categories: those who did it from time to time,locally and within a small circle of clients and "interdevochki" which translates loosely as "international girls".

Interdevochki were seasoned pros, who all knew each other and  worked out of the bars of the "Intourist" hotels
-those specifically designated by Russian government for foreign tourist's stay. Those hotels were posh, inaccessible to Russian travelers and accepted foreign currency only as payment.

Being in possession of foreign currency by average Russian citizen was a crime in itself, unless one could prove that it was obtained  legitimately; for instance, my father was a Chief Coach for Soviet Yachting Team and traveled abroad regularly. He routinely brought back foreign money.

The only currency trading shops were located inside "Intourist" hotels and if an average Joe attempted to trade in there, police would be called and he would be extensively questioned and quite possibly imprisoned.
That paired with the fact that prostitution was illegal as well made "interdevochki"'s job very dangerous indeed.

They usually went into "Intourist" hotel's bars to "have a drink" and score a customer. It involved bribing a manager and a bartender and there was no guarantee that those will not report the girls to the police AFTER taking their money.

Once the contact with potential client was made,the "couple" usually had dinner and then went up to the room. Every floor had a desk and a "floor manager" (usually a woman) who monitored comings and goings. She had to be bribed as well. Again, a lot of times the manager would accept the bribe and then call the cops.

As the act of prostitution itself could not be proven,police tried catching girls exiting room/hotel with foreign currency in their bag. That was considered sufficient proof.

Most of the girls were known to the police and a lot of bribery took place. Everyone was making money while the girls were the only ones who actually "put out" to earn it.

The biggest goal of every "interdevochka" was to get a foreigner to fall in love with her, marry her and take her out of Russia. Some were successful. An sometimes it ended tragically.

I was never an "interdevochka". My town was way too small: we only had one "Intourist" hotel and it would become known very quickly that I was a prostitute.

Instead, I was content with my friend Nellie's circle of punters. Among them some prominent members of Communist Party, successful directors of major factories, deans of students of prestigious universities and just plain rich middle-aged fucks.

Accommodation was another issue: back then one couldn't just check into a hotel.
There wasn't that many of them to begin with and for a local to do so would raise all kinds of questions and suspicions. So few enterprising women (some single, some married) were renting rooms to punters in their apartments on occasion. They were known to both punters and WLs. In fact, it is through them that "the dates" were often organised.

Punter would ring the "madam" and express his desire to see someone on a certain day/time. The woman would then ring whatever WLs she knew to find out who was available for that specific day/time. Arrangements would be made, the girl and the client would meet at the flat and "do the deed". "Madame" would receive about $10 roubles for her trouble (considering that average monthly salary in Russia back then was 100 roubles,this was quite profitable business).

Punters who were really rich and/or held high posts with the government usually had an opulent flat in the city (where they lived with their wives and kids) AND out-of-town villas (where they visited only occasionally). Often times the "dates" took place in those villas.

I turned tricks about 2-3 times a month on an average. It was difficult for me to get away,as I lived with my mom and she was incredibly strict and controlling.
She was not at all beyond spying on me, trying to follow me and looking through my things.
I could never just say "I'm going out". I had to tell her exactly where and whom with (and those people had to meet with her approval) and leave the phone numbers as to where I can be reached (no cellphones back then). I also had a strict curfew-11pm at the latest.
So I had to come up with elaborate cover stories that would have several "layers" and would be very difficult to verify/trace.

I was not allowed to wear any make-up until I was in my second year of University, so I had to borrow Nellie's and then carefully remove all traces of it before I went home.

Our clients were mostly middle-aged overweight men with a lot of hair everywhere and terrible body odor. I am fairly certain that they needed us because their wives refused to have sex with them (and I don't blame them).
They were rough and crude and there was no any kind of "lovemaking" happening-it was a "fuck",plain and simple.

Things usually went pretty smoothly, but I did have several "bad" jobs.

One time I turned up at "madam"'s flat and there were 2 guys, not 1 as usual. I felt uneasy, but "madam" said she knew them and they were OK.
At first I thought I would "service" them one after another, but just as soon as I got undressed, both of them were all over me, grabbing me and pulling me into bed. I can only describe that booking as a rape.
That was my first experience with anal sex as well. It hurt like hell and I was crying and screaming and trying to get away, but they held me down and proceeded until they were both done.  Then they got dressed without a word and walked away,leaving money on the table while I was on the bed in fetal position sobbing.
"Madam" didn't come to my rescue. I think she got paid quite a bit to facilitate that encounter.

I was very sore, but all I could do was to clean up and go home.

I had to look all happy and care-free and hold it together,as I could never let my mother suspect that something was wrong. She would have never taken my side. In fact, she would probably turn me over to police.

I didn't "work" for a while after that episode until Nellie talked me into doing it again.

Another time a client got really violent. He was strangling me and at some point I was on the verge of passing out. He let go just in the nick of time. I'm not sure I would've survived had he held on for a couple seconds longer.

Few times clients would have me on my knees giving them blow jobs while they were standing up. They would grab the back of my head and shove their cocks into my throat, effectively closing off my airways.

There was no one to guide me through all the "learning curves",as Nellie and I didn't talk much about particulars of the job. I think we were both ashamed, although we acted as if we were OK with everything.

I did learn a lot, though.

Now I know how to be in control of the situation at all times without the client realising it.
I also know how to screen clients over the phone, protect myself and prevent a bad situation from happening.
With all my experience, I recognise potential danger beforehand and I simply do not take certain risks-it's not worth it.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Beauty vs. sex appeal

It is a very common misconception that in my industry (strippers,working girls) you have to be beautiful,thin,tall,busty to make lots of $$$$. WRONG!

Sex appeal is something intangible-it can't be described, it can't be taught, I don't even think it can be acquired. You either posses it or you don't. And it has very little to do with physical beauty.

For years I worked in one of the oldest and biggest strip clubs in Las Vegas-Olympic Gardens.
The place was open 24/7. It was (and probably still is) owned by Pete The Greek,who later went on to open Sapphire.

Here's how it worked. All girls were considered independent contractors. If you wanted to work there, you first had to obtain what is called "Sheriff's Card" from Las Vegas Metropolitan Police. They took your fingerprints and run your record to check that you didn't have prior arrests. If you had any arrests or outstanding warrants, you didn't get the card and simply couldn't work in Las Vegas,as all the hotel jobs and many others required Sheriff's Card as well.
The card had your name and photo on it. It was quite an ordeal to get it, as hundreds of people flock to Vegas in hopes of getting jobs every day and they all discover they need to go to Police department first. You can't make an appointment, so it's live queue and you better get there before opening at 9 am,as the wait could be as long as 5-6 hours.
With your freshly laminated Sheriff's Card you then make your way to the Manager on Duty of the club.

For a long time Olympic Gardens was by far the most prestigious and popular and they NEVER,EVER had to advertise for girls. Girls came in by a dozen every day asking to work there. That's where managers had a lot of fun.

To work at OG (Olympic Gardens) or any other strip club in Las Vegas for that matter, the girl has to pay "shift fee" up front when she turns up for work. Those vary depending on the time of day. As night time brings in more punters it is considered more profitable, so shift fee is $60-$80. Day time used to be free for a number of years and then became $20. Also, if you want to stay off stage, you had to pay another $25.

Contrary to popular belief, going up on stage does not really bring any serious money to the stripper-you are put on DJ's roster and he just calls the names in order they are listed, giving you 1 song advance notice. You go up and dance a set of 3 songs:full costume first song,and down to your G-string for the second and third. You get some dollar bills thrown at you or put in your G-string by punters sitting by the stage (if any). You might end up with about $15-$20 (if you're lucky) at the end of the set. It is also customary to tip the DJs at the end of your shift-they expect it,in fact.

On the other hand, lap dances are $20 per song and if punter buys what is commonly referred to as a "set"- 5 dances in a row, stripper pockets $100 for 15-20 min worth of dancing. So if you're in the middle of a "set" and you hear DJ calling you on stage, you'd have to go and quite possibly loose this particular client to another dancer,thus loosing $20-$60. If you ignore DJ and don't go on stage when called, you will be fined $40, so it is a prudent decision to pay $25 in advance to stay off DJ's roster.
However, that means that you're out of pocket $100 straight off the bat without any guarantee of making any money whatsoever.

With this set-up there is no limit as to how many girls can work every day/shift,as it is win/win situation for the establishment: the more girls, the more $$$ and more punters want to come in and browse the "merchandise"(punters are charged a "door fee"  and they buy booze, which is where REAL profits are). To put it in  perspective, Spearmint Rhino Strip club in Las Vegas has 3 bars and it's gross revenue is 3 million a month.
But that's not what the managers usually tell wannabe strippers. Depending on the manager's mood and personal preferences, they tell them that they "have enough girls at the moment", that they are "looking for a different type right now" and to "try later". It doesn't mean that managers attempt to sleep with every girl that walks in the door in order for her to get a job, but it is a common occurrence.
Sometimes managers just don't like the way girl looks/talks/walks... Sometimes they are too lazy to bother with paperwork right at that moment... I know some very pretty  girls who tried to get on OG's roster repeatedly and were repeatedly turned down for no apparent reason. And others walked through the door and started working that day despite the fact that their looks didn't amount to much.

Once the girls change into "stripper clothes" in the dressing room, they go on the floor and the hunt begins. Customers sit at the tables and on the little couches and booths that line the walls and girls just go up and ask if the guy wants a dance (meaning lap dance). There could be 5-15 girls on the floor during the day and as much as 300 (yes, 300) during the night. Competition is fierce and guys know it.

Usually just asking for a dance will not  get you anywhere. You'd have to sit and chat with the guy for a few minutes,trying to get him interested. Often it involves lightly rubbing his cock through his pants and sticking your boobs into his face. Anything to get him to buy a dance. It's a very delicate balance; you don't want to do too much for free (or let him grab you everywhere) and you don't want to waste too much time on it,either, as time is $$ and you're not making any unless you're doing a paid-for lap dance, but if you don't get him interested, he won't buy a dance at all and you'll walk away empty handed.

That's when you really see how beauty doesn't necessarily amount to much and sex appeal means everything. I've seem some truly gorgeous girls with awesome bodies getting turned down again and again and some rather plain looking (or even quite un-attractive) chicks getting dance after dance. I think sex-appeal is combination of charisma,personality,presentation,ability to sense what a particular individual wants/needs at the moment. Yes, looks to a degree, but very minor.

Some beautiful girl strolls into the club thinking she is "all that" and often times that reflects on her approach to  customers and her attitude. As a rule, punters don't like that. They are there to fulfill their dream,whatever that might be. They also believe that they are doing us a favor by spending their money (very male approach, but it is exactly how they view it) and they can care less about the dancer-it's all about them.
So a girl who can in 15 minute's time (about 3 songs) figure out what it is the guy after AND play into his fantasy and make him believe that she is just what he wants will get the $$$. It is not as easy as it sounds.

You also have to separate fantasy from reality in your own head,as often times the guys who come into the clubs are lonely and, yes, they want a relationship of sorts. It is a very dangerous wire act; I've known a lot of cases where a stripper played into that and in guys mind they were a "couple" when in her mind he was just another punter with $$$. This scenario always ends badly. From stalking to actual murder. Yes, murder and suicide.

This job is not for everyone. It messes with your head. You have to be very self-assured, secure and mature to do this day after day.
Imagine being in the club, barely dressed, for 2 hours, approaching guy after guy just to get turned down and seeing other girls doing dance after dance. You begin to think that something is wrong with YOU, you start to doubt your looks, your personality,your conversational skills.. You go and change your outfit- and still nothing. Sometimes you just need to leave and start fresh the next day.

On the other hand, some young and inexperienced girls would make $2000/night for a couple of nights and think that it will always be like that. They'd blow it all in a couple of days on booze/drugs/shopping and then get a "bad day" as described above. Huge blow to self-confidence and ego!

As a dancer you have to be weary of the guys that shower you with compliments and flattery-often times they just want to sleep with you for free or even worth- try to get you to be their girlfriend and have you support them and their suddenly lavish lifestyle. Sadly, I've seen so many girls fall into that trap.
This job is not for the weak or faint of heart, that's for sure

Friday, January 21, 2011

Life is messy (and my first lesbian experience)

Life is messy. Relationships are messy. No matter how much we want them to be neat and tidy and straight forward, it never happens. Mostly because it is human nature to protect ourselves-from pain (both physical and the emotional), from embarrassment, from looking bad…

Sometimes we don’t intend to lie, not at all-it just happens,as one thing leads to another.. So we just don’t tell the truth.. Sometimes we cant even admit the truth to ourselves.. And other times we just stubbornly refuse to face the facts, choosing creating this beautiful perfect image of ourselves in our heads..

If we look back, all of us can find events that became life-altering, affected us deeply and changed our perception of things and people, sometimes initiating a sequence that diverged our path.
When I was 19, I was a full-time student. Back then, in Communist Russia, it was mandatory for full-time students to be send to the country in the month of September and help the farmers gather the crops. The work was not paid for. It was considered “volunteering”, but the truth of the matter was that if you didn’t “volunteer” or supplied a doctor’s note to excuse you, your future career could suffer some serious damage.
You could be denied Communist Party membership and with that pretty much any upward career movement and any opportunity of the trips abroad.

So we all went. It was my third year of school (in Russia we went for 5 years, 6 days a week,as Sat was a full day of classes with only one day off and ton of homework-that’s how we earned our Master’s Degrees).

We were to live in a school building for a month, with 1 bathroom (and a very basic one at that) and sleeping 20 in a room in sleeping bags.

As the University I went to was very prestigious, students were mostly from well-to-do/influential families. Many of those households were quite opulent and often employed maids.
So you can see that the whole set-up was a great big departure from our normal every day lives and we were not at all thrilled by the prospect.
A lot of parents/family members chose to accompany our bus to the country to set us up and make sure we had at least basic stuff and plenty of food.

My girlfriend’s brother was one of those. He drove a car (not at all common back then in Russia,as cars were very expensive,hard to obtain and basically out of reach for the average Joe) and was following the bus with Victoria’s (my friend) fiancee.

Attraction was instant and chemistry palpable. Sergei (my friend’s brother) ended up driving back that night to ‘kidnap” me for an amazing night on the town.
I had to be back by 7 am, as there were teachers monitoring our attendance and it was checked several times throughout the day.
Sergei came for me several times a week for the rest of that month. We continued dating when I got back to the city and normal life.

I’ve always been a sentimental romantic (still am, although I have grown some pretty sharp edges over the past 20 years) and was absolutely head over heels in love. All those fabulous dinners, flowers… He seemed to feel the same. All went well for about 2-3 months. Until I started noticing some strange behaviour.

Sergei had very close friends-a married couple. Three of them met when they were taking entrance exams to the university 10 years prior. They all got accepted and Elina and Vlad (the two now married friends) started dating almost immediately, got married a year later and had a daughter straight away. As the war raged between Russia and Afganistan, Vlad joined the Army and served 2 years in Afganistan. He came back unharmed physically, but scarred emotionally (back then there was no name for it and it went untreated).

All three (Sergei,Vlad and Elina) worked at the same place now,about 45 min drive out of town and as Sergei was the only one with a car, it was only logical that he picked them up in the morning and they came back together in the evening. He stayed at their place for dinner, drinks and conversation several times a week. Back then TV had only 2 channels and not much on those, so we really spent a lot more time actually talking with out friends and family :).
As Sergei’s girlfriend, I became a frequent guest at those gatherings.

It became apparent rather quickly that Vlad and Elina’s marriage was not going well. They argued frequently (seemingly over nothing) and it often felt that Elina actually tried to pick  fights over  trivial matters.
She would often storm out and Sergei would always go after her, sometimes dragging me from unfinished dinner at a restaurant, so we can go to her place and console her.

I was having a funny feeling about that and one night, after yet another one of those incidents where we would follow Elina/stand at the locked door while she refused to let us in/console her when she finally did, I asked Sergei point blank if he was attracted to her and if something was going on between them.
He flew into a rage. He asked me how I could possibly think that he would “have those feelings towards his BEST FRIEND’S WIFE”. He told me I must have no idea what honor and decency means and he now questions my own integrity. Somehow it all became about me and what a lousy person I was and I ended up in tears,begging for forgiveness.
Mind, I was only 19 with precious little life/relationship experience. I was not prepared for any of what followed.

One day I was skipping classes with Vicky and we were having lunch at quirky restaurant we both liked.
Vicky and Sergei’s father was a Chief Of Police, which was quite an important post in our fairly small city where bribery,red tape and bureaucracy ran rampart. Quite often taxi drivers recognised the address when dropping us off at their place and refuse to charge us. A lot of times when bar/restaurant proprietors recognised Vicky, they offered us free drinks and other perks.

This particular restaurant was build on the site of an ancient village. It was “sunken”-you had to go down to what looked almost like a big dug out area and consisted of series of private,completely separate rooms (which used to be dwellings). Rooms were decorated with abundance of Persian rugs and low tables. It was a perfect place for Vicky and I when we skipped classes,as no one would spy us there. Vicky smoked and it was not at all an acceptable thing for a woman to do in a Muslim city we lived in, so she loved it there-she could smoke freely.

We were eating made to order lunch-Vicky  requested her favorite dish and although it wasn’t on the menu,they  cooked it for us.
Conversation was punctuated by long silences,as we were lost in our own thoughts and were quite comfortable with each other.

Suddenly a strange feeling just hit me out of the blue. I wanted to kiss Vicky. REALLY kiss her. We weren’t drinking alcohol, so it wasn’t that.

I moved closer and put my hand on hers. She looked up at me, but didn’t say anything. We talked some more about nothing. And then I leaned in and put my mouth on hers. She stiffened at first, but only for a moment. I kissed her and after awhile she was kissing me back! I was so aroused, I was shaking.

All I wanted was to put my hands and mouth all over her and there was nothing stopping me. I put my hand on her breast, first over her blouse, then underneath. Her skin felt so soft and smooth.
Before I knew it, my hand was under her skirt but it took me ages to move it up to where I REALLY wanted to be. She was so wet, her panties were soaked through and through.

We ended up making love for almost 2 hours. Not a single coherent thought went through my head. I was completely and utterly lost in her. We didn’t say a word.

When we were finished, reality struck.  Gay,and especially lesbian was not acceptable thing at all back then. Not by the government (it was punishable by jail term if caught), not by society,not by anyone,really. Gay people were considered freaks,abnormal, it was shameful to be that way. Also, I was dating her brother and she had a boyfriend.
It was awkward couple of minutes,as we got dressed, not saying a word to each other and left,catching separate taxis.

We never spoke to each other again. Although we went to the same Uni, we just ignored each other. We simply didn’t know how to handle that and there was no one to ask and no books to read on the subject. I lost my friend and I will forever regret it, but there is nothing to be done.

In the meantime, my relationship with Sergei was going steadily downhill until one night at 2 am he woke me up with a phone call. It was short,abrupt and he did all the talking,as I was too stunned to speak. He said he used to think that I loved him, but he realised that I did not and he doesn’t want to see me anymore and there is nothing to discuss. When I started saying something he just hang up. I will never know if Vicky told him about her and I and our tryst, but given the circumstances it is very,very unlikely.
I was gutted, but he didn’t want to talk to me and our paths didn’t cross in everyday life, so I went on being miserable and heartbroken.

I would go and see Elina  at least once a week,though. Yes, in hopes that I might see Sergei there (which never happened), but mostly because she was the only person I could talk about him. I thought she was my friend. She sure did ask a lot of questions about his bedroom performance,habits,likes and dislikes. At the time, it seemed normal girl talk. She would get a phone call sometimes and will go into another room and talk for at least half an hour or more without telling me who was on the line. It was a bit strange, but not overly so. I didn’t think anything of it. She complained about Vlad a lot. She said he’s been drinking heavily and she asked him to spend some time at his mother’s place to “straighten out”.

One day it was a big holiday, I cant remember which one now. Everyone was off work. I knew with fair degree of certainty that Sergei would probably be at Vlad’s drinking (as they always did).
I went over un-announced and was quite surprised to find Vlad by himself, already quite drunk.
He invited me in and after just a few minutes told me that Elina asked for divorce and that he thinks that she and Sergei have something going on between them.
I tried persuading him that it couldn’t be true. I am sure you know how  whilst the facts staring you in the face, you still want to cling to hope,however feeble.

We ended up drinking a bottle of vodka and a bottle of cognac. I am not a big drinker at all and back then hardly touched the staff, so I was completely off my face.
Having said that, I remember very well (as much as I desperately want to forget) what followed.
Vlad and I ended up in bed together. I don’t know why I did it. I was absolutely not attracted to him and not at all horny. I was sad and lonely and missed Sergei and somehow being with Vlad reminded me of being with Sergei,by proxy. I know this doesn’t make any sense, but that’s how I felt. To this day I am ashamed of myself and very much regret that episode. I am very lucky I didn’t catch any decease or gotten pregnant,as we didn’t use any protection.

The next day I had my very first (and,actually last) hangover. It was horrible, but that’s one lesson I actually learned on the first try-I never drunk myself into a state like that again and definitely know my limits.
I think the whole thing was made worth by the memories of what I’ve done. I also discovered that Vlad went into my purse and stole most of my cash… Icing on the cake.

Several months passed and it was summer and I went to St.Petersburg for one of my friend’s wedding. What was meant to be a 3 day trip ended up a month-long holiday,as I hooked up with one of the groomsmen and accepted his invitation to stay. I was having a good ‘ol time, trying hard to forget everything.
Imagine my shocked surprise when said groomsman appeared on my doorstep 2 days after I arrived home, declaring his love for me and proposing marriage,ring in hand.
I was dumbstruck. The whole thing meant nothing to me-it was just a summer fling while I was trying to take my mind off things… And then the thought struck me. And it wasn’t a good one.
I’ve decided to use the whole situation to try and get Sergei back, to make him jealous.

That night I took my “fiancee” to Elina’s place.. Just to “hang out”. And, whadda ya know, Sergei was there. We were drinking and eating and then 3 of us (Sergei,myself and “fiancee”) went to my place to continue the party.
2 hours later “fiancee” was passed out on the couch and my dreams were coming true. Sergei was asking me “what I was doing” and do I “really love this guy” and “why are we doing this to each other” and that “he’d made a mistake” and he “misses me”.

Before I knew it, we were on the floor making passionate love in the same room where “fiancee” slept. Next morning I bluntly told “fiancee’ that I was sorry, but it wasn’t going to work out and he should not have come and that I gave him no indication that I was interested in anything serious. I told him he needed to leave immediately. I am not proud of myself. It was a shitty and selfish thing to do.

I saw Sergei for the next 2 days, delirious with happiness, until on day three he told me that I’m nothing but a whore and I must be delusional to thing that he would want to be with me, much less marry me. Just like that. Full stop.

I can’t really find the words to describe how I felt. Devastated seems like such an understatement.
Several months have passed. I was sitting in my school cafeteria having lunch with my classmate, who happened to be Vicky’s friend.
She was complaining about having to go out of town for a wedding that she didn’t approve of anyway and how it was not worth it. Then she suddenly stopped short. “You don’t know,do you?” she asked. “Know what?”-I had no clue what she was on about.
I could tell she didn’t want to be the one to bring those news to me, but it was too late-she dug herself into a hole.

Finally she told me that Elina and Sergei were married the night before and the reason the wedding had to be out of town and very private was because Elina was 5 months pregnant and really showing. In our Muslim town that was definitely a scandal.

I remember sitting still for a couple of minutes and then saying good buy to my classmate and walking out.
It was 3 in the afternoon, sun blazing. Yet when I looked up, the sky was as black as ink. Literally. Objectively I knew it couldn’t be, that it wasn’t, but that’s what I saw.
I stood their thinking “no,no,NO!” because I knew my mind is slipping away and I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t want to end up in a loony bin.

I found an empty auditorium,locked the doors and just let it go: I was on my hands and knees,sobbing for almost an hour. My face was swollen almost beyond recognition and several times I had to jam my fist into mouth as I knew I was being too loud and didn’t want anyone to hear.
I spent another half an hour in the bathroom splashing cold water on my face afterwards.

I couldn’t talk to anyone about it AND I had to keep it together at home (being all happy) as my relationship with my mother is a subject for another book and she knew nothing about any  goings on in my life and I couldn’t cry and go to pieces for fear of her asking questions. If Victoria was still my friend, she would’ve forewarned me and it wouldn’t be such a shock. We could’ve talked about it… But she wasn’t my friend anymore. And it was my fault.

It was the probably the hardest few months of my life. For a year after that I couldn’t date anyone, I couldn’t even THINK about going out. I was crushed. Completely. All the spirit was gone out of me. I went mechanically about my daily routine, but it took all the strength that I had. I was damaged, no doubt about it. The kind of damage that cannot be repaired and that stays with you throughout your whole life, affecting and infecting everything.

Life is not black and white. It’s different shades of grey. There is no clear cut “right” or “wrong”. Yes, I was treated badly, but then I’ve treated people badly myself. I’ve done things that I knew were wrong and I hurt people and there is no excuse for that.

A year later I was at a party and I met a guy who was a spitting image of Sergei,only older. I was only attracted to him because of what he looked like. He was married and a womaniser. We started a tumulus affair that lasted several years, as a result of which I moved to US.
I never saw my country again.
Seemingly mundane event lead to life-altering sequence.

Now,all these years later, I have a fairly good idea of what really went on.
Sergei and Elina fell in love, but she was already dating Vlad and it was serious. “Code of honor” prevented them from admitting it even to themselves,probably. I wish they did. Sometimes there is no absolute “right” or “wrong”-just “less wrong”. Yes,it would have hurt Vlad..For a while. But it would’ve prevented a bad marriage that was doomed from the start, would’ve saved a lot of unhappiness that span for years.. Would prevent their daughter from seeing those ugly fights and divorce.

Sergei was dating a lot of women in attempt to forget Elina or maybe even genuinely trying to replace her. He was trying to get his mind off the one he really wanted. I was one of those women. I meant nothing to him.
I wish he had the balls to tell me the truth or at least THINK about telling the truth to himself. We,the three of us, hurt each other and other innocent bystanders just because we were unwilling to face the truth or accept it.

Life is short. Tomorrow may never come. Truth hurts most of the time and sometimes it is so hard to face. It makes us uncomfortable. And yet we have to at least try to be honest. No one said life was easy.

There are no “free lunches”

Thursday, January 20, 2011

How it all started

I was 17.. I know,shocking. But it is what it is.

My dream was to be a stewardess (or,more politically correct,flight attendant). Back then in Russia (my country of origin) the screening process for Aeroflot was held about once every 2 months at the Regional Aeroflot Headquarters.

I was just 17 (required age was 18),but I didn't tell interview panel that. I passed the "look-see" and "Q&A" stage and next was medical,which was really most important of them all: if you failed that, no amount of good looks or education would get you the job.

I passed the medical and was able to sweet talk HR person into accepting me,as my 18th birthday was just a few month away. I was so thrilled!

That job is where I've met Nellie-she became my friend and "mentor" in so many ways. She was 10 years older and so much more experienced.

After we've been friends for a few months, she asked me if I've ever had sex for money. The answer was "no" and the next logical question was if I would like to...

To put this into perspective, back then in Russia, your average engineer was making about $100-$120 ROUBLES a month.. Average office worker about $80-$90 roubles a month..

Going rate for a Working Girl was $200 roubles per appointment (which often lasted less than an hour). Surely, you can see how that was so very tempting.

Back then prostitution was illegal in Russia and punishable by jail term, as Communist Government declared that "there is no prostitution in Russia".. Yeah, right..LOL..

As the country was very old fashioned back then, the profession was not at all accepted by society at large and frowned upon by most. Add to that the fact that Internet and cellphones were non-existent  and you can see how it was all hush-hush, very secretive, word-of-the-mouth only and only from trusted friends/associates.

The way it was done, one working girl would "recruit" a friend,as only really wealthy people could afford the services-usually members of The Communist Party, high-powered officials,etc. and it had to be kept a secret,for all everyone's benefit.

They would send chauffeured government cars to pick us up discreetly, or we'll meet them at designated location ("safe house" of sorts) and a very nice dinner will ensue, at the end of which all the couples will adjourn into the bedrooms to "do the deed". The "deed" itself never took long,not really.

Very often we would be given presents as well as cash: french perfume (much coveted in Russia back then,as it was NOT sold in the stores-black market only and it cost accordingly),chocolates etc.

We would be driven home (or wherever we wanted to be dropped off) afterwards.

It was all kind of exciting and thrilling: the whole secrecy bit, the vast amounts of money. Yes, it was unpleasant and outright disgusting at times, but even as a youngster, I had a very realistic,if not jaded outlook on life and knew that there is no such thing as "free lunch": if you wanted to have nice things and make a lot of money and,most importantly, BE INDEPENDENT, in a world where males dominated the workforce and women were nothing more than a pretty "backdrop" and bearers of children, you had to find the way to use this mindset to your advantage,as fighting it would prove fruitless and frustrating.

I honed that ability over the years and, I have to be honest, have not regretted going down that path.